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Snarky Brides

Worst thing/biggest faux paux or mistake you've seen at a wedding?

hicocohicoco Chicago member
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
I am enjoying the topics with what people would have done differently, what sort of tacky things they've seen, what to avoid, etc in the hopes that I can stay ahead of the game and not make those same types of choices. Anyone?
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Re: Worst thing/biggest faux paux or mistake you've seen at a wedding?

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I am enjoying the topics with what people would have done differently, what sort of tacky things they've seen, what to avoid, etc in the hopes that I can stay ahead of the game and not make those same types of choices. Anyone?
    Tacky thing:
    I went to a reception where ALL of the seating had to be moved for the dance floor. Yes. All of the guests had to pick up chairs and move tables and then there was room for dancing. There wasn't a floor though, it was just open space in the room for people to dance by the DJ. 

    No thank you. Ever. In the history of Ever.

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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Many with cash bars but one actually had a cash bar during cocktail hour which was a first for me,
    and then one wedding last year with a 2 hour gap which was brutal because the weather was crappy and everyone just wanted to be inside the reception hall. Another wedding had a dollar dance. Another one had wedding party at the head table and their dates at the "singles table," that was actually awful.
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2015
    I didn't realize it until later, but I traveled across the country to a tiered reception.  About half the guests were invited to a cake and punch reception immediately following the ceremony, but then the other half was also invited to a nice hotel for the "official" reception.  My ex and I were invited to the "official" reception, but I would have been pissed to fly 3000 miles to be given cake and punch. 

    My BFF is in the midst of one of the biggest etiquette clusterfuck weddings I have ever seen, and it pains me to witness her planning it. Over-inviting for the venue without enough seating (plus open seating on top of that so people will hoard their seats), splitting up people into different rooms, and telling the groomsmen that if there aren't any seats they have to sit in the bar away from everyone else, telling a BM that she can't get a tattoo before her wedding (although she finally saw the light on this one after we had words a few days ago), registering for a honeymoon and for people to buy her different remodeling projects for her house, inviting people to pre-wedding parties that aren't invited to the wedding, cash bar, not having any contingency plan for inclement weather (with her venue that is already over-capacity with the mainly outdoor seating)....it's like she's trying to hit every etiquette faux pas in the book.

    Ooh, in the last wedding I was in, they had a "Honeymoon Dance."  I didn't want to because the wedding had been stressful and they're (money dances) rude, but my Dad wanted me to dance for him, put a twenty in my hand pushed me over to dance with the groom.  My BFF and I danced with the groom for fun for about ten seconds and then thought it would be fun to surround the bride for like ten seconds and dance with her.  So we danced over to her and she looked at us and said, "Um, you have to PAY for this."  My jaw dropped but I was so shocked at her rudeness I couldn't find the words to respond in the moment. 


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  • I was at one once where there was a cash bar - unless you were in the wedding party, in which case you got to drink for free.

    I've been to 2 that had 3 hour gaps. Ugh. The first one, DH and I went back to our hotel room and took a nap. Then I had to fix my hair and make-up again before heading to cocktail hour. The second I was a BM, so I was kept "busy" taking pictures, helping guests find the hotel shuttle, etc. for the entire time. No fun.

    I can't even tell you how many I've been to where the space for cocktail hour was way too small. Not only are you crammed in there like sardines, but every time there were not enough tables not to mention chairs, so you're constantly being bumped into while trying to hold your clutch, your food, and your drink. Also no fun.
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  • Not super awful, but my cousin didn't put the address for her wedding on her invitations. Just (Name of Church) (City, State). Underneath that it had "reception to follow at (reception place)". No address or city for that one- and I knew that the reception was in a different city from the church (I'm the only person in my family that lives in the area that both her and my weddings were in).

    She also had her wedding in a tent, which usually can be pretty nice, but it was almost winter in this area (last day for the tent) and it was pouring and you had to go outside to go into the building to use the bathroom, so that was kind of annoying. And wet.
  • Partial cash bar but my FI didn't know till he ordered a drink and had to pay

    By far the worse for me was going to a wedding with my FI in the wedding party and having to sit alone because I didn't know any one there.
    LizSielskiyankeefaniniowa
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2015
    Oh I have a few good stories! Bear with me as this is going to be long. 

