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Bachelorette Shenanigans

bakersckbakersck member
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in May 2015 Weddings
What are the plans for your bachelorette party?
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Re: Bachelorette Shenanigans

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    bakersckbakersck member
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    My sister is planning something very low key.  I'm not a wild partier, so she's booking a house up in wine country with a wine tasting tour. We'll go to a nice dinner and bar hop at the bars downtown.  I'm really excited for it. It's most likely going to be on April 25
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    brittanykaylachandlerbrittanykaylachandler member
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    I have no idea! My bridesmaids are planning it and I know nothing (except the date... April 17-18 and where we are staying). My wedding is May 1st so it's two weeks before the big day!!
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    JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    My sister is planning something.  She wanted to do a big weekend away thing but I tried to tone it down.  I think we're going to do a local weekend, maybe a spa day, and get our drink on in a hotel room!
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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    jltobe23jltobe23 member
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    My sister (MOH) is planning mine.  I wanted to do a weekend thing in ocean city MD or Miami but deep down I knew none of my bridesmaids and friends could do that. So I don't know the details but we are doing a night out in the city NYC.  my wedding is May 23rd and the bachelorette party is the first weekend in May I believe.
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    pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
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    M girls rented a house in the Hamptons, so we are going there for a couple of days. We are doing a spa day, and a wine day, and getting our drink on!
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    ld333ld333 member
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    No idea yet. Half of me is slightly concerned if one will even happen, considering that two of the bridesmaids (groom's sisters) "don't like other people" and make 5 billion fake excuses as to why they can't get together on a certain day. Why can't people just suck it up and either get along with each other or say "no thanks, y'all can plan without us!" Ugh. 
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    jltobe23jltobe23 member
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    @ld333 I'm sorry, that really stinks. You should get to have one, even if its a tiny one, like a spa day with your bridal party or close friends, or dinner and relaxing night at a house or hotel. And if you have to plan it yourself so be it. I agree, people need to suck it up and either come for you since you will be their family soon, or just not come but not be mean about it.  This is your wedding and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it!
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    emster86emster86 member
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    I am not a partier.. The girls are taking me out to get nails done/massage etc.. just a relaxed, fun day of girly time! Looking forward to it! :)

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    alechiatalechiat member
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    I picked the location Venice Beach, rent a house for 4 days, because I love it there! And I am letting the girls plan everything else and I've heard all kinds of things should be interesting lol!
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    cmarr684cmarr684 member
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    edited February 2015
    My sister booked rooms for a night out in Atlantic City, NJ for April 25. I think we are going out to dinner, then coming back to the rooms and getting ready for a night out :)
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    MegIAmMegIAm member
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    My sister is doing enough for my bridal shower, so I told her to keep the bachelorette really simple. Sounds like a day in NY with a few close friends; it's perfect!
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    amelishaamelisha member
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    I'm not having one. I'm the youngest in my circle and the last to get married and I am kinda over the whole thing after having been to so many in the past. 

    We'll be in Vegas for our wedding so we will probably go out to clubs the night before, but not as an organized thing or anything.

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    jltobe23jltobe23 member
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    @mikenberger I never said she SHOULD plan her own bridal shower or bachelorette party. So there was no advice given I just said she deserves to have one. All I was getting at was people sometimes suck and as a bride to be she has the right to enjoy what she wants to do. And let's be honest who are you to say what's appropriate? Maybe some people don't have or want anyone to plan there parties. Or maybe in her situation she has girls who are making it difficult to plan something.
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    ld333ld333 member
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    I'm not planning anything. Especially the bridal shower (which I'm already assuming won't happen, since my MOH lives overseas). It's just dumb. My matron of honor is planning the bachelorette (and told me to relax over any worries). I just wish that 2 of the girls got over their "I don't like other people and want nothing to do with non-already established family members or non-already established friendships" ways. It makes them appear very cold to anyone who don't know them. I don't enjoy being around people I don't know either, but I never let it show. I was always told to "suck it up and get over it". 
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    jltobe23jltobe23 member
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    WOW I have never seen so many people be so critical and pin point every little thing that someone says.  I am Sorry I was just trying to make her feel better. And in my opinion ( which is what these forums are for) Every woman is entitled to enjoy every part of the wedding process ( bachelorette "party" included) because Going out to dinner with friends or having friends over is not a gift giving occasion. You're not asking anyone for anything except their company before your wedding day.  Again I apologize for responding to someone who was venting about people ( soon to be family) being difficult. 

