Wedding Woes

Snowy Monday

How was the weekend?

Friday was a blast dancing with my girls and the rest of the weekend was nothing remarkable.

I don't know how much snow we got, but it was heavy shoveling this morning. School is closed and I'm actually going to let the kids sled. 

Re: Snowy Monday

  • We barely got a dusting of snow here - it's sure been an odd winter!!  No real snow or super cold temps (except for just a couple days)..
  • No snow just super cold and rain.  

    Weekend was good.  Friday night game day had to be cancelled at the last minute and I was glad.  Stayed home and relaxed.  Saturday had meeting, Sunday had meet 'n greet with new group.  The even went really well.  Had about 25 people there, lots of new faces.  Positive atmosphere and people seemed to really enjoy themselves.
  • Less than 2" here but we had some sleet/freezing rain earlier and things are little slippery.  DH and I have had the cold/crud for the past week.  This weekend it morphed into the death cough.  We are both headed to express care for some stronger meds so we can sleep.  Ironically, I feel better than last week, but sound so much worse.  
    image
  • Morning.

    I just texted the Mr. that there is probably 1/2 a banana on the floor in Buffy's room.  whoops.

    Sat. we all went to BIL's new house to say hi, I promptly had an IBS flare-up and spent the time in their bathroom.  Whee.

    And yesterday we built basement shelving--I need to finish scanning books so my catalog is up to date :)
  • I got to see my grandmother, which was awesome.  When I walked in and heard her voice, I said "Grandma!" just like a little kid.  I felt just as excited, too.  :)  She is 98 now and still entirely lucid, with a good sense of humor.  She is funny and sweet and I love her to bits. 

    My mother, on the other hand, I am seriously starting to wonder about.  She can be very short with my grandmother, to the point of outright rudeness sometimes.  I wondered if it was just me, but on the drive home DH brought it up before I even said anything. 

    My grandmother is hard of hearing and not too interested in getting a hearing aid, so I can see how that would be frustrating at times.  But DH and I raised our voices a bit when we talked with her and we conversed just fine, it's not like we had to yell.  At one point, I asked my grandmother something, she answered, my mom said "She didn't hear you!" (as if my grandmother wasn't right there), I said, "That's okay, she answered my question," and my mom said "No she didn't!"  Uh...what?  (DH cited that in the car, he said "I don't really like the way she talks to your grandma, and I wasn't crazy about the way she spoke to you, either.")

    She emailed me this morning to reiterate how disappointed she is that we're not going to Disney, throwing in "I thought this was supposed to be a family trip."  Yeah, but it's not a family subpoena.  So I just pulled a WW, reiterated that it's really the best decision for the four of us right now, and then beandipped her. 

    In response to my bean-dipping, she wrote back that my aunt said that she is depressed about my cousin (the one with mental health issues, whose situation was what led to my grandmother going to stay with my mother for a while).  He was hospitalized again for hypothermia--they had him in a group home, but he left and spent the night in someone's car thinking that it was a restaurant.  This was in Green Bay, and he was only wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, hence the hypothermia.  My mother's response to all this?  She doesn't see why my aunt can't still take care of my grandmother, she thinks it would be good for my aunt, because my grandma "doesn't need much caretaking" and "it would give [aunt] something else to occupy her mind."

    Is it just me, or is that really cold?  My cousin has serious, health-threatening mental health problems right now, my aunt is understandably depressed, and my mother is all "I don't see why that means she can't take care of your grandmother."  And to give a little perspective, my aunt has four kids, and when they were growing up she was always room mom, scout leader, Sunday school teacher, etc.--she's used to doing a million things at once, so when she says something is too much for her, it's really too much for her.  I don't know, y'all...
  • I'm sorry Heffa.

    I'd say it's well past time when your mom needs to get some outside help in dealing w/ grandma--I know that I never found my gramps as infuriating as my dad sometimes did, if only because I wasn't having the caregiver burnout/"put in your damn hearing aid" moments.
    Heck, we had gramps get meals-on-wheels just so someone else interacted w/ him daily.

