Ladies with pets and kids

LakeR2014

We recently got a puppy - love him to death - but OMG has it changed everything!   We were carefree (and knew it) before, but having the puppy has changed how we are day to day.   Our life revolves around him to the point that we don't see friends as much as we used to (he's home all day and then we want to be home with him all night).

Having said puppy - has me seriously questioning if I could handle having kids!  I mean, I love him to death, but the crazy all hours of the night pottiness, the biting, and the barking are a little much/stressful sometimes and I just want to escape.  (It doesn't help that we live in the tundra and going for walks right now is almost impossible). He's only 3 months old now and just really getting into everything - i'm told he'll grow out of the biting at everything phase soon, but then I think, don't kids last years through this phase?

I guess my question to people who have had puppies - did it make you question ever becoming a mom to a human? 

ETA:  Any ladies had felt this way, went on to have kids and all good now?

mlg78

Absolutely. We've had our dog 15 months now. When I groan about having to take the dog out to pee or he's being a pest jumping on the bed while I'm trying to sleep it does tell me that children probably wouldn't be a good idea for me.

beethery

All of my animals were driving me fucking mental the other morning and it hit home that I probably do not want to have kids. I'm cool with it.

[Deleted User]

FI and I got a puppy like a month before finding out I was pregnant!  At that point we just joked it was good practice for having a newborn!  Puppy did way worse things at that age than our son did as a newborn (or even since) lol

Our son is now 2.5! Having a newborn baby is exhausting, at times frustrating and stressful, but is a totally different when it's your baby! It's cliche but it's worth it (if you want kids of course)!  You really learn to adjust to the schedule and demands. Toddler years have their own struggles and challenges (hello tantrums), but he and our dog are best buds!  

I think parents, even those who never questioned if they want to have kids, no matter what will have those similar feelings at times.  There are days that FI or I will need a break, and will take an hour to ourselves to read, workout, or run an errand. 

emmaaa

No kids yet here but I do understand the puppy thing. H and I have 3 dogs. The youngest will be three this April. Puppies are so cute and fun and you just love them so much. I think God made them that way so we don't want to kill them when they poop in the floor, or when they don't poop when you take them out but do at 3 in the morning. Sometimes I get this feeling of wanting another puppy but then am qucikly reminded I don't want to have to deal with the puppy phase until after we have kids.

theycallmelinz

So you know how some people will give up their dog if they have a baby and the dog/baby just don't jive well?

I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE my dog and he gets super jealous if I or FI hold a child. It's to the point where I'm like, "Hmmm what if Peewee (my dog) doesn't like our future baby? Can I give it back?"

Unfortunately I can't speak to your original question because I don't have kids, but I get aggravated as all hell when I just want to SLEEEEEP at 5 am on a Saturday morning and Peewee demands that the world wake up and play with him. This definitely tells me I'm not ready for kids yet. 

novella1186

I don't have kids but I totally understand the puppy stress. My beagle was an absolute monster as a puppy. Like to the point that I would call my mom, sobbing, and feel like I was on the verge of a nervous break down. She chewed through my computer cords while I was on deadline for an assignment and I lost everything, she chewed through a very expensive bag that I had been given as a gift, she peed everywhere no matter how many times I took her outside, she screamed like she was being murdered whenever I put her in her crate, I mean I could go on and on. 

She grew out of it pretty fast, though, and these days she sleeps about 90% of the time. My second dog was an absolute angel as a puppy, so that was awesome. 

The reason my dogs make me think I don't want to have kids is how hard it is to go on vacation now. I travel a lot, whether it's a short road trip for the weekend or flying to Europe for a month. Usually we have to decide whether or not the dogs will come with us. If not, where are they going to stay? Who's available to watch them? How will we get them there? When will we pick them up? What do we need to pack for them? Should we bring their crates? Should we bring their beds? How much dog food will they need? Should we buy an extra bag? How many toys should we take? How will we fit all this in the car? The logistics become much more complicated. 

And for kids it's even worse. 

I also love that with dogs, you can just walk out the door any time and leave them home. As long as you won't be away for a long time, they're fine. Sometimes when I leave them to just run to the store really quick for eggs or something, I think "omg if I had kids I'd have to get them bundled up, pack up their diaper bag, get them in the car, do so much prep just for a 5 minute trip to the store; it would turn into an hour-long ordeal. Fuck that." 

[Deleted User]

No.  I knew before I had a dog, that I never wanted kids.  Getting the dog confirmed how right I was in never wanting kids.  We are pet free right now, and sometimes I miss having a dog and then I think about how much work they are.  Kids are even more work.  And I personally find neither the idea of child rearing to be fun nor rewarding. 

I'll pass on the kids.  Maybe a dog again in 5-10 years.

afox007

I'm the opposite. My dog lately has decided his new favorite pastime Is treeing raccoons and barking ALL. FUCKING. NIGHT. The last time FI and I finally gave up on sleep and went to hang out at like 3 am; we decided at least nothing will change when we have babies.

 If anything FSS is why we're hesitant t pull the trigger. He's finally at the age that we can barely keep him at home and don't need to worry about a sitter and aren't sure we want to start over. At the same time he's no longer cute and cuddly and it makes us want a little one.

erinlin25

Right there with ya girl!  Our puppy is now 5 months old, we got her at 5 weeks and wow life sure did change over night.  But the sleep-ness nights and training mode does phase.  The first two months was rough, and I was crazy tired but now our pup is sleeping through the night (for the most part) and potty-trained (no doggy door yet so we do sometimes get a wake up call in the middle of the night so she can go out).  She gets to come to work with us too so a lot of that has to do with her being with us pretty much 24/7. 