    @ld333 I am glad your Matron of honor told you not to worry.  I am sure you will enjoy anything she plans for you.  I apologize if it seemed I was telling you to plan your own bachelorette party that was not my intention. I was just stating that people suck and you deserve to enjoy every moment of this wedding process.  And I hope that those 2 people do suck it up and make the night special for you.

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    ld333ld333 member
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    No worries @JessGuess23! Unlike the majority of people that critically nitpick every damn thing, I appreciate what you've said :)  A vent is a vent, not a search for opinions on what to do. On a side note, I, too, think everybody is entitled to a major fun night out with friends during the wedding planning process because why the hell not? The guys get to have a party!

    Also, even though I think it's dumb to plan your own bridal shower, who the hell cares if it's rude? Especially if no-one knows that you're planning it? People get offended over the dumbest things. Is the etiquette police going to come? No. In my family, at least, people expect to give gifts and expect showers to occur. I'm already expecting some of my local relatives to ask my mom or me when the shower is and then say "what? no shower? That's weird. Why not?" right afterwards. 

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    maeday2maeday2 member
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    ld333 said:
    No worries @JessGuess23! Unlike the majority of people that critically nitpick every damn thing, I appreciate what you've said :)  A vent is a vent, not a search for opinions on what to do. On a side note, I, too, think everybody is entitled to a major fun night out with friends during the wedding planning process because why the hell not? The guys get to have a party!

    Also, even though I think it's dumb to plan your own bridal shower, who the hell cares if it's rude? Especially if no-one knows that you're planning it? People get offended over the dumbest things. Is the etiquette police going to come? No. In my family, at least, people expect to give gifts and expect showers to occur. I'm already expecting some of my local relatives to ask my mom or me when the shower is and then say "what? no shower? That's weird. Why not?" right afterwards. 

    The only thing my family "expects" is for me to get married to my FI. That's all you should expect, as well. 
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    fwtx5815fwtx5815 member
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    JessGuess23 said:
    @ld333 I'm sorry, that really stinks. You should get to have one, even if its a tiny one, like a spa day with your bridal party or close friends, or dinner and relaxing night at a house or hotel. And if you have to plan it yourself so be it. I agree, people need to suck it up and either come for you since you will be their family soon, or just not come but not be mean about it.  This is your wedding and you deserve to enjoy every minute of it!
    JessGuess23 said:
    @mikenberger I never said she SHOULD plan her own bridal shower or bachelorette party. So there was no advice given I just said she deserves to have one. All I was getting at was people sometimes suck and as a bride to be she has the right to enjoy what she wants to do. And let's be honest who are you to say what's appropriate? Maybe some people don't have or want anyone to plan there parties. Or maybe in her situation she has girls who are making it difficult to plan something.
    There's nothing wrong with getting your closest friends together to enjoy a meal + drinks, a spa day, wine tasting, etc. But the issue is the idea that a bride, any bride, has the right to pre-wedding parties and that she's being deprived of something if people aren't falling over themselves to plan and host these parties for her. 

    Since it's nobody job to throw a bride a shower/bach (because bridesmaids' "duties" aren't a real thing), it's perfectly okay if these things don't happen. And it's also 100% okay if a person who happens to be getting married soon wants to organize a social event that DOES NOT center around her or her wedding. It's called hanging with friends.

    A bride gets one day, and should definitely not throw a party in her own honor or commit any other similar faux pas with the "but I'm the BRIDE and this is my SPECIAL TIME" mentality. 

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     fka dallasbetch 


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    jltobe23jltobe23 member
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    I used to like coming on this website and talking to women who are getting married in my city, and getting married in the same month.  We are supposed to be talking to each other and supporting one another and all you are doing is nit picking, criticizing, and being nasty. I am sorry if you took my response to one person so literally.

