No you can't bring your gun

majorkira

1/2 of my family is from the south and VERY into their 2nd amendment rights. Fiance and I live in NYC and are the opposite of a gun nuts. I'm usually OK with the guns but it dawned on me recently that they maybe planning to bring their conceal and carry to the wedding. I tried to bring it up gently but apparently asking them not to bring their gun makes me a "nazi". Under different circumstances I may just let it go and try not to think about it but my liberal/hippy California family and in laws caught wind and made it very clear that they would be super uncomfortable if anyone was carrying a gun. I am tempted to say if you cant part with your gun you are not invited, but I guarantee you that would cause a fuck-ton of family drama. What would you do? Anyone else have a similar situation?

Mostly I just feel like: WTF why do you need your gun??? Im insulted that they think there is any potential for my wedding to turn into a shoot out. This isnt fucking kill bill. 

AddieCake

We had a post with this same question a couple years ago. Any old regs around who remember my "Come to Snarky Brides Guns Welcome" van?!?!   Hahahaha!   Good times. 

justsie

Where is your wedding located? It might be too difficult if it is up north and your southern family is having to travel by plane to bother bringing their gun. Other options (btw totally not sure on the etiquette on this so knotties who are please feel free to correct me)

-Have security there requesting people to return their gun to their car if they see it on their person

-Check to see if your wedding/reception site has any stipulations

-Some states require that you do not bring in your gun if liquor is sold or the person is drinking, if this is the case you could let your OOT guests know the law since they might not be familiar with it and keep the alcohol flowing at your wedding

majorkira

We're getting married in the gun loving home state. Hopefully if the venue forbids it they will listen. My fear is that they are so worked up about it by now that they will bring them anyway to prove a point. They brought their guns to my cousins wedding and *were not* classy about it.

vulpiepop

Ditto PP.

The contracts I signed with my venues both specifically stated "no firearms". Check the contract(s) that you signed. If it's on there, you can use that as an excuse and even proof for them.

Security would be a good idea too. If they see someone with a gun, they should be able to stop them and ask them to return their guns to their rooms or cars.

In addition to the gun and liquor laws to check into, many states have regulations against guns around government buildings and schools. If you're getting married in a government building or within a certain radius of one, they wouldn't be allowed to tote their guns around. Look into it and make your guests aware of laws like this.

I think if most people are coming from OOT anyway though, they probably wouldn't bring their guns on the plane, but I don't know if they're going to be getting on a plane or driving.

climbingsingle

I think by law they won't be allowed to bring their guns to NYC. I could be wrong, but I was under the impression that out of state gun holders are not allowed to bring guns into NY.

majorkira

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

mrscaty

According to my H, who is very familiar with gun laws, NY does not recognize out of state concealed carry licenses. This means that if any of your family members are caught carrying guns in the state/city, they will most likely have their guns confiscated and be charged. 

Apart from letting your family know this and hiring security to pat people down, you can't really do anything else. Plus, if you did hire security, are those people going to be armed? And what is the consequence if someone is caught with a gun? Are you personally going to call the police to arrest your own family? 

In response to your in-laws, how would they even know someone was carrying unless they told them/talked about it? That wouldn't be wise considering the illegal nature of things if they do plan to bring them.

[Deleted User]

HaileyDancingbear

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

justsie

majorkira said:

We're getting married in the gun loving home state. Hopefully if the venue forbids it they will listen. My fear is that they are so worked up about it by now that they will bring them anyway to prove a point. They brought their guns to my cousins wedding and *were not* classy about it.

ETA: BOXES

If they are attending a wedding in the same state they have their license then they should know about that states rules/laws about guns and liquor and hopefully wouldn't dream of being in violation of those. One last suggestion could be to request your venue add that into your contract (since it wouldn't mean an extra cost or responsability to them they may not mind doing so) that states no guns on the premises. Then it would just be a matter of telling those family members that that is the policy of the location. 

southernbelle0915

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

I would be surprised if your venue allows it. If they don't, its not you being a "nazi", it's you passing along the message that they won't be allowed in/they'll be kicked out if they come packing.

mrscaty

southernbelle0915 said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

I would be surprised if your venue allows it. If they don't, its not you being a "nazi", it's you passing along the message that they won't be allowed in/they'll be kicked out if they come packing.

Here's the thing, though. How is anyone going to know they are packing if they keep their mouths shut about it? Unless they show you the gun, you aren't going to know it's there. So unless OP hires security to pat down guests, there isn't really anything she can do. Plenty of people walk around with illegal guns and most of them aren't caught. Unless OP is worried about her family shooting up the place, just reiterating that guns aren't allowed is going to have to be sufficient.

chibiyui

mrsgoldfish said:

southernbelle0915 said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

I would be surprised if your venue allows it. If they don't, its not you being a "nazi", it's you passing along the message that they won't be allowed in/they'll be kicked out if they come packing.

Here's the thing, though. How is anyone going to know they are packing if they keep their mouths shut about it? Unless they show you the gun, you aren't going to know it's there. So unless OP hires security to pat down guests, there isn't really anything she can do. Plenty of people walk around with illegal guns and most of them aren't caught. Unless OP is worried about her family shooting up the place, just reiterating that guns aren't allowed is going to have to be sufficient.

This.