But, I for sure have questioned in the last few months of  "do I really have the energy for a baby!?" Our original plan was to start TTC in June, but we may postpone a little longer.  At least with the pup we can leave her when we have a date night--and I know babies will not sleep through the night or potty-train that quick   I had a moment when she was about 3 months old (we crate trained her) and she was in the car/ in her crate on our way to work and she just would not stop barking.  I live less than 2 miles from work and I barely made it out of the driveway wanting to just scream and cry and say 'STOP IT!!!!"  We got to work, she calmed down and snuggled into her bed and 5 minutes later I was in puppy-bliss again.  So far all the hardships there are 3x more happy moments.

But ultimately, I know I still want a baby, and I simply look as our puppy experience as real life training to get us warmed up to the idea.  Kahlua for sure is our first baby, but I know we will have just as much (even more) adjusting too do when we do have a real baby.

You will get through the puppy burnout and it will be OK.  And if you do decide that maybe you don't want kids after this experience, That's OK too!  

KatWAG

theycallmelinz said:

So you know how some people will give up their dog if they have a baby and the dog/baby just don't jive well?

I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE my dog and he gets super jealous if I or FI hold a child. It's to the point where I'm like, "Hmmm what if Peewee (my dog) doesn't like our future baby? Can I give it back?"

Unfortunately I can't speak to your original question because I don't have kids, but I get aggravated as all hell when I just want to SLEEEEEP at 5 am on a Saturday morning and Peewee demands that the world wake up and play with him. This definitely tells me I'm not ready for kids yet. 

 

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@theycallmelinz

 

I completely understand, and I do have a kid.

 

When my son was born he had to spend some time in the NICU. When we got to see him for the first time I made some reference about how Fred (the dog) cant wait tomeet the baby and I hope they get along.

 

The NICU nurse, chimed in and said that if they dont we can always give the dog away.

 

Now I realize my hormone were going crazy from just giving birth, but I torn that guy a new asshole.

 

You would think I would be focused on my brand new (and sick) baby. But no. I defended my first baby, the dog. Oh well.

 

It took me a while to bond with both my dog and my baby. But parenting of any kind gets easier over time, once you start to feel more confident in what you are doing.

ElcaB

Congrats on the four-legged addition! Dogs are just the best

We've had our "dogter" for exactly one year & love her to bits and pieces. She does stay home alone while we work during the day, and I like for us to be home with her in the evenings (although that doesn't stop us from still going out), so I understand how you feel. 

First of all, the overwhelmed feeling you're getting due to the high maintenance is in part due to him being a puppy. Puppies nip, they chew things that should not be chewed, and they have accidents. I promise, this will subside. In our first few months with our puppy, she ate the remote, the laptop charging cord, a night light, and my brand new most favorite couch pillows. 

Call me silly, but I think getting a dog is a great step in a journey to parenthood! H & I have really bonded over the shared responsibility. I'm not saying everyone who's considering parenthood should get a puppy, just that it's helpful to see how certain aspects of parenthood will play out based on the way they do with being a puppy parent, you know? H didn't even want a dog, but now our furbaby has him wrapped around her paws! He loves her so much, and it makes me so happy to see him dote on her...the way I expect he will dote on our children someday

lovemesomemonster

No idea on the kids thing but the puppy thing I know well. Our little angel is 7yrs old now but I have had her since she was tiny. The crying at night, potty training, and other training almost drove me crazy. Keep at it and it's all worth it! Took about a year until she was at zero accidents in the house (yeah, stubborn and smart, awesome combo), doesn't bark at all, and doesn't chew on anything. My advice, while you are in this stage, lay in on thick and consistent, you will be much happier in the long run! Because we were so focuses on her training for so long we don't have to worry about what we leave on the floor when we aren't home, or if our house has a fenced yard. Work together and make sure you are consistent! I feel you though, it's hard, and I can't imagine a kid! At least I can put her outside if she's driving me up a wall, with a kid you get child services called on you!

lovemesomemonster

KatWAG said:

theycallmelinz said:

So you know how some people will give up their dog if they have a baby and the dog/baby just don't jive well?

I'm the complete opposite. I LOVE my dog and he gets super jealous if I or FI hold a child. It's to the point where I'm like, "Hmmm what if Peewee (my dog) doesn't like our future baby? Can I give it back?"

Unfortunately I can't speak to your original question because I don't have kids, but I get aggravated as all hell when I just want to SLEEEEEP at 5 am on a Saturday morning and Peewee demands that the world wake up and play with him. This definitely tells me I'm not ready for kids yet. 

 

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@theycallmelinz

 

I completely understand, and I do have a kid.

 

When my son was born he had to spend some time in the NICU. When we got to see him for the first time I made some reference about how Fred (the dog) cant wait tomeet the baby and I hope they get along.

 

The NICU nurse, chimed in and said that if they dont we can always give the dog away.

 

Now I realize my hormone were going crazy from just giving birth, but I torn that guy a new asshole.

 

You would think I would be focused on my brand new (and sick) baby. But no. I defended my first baby, the dog. Oh well.

 

It took me a while to bond with both my dog and my baby. But parenting of any kind gets easier over time, once you start to feel more confident in what you are doing.

THIS I don't get.. you made a commitment to the puppy when you got it and made it a part of your family, you aren't going to give the kid back if he doesn't get along with the next one are you?! Good for you for standing up for your fur baby

cakemurderer

I never wanted kids, but after fostering a puppy I was absolutely sure about that! It seriously was like having a child. Gone were the days of coming home and decompressing after work. Instead I had to let the dog out, play with the dog in the yard, and then watch the dog like a hawk once we were inside because he'd get into anything he could and either destroy it or eat it. I couldn't leave him alone long enough to make dinner! That said, he was such a sweetheart and as much as I enjoyed having my furniture and possessions intact once he found a forever home, I do miss him.