Bride and Groom Fake Wedding

Vivandiere8

Don't know if someone posted this yet. It's from a recent Dear Abby. It's like the weird backwards version of the PPD after the real marriage. Sounds like a mess and potential for a lot of problems. Terrible idea...  LINK

Dear Amy: A friend of 15 years had her wedding this past fall.

In my recent phone conversation with the "bride," she slipped up and I learned the couple were never legally married. The "bride" said the "groom" wanted to wait until 2015 because of taxes and now he wants a prenuptial agreement.

The groom's cousin performed the fake ceremony. Guests traveled from four countries and across the country to attend this fake wedding, with 150 in attendance.

As far as I can tell, beyond the "bride," "groom" and cousin, I am the only person who knows the couple are not legally married and that the wedding was a sham. Everyone else thinks they are married — including the parents. Both the "bride" and "groom" are professionals and in their 30s. This lack of integrity and respect is shocking and unforgivable. Please help me deal with this friend. — RSVPeeved

Dear RSVPeeved: I may be extrapolating too much from this story, but my instinct is that if the "groom/husband" is perusing a prenuptial agreement at this point, there is a real possibility that this sham marriage may be followed by a breakup before a legal wedding ever takes place.

The bride should have figured out by now that once she dons a wedding dress and participates in a bogus wedding ceremony, legal leverage regarding prenups has pretty much walked itself down the aisle. But if a breakup happened, the couple would be in the uncomfortable position of having to fake a divorce from a marriage that never existed. This would make a nice plot for a Noel Coward farce but it is quite awkward in real life.

Or the couple might quietly go to the courthouse, tie the knot and continue to celebrate the date of the ceremony and party as their wedding anniversary.

I understand your distress over this. The most logical response would be to convey your disappointment to your friend (if you haven't already). There is no need to disclose this to anyone else.

hellohkb

......This really is some weird PPD Twilight Zone shit. Wtf?

Vivandiere8

You know considering that "this past fall" wasn't such a huge wait between then and 2015, and they really could have just waited and had the ceremony and reception in 2015... I suspect that the groom was having second thoughts, or cold feet or something, and used the taxes as an excuse to put off the legal part of it. The silly bride just wanted her princess day so badly that she turned a blind eye to all of this and thought it would work out ok.

But can you imagine spending all that money, getting all dressed up, having so many friends and family there for such a special day... and knowing it your heart that it wasn't real. You weren't really going home with your new "husband" at the end of the night. It just makes me feel kind of sad inside. I can't imagine wasteing such a wonderful day and moment like that when I think of my own wedding.

Inkdancer

This is baffling.

novella1186

Wait... so I can do the whole wedding thing and then not actually be married? Cool! Oh wait not cool, that's fucking stupid. 

hellohkb

Yeah, its really very sad.

LadyMillil

My BSC sis actually did this. The officiant they wanted couldn't legally marry them. Instead of hiring a new officiant, they decided to get married at the RD and have a "fake" ceremony the next day. The RD was cancelled due to severe storms so they didn't do the legal stuff the night before and pretended to get married on the wedding day. I have no idea if/when they did the legal stuff. 

[Deleted User]

novella1186 said:

Wait... so I can do the whole wedding thing and then not actually be married? Cool! Oh wait not cool, that's fucking stupid. 

They had a prom.

littlepep

I actually know someone who did this. The couple had this whole wedding, but apparently never took care of the paperwork. Not long after the "wedding" they decided they didn't want to be married. She ended up dating and eventually marrying a guy who was a GM in the wedding. It was so weird. 

MollyandD

I had a nightmare that I did this. In the dream, we didn't sign the license on the wedding day. Then we went to go do it and I was really sad that my wedding day (at the chapel) wasn't my real wedding day anymore. It was a weird dream, but it was very unpleasant. It's weird to think some people are ok with all the lying and deceit that way.

classicalandedgy

Ok so this is horrible to admit...  But, when my fiancé's co-worker found out we were getting married, she really wanted to become ordained and marry us, we are not really close.  I know it sounds weird but she has cancer, it went into remission and is now back.  She does not feel like she has long left for this world, and well, don't you kind of have to honor a dying woman's request?  I mean we would hire a stranger to do it so why not let her be a part of it right?