     

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    novella1186novella1186 member
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    edited February 2015
    badbnagdway said:
    JessGuess23 said:

    I used to like coming on this website and talking to women who are getting married in my city, and getting married in the same month.  We are supposed to be talking to each other and supporting one another and all you are doing is nit picking, criticizing, and being nasty. I am sorry if you took my response to one person so literally.

     

    Don't feel discouraged. Here's the thing about these boards, at least for me. I would rather have a stranger tell me that what I am planning is going to make my friends and family uncomfortable or upset, and have my feelings/pride stung momentarily, than actually do the thing that makes my friends and family uncomfortable or upset. The thing about your friends and family is that they will not always be honest with you. I could do something totally rude -- like throw my own destination bach party or have a pot luck reception, and my nearest and dearest probably won't tell me how it makes them feel. But they still feel that way and it would still change their opinion of me.

    I know this from the experience of seeing friends do very rude things. I have in some cases tried to gently caution them not to do these things. When they have done them anyway it has made me believe they are very very selfish. 
    This. No one is trying to be mean. The point is to be helpful, so if that entails doing something that might be rude or a bad idea, the ladies here will call it like it is. That saves you from carrying out the rude or bad idea and potentially offending the people you care about. 

    We went to a wedding where the guests were very poorly hosted, and some very rude things happened. Just as one example, some of the tables had to be moved to make room for the dance floor (so the bride should not have booked that venue because it clearly wasn't big enough) and our table was on the list to be moved. A staff member came around and told us to get up before we were even finished eating. There was nowhere else to sit, so we all had to awkwardly stand huddled in the corner for the rest of dinner and dessert, and then many of the guests just left before dancing even started because they were made to feel so uncomfortable. 

    I would never have approached the bride and said, "Hey, we didn't even get to finish eating! That's so rude! I'm now side-eyeing your judgement and how much you care-- or DON'T care-- about the comfort of your guests!" But I was definitely thinking it, and I've definitely snarked about it on these boards before, and my opinion of her was definitely affected. So there ya go. 
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    amelishaamelisha member
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    badbnagdway said:
    JessGuess23 said:

    I used to like coming on this website and talking to women who are getting married in my city, and getting married in the same month.  We are supposed to be talking to each other and supporting one another and all you are doing is nit picking, criticizing, and being nasty. I am sorry if you took my response to one person so literally.

     

    Don't feel discouraged. Here's the thing about these boards, at least for me. I would rather have a stranger tell me that what I am planning is going to make my friends and family uncomfortable or upset, and have my feelings/pride stung momentarily, than actually do the thing that makes my friends and family uncomfortable or upset. The thing about your friends and family is that they will not always be honest with you. I could do something totally rude -- like throw my own destination bach party or have a pot luck reception, and my nearest and dearest probably won't tell me how it makes them feel. But they still feel that way and it would still change their opinion of me.

    I know this from the experience of seeing friends do very rude things. I have in some cases tried to gently caution them not to do these things. When they have done them anyway it has made me believe they are very very selfish. 
    This. No one is "nit-picking" (although I DID take what you said literally, as in assume you meant what you said...because why would you say something that you don't mean or believe?) they are trying to save other people from treating their friends and family badly.

    We ARE "talking to each other and supporting one another." Explaining to you why etiquette matters and why an idea is rude is not being nasty. No one called you names, no one put you down, they simply explained why the idea is a bad one. And strangers on this board have no reason to lie to you, unlike your friends and family who love you and want you to be happy even if they don't agree with you.

    You sound like you might be very young, in which case I apologize if my tone was too direct for you. But absolutely no one here wants to be mean to you, rather they want to help you. Honestly.

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    alechiatalechiat member
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    I helped plan both only because my mother and maid of honor live out of state. For the shower I picked the location and menu and did the invites that my mom is paying for and the MOH and bridesmaids are taking care of the rest. Bachlorette I picked location and gathered an amount of money we all agreed on to book house and rental car the rest I left up to them! I however never demanded or asked that these parties be given only offered my assistance
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