    One of my good friends from high school was married this past summer. The invitation only listed a hotel as where the wedding was taking place. Oh, and FI's (BF at the time) name wasn't on it even though we had been dating just as long as the couple getting married and had gone on double dates with them, and would be flying across the country to attend. I asked my friend about this and he told me it was an oversight and FI was invited. Anyways, the hotel is known for doing ceremonies right on site and then having the reception there, so we didn't think much of it. Turns out, the hotel was for the reception only, and the ceremony was over a mile away in a nearby park. FI and I had to walk all the way there and just made it as the processional was starting. Many other guests came later too because of the confusion. We then had to walk back to the hotel in 90 degree heat and 100% humidity to find that the cocktail hour wasn't for another hour and a half. We had to go find the hotel bar so that I could buy water! When cocktail hour did start, we were crammed into a tiny room with no seating for anyone. After that it was okay etiquette wise, except that we never received a thank you note. 

    The most recent wedding FI and I attended was a few weeks ago. The ceremony was in a Catholic church, and the church only allotted an hour for it. The ceremony went a little late, and members of the congregation started coming in to wait to do confession. They sat down in the pews and many were giving everyone there for the wedding dirty looks! Then the bridal party was kicked out as soon as it was over, and didn't have time to take any pictures. Not something directly against etiquette or something that the couple could really control, but it still made many of us very uncomfortable. Then there was a 2 hour gap until cocktail hour, so FI and I went back to the hotel to start the party early with his friends and family. We get to the reception, and everything was properly hosted food and beverage wise, but the venue could not reasonably accommodate the number of people there. The dancing was in a room that cocktail hour also was held in, and the bridal party did their entrance into cocktail hour. Then we all had to make a circle in this area to allow room for the bride and groom to have their first dance. Only then did they allow us into the room where dinner was being served, and FI and I were seated on a balcony where we couldn't see or hear anything. We had to get up from our table to see the toasts, cake cutting, etc. It also took a really long time to get our food. So long in fact that I was still eating my cake when the DJ announced the reception was over. Oh, and they had a tiered rehearsal dinner/welcome dinner the night before with a cash bar for OOT guests but open for the bridal party. 

    And very recently, I dropped out as a bridesmaid for a bridezilla who demanded all of her bridesmaids pay for a 70+ person shower that she is planning. I was skyping with her and one thing she said to me was "Oh! I just got the shower invitations. Let me show them to you. And the best part is that they will only cost each one of you $20!". Never even ASKED if $20 per person (of her 9 bridesmaids!) was okay for the invitation cost. She also demanded hair, makeup, nails, and shoes to be very specific without planning to pay for it, never asked us our budgets for the dresses, and picked a pricey country club to have this bridal shower at and put a deposit down without even asking if anyone who wanted to host it could afford it there. 

    ETA: At the most recent wedding, because of the partial cash bar the night before, we weren't sure what the situation would be at the actual wedding and many of us got VERY drunk during the gap and cocktail hour just in case they planned to close the bar during the reception. 

  • APDSS22APDSS22 O-K-L-A-H-O-M-A is OK member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    A cocktail hour in which I got to stand outside in heels for about 1-2 hours in the middle of summer in Texas.  No shade, no seats and way too many people crammed into a courtyard feet from the air conditioned ceremony space that they pushed us out of and locked and the air conditioned reception space that was also locked.  Except for the bridal party because PICTURES.  It was also in the middle of the week so our friend group still talks about how awful it was.

  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    oh my gosh!! that's terrible..funnily enough, I was in a wedding in May and the head table had to be moved for the dance floor to come out and I thought that was bad enough! Don't make your guests do that!
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @peachy13, I saw a dollar dance once, I felt so awkward.
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @leviosaa I can't even believe that. Disgusting!
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  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    @courtneyhindo

    I couldn't believe it either!

    Also, Is that your real name?  If it is you should change it for internet security. 

    If you are replying to specific people you can either tag them or you can hit "quote."  The "reply" link is misleading. =)


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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @levioosa, tis..I never really thought about changing it! Something to ponder..I still can't believe your story!
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  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    @levioosa OMG! I can't believe the nerve of that bride! 