Have security in hand to escort out any guest waving around a gun like a jackass, and hope the rest are smart enough to actually conceal their carry.

[Deleted User]

anniecm5

Let the state law take care of it in NYC. If you live somewhere else, I'd pass it by word of mouth through your mom/dad/whoever's side of the family they are on. It is, of course, your right to set any rules you want about what people can/can't bring to your party, no matter how sensible or how crazy your demands. But it is your guest's right to decline the invite if they don't feel comfortable obliging, and that very well may happen.

I am welcoming firearms at my own wedding but my friends are responsible gunowners and would not carry while drinking alcohol, which I'm sure many of them will want to do that night

chibiyui

anniecm said:

Let the state law take care of it in NYC. If you live somewhere else, I'd pass it by word of mouth through your mom/dad/whoever's side of the family they are on. It is, of course, your right to set any rules you want about what people can/can't bring to your party, no matter how sensible or how crazy your demands. But it is your guest's right to decline the invite if they don't feel comfortable obliging, and that very well may happen.

I am welcoming firearms at my own wedding but my friends are responsible gunowners and would not carry while drinking alcohol, which I'm sure many of them will want to do that night

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larrygaga

If it's not illegal for them to carry you can't stop them. 

How would you even know? They aren't supposed to be whipping their guns out everywhere. Conceal is supposed to mean something.

Although I am in favor of guns. You can't always trust cops to protect you, sadly. Also, HUNTING!

LadyMillil

HaileyDancingbear said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

Maybe they've been watching too much Game of Thrones.

phoxglove

I'll never understand the obsession some people have for their guns. Why would you need a gun at a wedding for crying out loud? As another poster said, this isn't Kill Bill...

...is it?

majorkira

LadyMillil said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

Maybe they've been watching too much Game of Thrones.

The venue has a shooting range and might allow guns. It is also been brought to my attention that even if the venue says no if state laws say wherever then they may be able t carry them there anyway.

majorkira

phoxglove said:

I'll never understand the obsession some people have for their guns. Why would you need a gun at a wedding for crying out loud? As another poster said, this isn't Kill Bill...

...is it?

or as another poster commented "this isn't game of thrones"

yogablossom

below. Just figured out how to copy stuff haha!

yogablossom

HaileyDancingbear said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

This. This made my day! HAHA!!

[Deleted User]

beethery

My dad is giving FI a .40 cal as a wedding gift. My mom had to inform him that he should give it to him before the wedding. Took my dad a minute to figure out why.

My dad is one of those people. I don't know if he'll be carrying at the wedding.

mikenberger

majorkira said:

LadyMillil said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

Maybe they've been watching too much Game of Thrones.

The venue has a shooting range and might allow guns. It is also been brought to my attention that even if the venue says no if state laws say wherever then they may be able t carry them there anyway.

You are getting married where there is a GUN RANGE but you're the opposite of a gun nut? And you don't want your guests to carry into the reception? But there's a GUN RANGE at your venue.

What? "I'm going to have my party beside a pool. But NO swimming. I don't like swimming." Does that make any sense to you?

tcnoble

I don't think people conceal and carry (specifically in this case to a wedding) because they anticipate a shoot out. But people also don't go to movie theaters and college campuses expecting a shoot out either, and it happens. 

If someone has their CCW then they can carry wherever they so choose - so unless your venue has a policy (which it sounds like it does not given that there's a gun range) you can pass by word of mouth you'd appreciate if they left them behind, but otherwise not much you can do about it. Trust your venue security to handle it if they become any shade of irresponsible.

APDSS22

If your wedding venue has a shooting range, you can hardly ask them to not carry if they have legal permits.  You can tell them the shooting range portion won't be open during the wedding (unless it will be) in case they were planning on entertaining themselves during the reception on the range.

Most concealed carry permit holders know the main thing behind concealed carry is the concealed part.  The other guests should not be offended because unless they're randomly going around groping people (which makes them the inappropriate guests), they shouldn't ever know if one is carrying.  If someone brandishes, you can make a judgement call on how to handle that.

Honestly though, not everyone with a concealed carry permit is a gun-toting wacko.  That's usually reserved for people who don't bother to get legal permits to carry.  That prejudice is always one that astounds me. 

[Deleted User]

ChemFanatic25

majorkira said:

LadyMillil said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

majorkira said:

I live in nyc but am getting married in the south where their guns are perfectly legal.

But are they allowed in your particular venue?  For instance, if I carry around a legal blade for self-defense, it's legal for me to carry around on the street, but could still be confiscated if I enter certain buildings because they have the right to say "no weapons" even if the weapon I carry is technically legal.  

I'd be amazed if your venue allows guns.  If it doesn't, problem solved.  Just tell your family they either leave their firearm behind or they're not allowed in the building.  

And get them a big bottle of chill pills while you're at it because how can a person be SO PARANOID that they think they need a concealed firearm to protect themselves at a WEDDING?  Like what, are the british coming?  Is a redcoat gonna jump out of your cake to tax you without representation? 

Maybe they've been watching too much Game of Thrones.

The venue has a shooting range and might allow guns. It is also been brought to my attention that even if the venue says no if state laws say wherever then they may be able t carry them there anyway.

Oy OP! I think you shot yourself in the foot with this one (No pun intended).