But, I have these moments of craziness, where I'm like: But what if she dies first?  What do we do then, or:  What if she dies and doesn't file the paperwork, how will we know that we are not legally married?  It's terrible I know and we have already agreed so no way am I backing out now.  But it is a small source of stress, especially since the wedding is not until July...

 

Edited for typo

Cookie Pusher

classicalandedgy said:

Ok so this is horrible to admit...  But, when my fiancé's co-worker found out she was getting married, she really wanted to become ordained and marry us, we are not really close.  I know it sounds weird but she has cancer, it went into remission and is now back.  She does not feel like she has long left for this world, and well, don't you kind of have to honor a dying woman's request?  I mean we would hire a stranger to do it so why not let her be a part of it right?

But, I have these moments of craziness, where I'm like: But what if she dies first?  What do we do then, or:  What if she dies and doesn't file the paperwork, how will we know that we are not legally married?  It's terrible I know and we have already agreed so no way am I backing out now.  But it is a small source of stress, especially since the wedding is not until July...

You could mail the paperwork in yourselves. As long as everything is filled out, witnessed, and signed properly, I don't think they care who actually puts it in the mailbox.

classicalandedgy

Cookie Pusher said:

classicalandedgy said:

Ok so this is horrible to admit...  But, when my fiancé's co-worker found out she was getting married, she really wanted to become ordained and marry us, we are not really close.  I know it sounds weird but she has cancer, it went into remission and is now back.  She does not feel like she has long left for this world, and well, don't you kind of have to honor a dying woman's request?  I mean we would hire a stranger to do it so why not let her be a part of it right?

But, I have these moments of craziness, where I'm like: But what if she dies first?  What do we do then, or:  What if she dies and doesn't file the paperwork, how will we know that we are not legally married?  It's terrible I know and we have already agreed so no way am I backing out now.  But it is a small source of stress, especially since the wedding is not until July...

You could mail the paperwork in yourselves. As long as everything is filled out, witnessed, and signed properly, I don't think they care who actually puts it in the mailbox.

Yes, ultimately we may mail in the certificate ourselves after the wedding, but we leave directly from our wedding to our honeymoon.  I just have some logistics to work out. 

melbenso

Cookie Pusher said:

classicalandedgy said:

Ok so this is horrible to admit...  But, when my fiancé's co-worker found out she was getting married, she really wanted to become ordained and marry us, we are not really close.  I know it sounds weird but she has cancer, it went into remission and is now back.  She does not feel like she has long left for this world, and well, don't you kind of have to honor a dying woman's request?  I mean we would hire a stranger to do it so why not let her be a part of it right?

But, I have these moments of craziness, where I'm like: But what if she dies first?  What do we do then, or:  What if she dies and doesn't file the paperwork, how will we know that we are not legally married?  It's terrible I know and we have already agreed so no way am I backing out now.  But it is a small source of stress, especially since the wedding is not until July...

You could mail the paperwork in yourselves. As long as everything is filled out, witnessed, and signed properly, I don't think they care who actually puts it in the mailbox.

I filed our wedding paperwork in person the Monday after our wedding.  Our minister was a friend of H's from out of state and we needed the official certification from the state to deposit all of the checks we got as wedding gifts, since some were made out with my maiden name (which I kept) and some were made out with H's last name as mine.  It was no big deal.  As long as the documents are signed, anyone can file them.

My bigger concern was that our officiant had accidentally written the wrong date on the certificate to be filed.  He dated it the day the license expired (exactly one month after our wedding date) rather than the day that we got married.  Fortunately, since it was impossible that we had gotten married on a date that had not yet occurred, the probate court let me cross it off, rewrite the correct date, and initial it to file instead of getting new paperwork and having to mail it to an out of state officiant for resigning. But I made a very panicked call to them that morning before driving down to file the paperwork.

sophhabobopha

Abby is always much classier than me. I'd tell fucking everyone.