  • Array of cash bars, being invited on my parents' invitation as an adult living in another town, and a reception tent that would have been fine, except the sides weren't put down until after dark in unseasonably cold weather. The last thing wasn't something the bride and groom could control, but someone should have realized that when the temperature started falling before the evening ceremony started, it was only going to get colder as it got darker.
  • First wedding I attend as an adult on my own:  no SOs invited unless there was a ring involved, cash bar, huge gap, and the wait staff took far too long in calling the tables up, as in they wouldn't call the second table until the first had all returned to their seats.  Food was cold by the time my table was called.  When I went to the bar to get a drink, I had no idea it was a cash bar until the bartender put the glass in front of me and told me the price.  Ok, that was a surprise, but the worst part was when I realized I didn't have my credit card or any cash with me.  I was mortified.
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited January 2015
    At the last wedding I went to the bride and groom were doing table visits and never came to our table. Years ago, at a wedding I was a bridesmaid in, the bride and groom kept their guests waiting for over an hour so they could go have sex before the reception. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    onefootinthebayou
  • Years ago, I attended a summer wedding at the top of a ski resort.  We rode the gondolas up and it was a beautiful view.  What they didn't tell anyone was that there was a several hundred foot walk on a gravel path to the ceremony site.  The gravel had some really large "gravels" in it, and it was terrifying in heels. 
    After the hike, we arrived at the ceremony location only to learn that there were roughly 20 chairs for over 100 guests.  So we stood on the uneven, rocky ground during the long ceremony.  Then got to hike back to the gondola.  My feet were killing me and I saw many girls stumbling.  I was amazed there were no broken ankles!
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  • Oh here we go! I was asked last minute to be a bridesmaid in a high school friend's wedding.  I stupidly agreed and commenced to help plan her a shower with one of the other bridesmaids (also a friend of mine).  I was sad to learn that my friend wasn't going to have a shower at all! So we planned her one--made the majority of the food, rented the space, decorated, bought the invitations, made up games, bought prizes and bought thank you gifts for everyone who attended. The bride also insisted that I add her honeymoon fund to her invites. I really did not want to do this.

    No thank you from the bride ever came.

    Then her wedding.  So I guess the groom's mom was a beast and demanded a Catholic ceremony the night before the wedding and reception that the bride had originally wanted.  So the night before, they had a formal catholic mass and wedding ceremony.  After the ceremony, ONLY the groom's family was invited to the groom's mom's house for a dinner party. Bridal party basically just went home. FI and I were starving by the end of it and hit up some food on the way home. It was SO rude.

    The next day was the second wedding ceremony and the reception, which was much more laid back. They had tip jars out by the "bar" asking for money for their honeymoon. Their whole ceremony was like 2 hours late, and the caterer had already had the food ready, and by the time we got to eating, it was all cold BBQ.   Then because of how late things got going, by the time dancing started, it was over like an hour later.  We all ended up at a friend's house afterwards.

    Still no thank you note from the wedding either. 

    I remained shocked by how rude my friend was! I've always known her to be on the naive side of life, but I refuse to believe she's so naive that she could behave like that.  It was a complete disaster.
  • rcher912rcher912 Philadelphia member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    The worst thing is hard to choose.

    Very worst thing was a reception at a cousin's wedding.  (Second cousin, whatever) My grandma and cousin's grandma were sisters, and best friends. Went everywhere together. Shopping, Friday Bingo at the church hall, hairdresser appointments, never ending Yahtzee games. All the grandma things.

    Nice afternoon wedding, mass, cake and punch in the church rec hall. 

    There was no assigned seating at the reception, and when we arrived, Grandma (of course) headed to the table where her sister was seated, and sat next to her. Not the head table, which was elevated on a stage above the rabble to display the wedding party. One of the tables in front of that.

    So grandma sits, asks me (okay, orders me) to run over and fetch a cup of punch for her and Auntie Rosie, and I had barely returned and put the cups down when the mother of the bride appears (Rosie's daughter) and tells Grandma that she has to move, that this table is for family only.

    Grandma and Rosie were stunned. Just speechless, like they'd been slapped. 
    Auntie Rose offered to move with us, grandma said, no, you just stay right there if that's what your daughter wants, don't fuss, etc.
    Of course, by the time she got up, almost all the tables were pretty filled up, and we'd have ended up at separate tables apart from each other with people we didn't know, so Grandma suggested we just make a quick exit.
    My grandma was a tough old bird, and that was one of the only times in my life I saw her with tears in her eyes. Snubbed, insulted, and hurt at a wedding she'd been excited about for weeks. 

    (Fuck you, Auntie Dorothea. I'm still pissed.)
    NO. Poor grandma!!!! That's really...that takes the cake. That's awful.

    The worst I've encountered are serious gaps (3-ish hours, maybe more) and really awful, cramped can't-get-into-the-building cocktail hours. There was one where the ceremony was at the hotel, then we were kicked out of the room into the hallway so they could switch it to the reception - except it was just that, a hallway. No room for anyone and anyone who went outside was shooed back in because the BP was taking pictures.

    That was also the same one where our table was not called for the buffet...that was awkward.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    One of SO's former friends (we don't really hang out with them anymore since they got married) had so many etiquette errors (cash bar, SIX spotlight dances including a dollar dance, I was invited as "and guest") but the absolute worst had to be when the groom demoted his best man (who had been his best friends since elementary school) because he was in basic training and wouldn't be back until the week before the wedding. The couple said that he clearly didn't care enough about their wedding since he enlisted after they got engaged They were engaged for 3 years!

    Oh yeah, and they didn't tell him he had been demoted until the rehearsal dinner. 


  • wrigleyvillewrigleyville Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    Friday wedding, scheduled for 2:00 PM. Not such a huge deal there, as it was a close friend and worth taking the day off work.

    It was an outdoor venue (a park), and it had been raining all day. It was also freezing, as it was early May. In Michigan, that means the snow melted maybe two weeks ago. It was probably 50 degrees outside. They didn't have a tent or any kind of covering over the chairs. My boyfriend set his jacket on my seat so I wouldn't get soaked. It started raining again right before the ceremony started. One of the BMs walked into the middle of the aisle and said, "Can you all shut your umbrellas, please? They'll ruin the pictures."

    The reception started at 5:00, which meant a 2.5 hour gap. We hung around in the park for a bit, as it had stopped raining, but we were sinking into the grass. The B&G were taking pictures around the park, and the photographer asked us to "move along" so we wouldn't be in any pictures. (Before this, we had been walking around, making sure we were waaaaaayyyy out of the shots.) 

    We ended up walking to a local pub to sit and have a couple drinks before the reception. We didn't want to eat, but geez - a 2.5 hour gap? I was hungry and bored out of my mind. We were all snarking about the gap and bitching about how hungry and annoyed we were.

    The reception hall let us in at 5:00, but they didn't have any food set out. They told us they wouldn't serve anything until the B&G showed up. We were allowed to get drinks.

    The B&G showed up at 5:30. Dinner was served at 6:00.

    The reception ended at 10:00, and the B&G asked everyone to line up outside for "departure" pictures. So we all stood out in the cold rain for about 10-15 minutes while they took their time freshening up or whatever the fuck they were doing. They finally ran out. And I mean RAN. They dove into the car because (duh) it was raining. We saw them for about three seconds, as it was only 15 feet from the door to their car. I'm so glad we stuck around to get those awesome "departure" photos. :P

  • I went to a wedding that was supposed to go from 1pm to 1am but all they had was cake. No booze, no snacks, nothing. And then they were surprised that people left early and no one danced? The strangest part is that they had a seating chart and place settings and everything set up to look like there would be a plated meal when there was none. So we all sat down and waited...and waited...and waited and then the Mother of the bride informed everyone no food was coming.
  • Denise40Denise40 Montgomery County, Tx member
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Love Its Name Dropper
    I haven't been to a wedding in 3 years and it was my sons wedding. They had a dollar dance, which I knew nothing about. My daughter and DIL had a fight several months before and my daughter wasn't going to be in it until the last minute and only because of her brother. My daughter also just got a tattoo 3 weeks before, mind you in her outer ankle and DIL said she had to cover it because it would take away from pics! The only good thing was that it was an open bar that ex-husband and I paid for!
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @addiecake, that is so strange! and rude! I was in a wedding this year and our bride & groom disappeared for awhile and everyone assumed that's what they were doing, but honestly we have no idea where they were for that whole time period.
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    @ohannabelle, that makes me so sad for your grandma!! how did everyone act towards each other after that wedding?
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  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    majorkira said:
    I went to a wedding that was supposed to go from 1pm to 1am but all they had was cake. No booze, no snacks, nothing. And then they were surprised that people left early and no one danced? The strangest part is that they had a seating chart and place settings and everything set up to look like there would be a plated meal when there was none. So we all sat down and waited...and waited...and waited and then the Mother of the bride informed everyone no food was coming.
    Did you ever find out why they didn't serve food? For an all day event that seems strange to me.
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