    Your mom trying to pressure your aunt into it is kinda awful though.
  • I can't remember if you ever told me if your mother was taking care of your grandmother.  Being a caregiver can be hard.  Also, the relationship between your mother and your grandmother might not be a great one for whatever reason and that makes it worse.  But, if grandma really needs that type of care and your mom can't provide it and aunt can't provide it, then she needs to go into assisted living.  Try to delegate it to someone who can't handle it and has said they can't handle it is terrible.

    It's not a family trip when ONE person decides they want to take a trip to a specific place and issue subpoenas.  
  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    edited January 2015
    GBCK said:
    I'm sorry Heffa.

    I'd say it's well past time when your mom needs to get some outside help in dealing w/ grandma--I know that I never found my gramps as infuriating as my dad sometimes did, if only because I wasn't having the caregiver burnout/"put in your damn hearing aid" moments.
    Heck, we had gramps get meals-on-wheels just so someone else interacted w/ him daily.

    Your mom trying to pressure your aunt into it is kinda awful though.
    Excellent point, and yet my mother works full-time, so she has a caretaker come in during the day to sit with my grandma, watch TV, feed her lunch*, etc.  So I get what you're saying and I agree, but she already has plenty of help. 

    After I read that email, I emailed DH to see if he was cool with us volunteering to take my grandma for a weekend or whatever.  I don't see that he wouldn't be, but I figured it was nicer to ask than tell.  My mother will fight me, but she might just go along with it--give my mom a break from taking care of my grandma (which of course, is NBD only when my aunt is doing it, according to my mom), and frankly it will give my grandma a break from my mom acting like a shrew.

    * ETA:  "feed her lunch" sounds more involved than what I meant; my grandmother feeds herself, but she walks with a walker so it's a lot easier for her if someone else does the prep work--heats up soup, makes her a sandwich, whatever.
  • VarunaTT said:
    I can't remember if you ever told me if your mother was taking care of your grandmother. 
    I can't remember, either--it's temporary because there has been a lot going on with my cousin, who is not doing well, so my grandmother has been with my mom for the past three weeks to free my aunt up to take care of Cousin. 
  • Morning. No snow here, or ever actually.  It is supposed to rain today, so there's that.

    This weekend was pretty good. Friday night we met up with my parents to collect DS after the Pro Bowl stuff. Ate dinner out and DD was that kid in the restaurant. Friday afternoon and Saturday I was irritated at DH. He has a persistent sore throat which he saw the doctor about, but then it came back. So instead of seeing someone about it, he prefers to bitch instead. By Saturday I was just over it and told him he needed to stop complaining and do something about it. Sunday we did a bunch of nothing.

    Everyone I work with it out of the office today for whatever reason. So I'm doing catch up stuff and watching TV.
  • no easy answers.

    But a break weekend sounds like a good start.  It keeps mom from playing up her martyrdom too.
    (
  • It's really hard growing up and realizing that your parents, while still YOUR parents are sometimes crappy people.  And it's just that (and I know my experience is coloring this, but for real).

    Weekend was hit and miss.  H worked pretty much all weekend, I tried to be the awesome wife, and I think I succeeded until....I laughed in H's face when he said "I want to start working out".  That didn't really make for a good evening. 

    Sometimes I'm a real bonehead.  *oops?*

    We both got up this morning to work out, so that was a success, now lets see if I can undo some of my bonehead-edness.
  • Snow? What's that? It's supposed to be in the 70s most of the week. 

    Weekend was ok - I got a massage on Friday, caught up with workouts from last week, and did a little shopping and cleaning. I also cooked a lot. DK was sick, so we couldn't do too much. He has that cold of doom that seems to be going around. 

    Next weekend will be busy, so just trying to get through this week, get my workouts in and not get sick. We're going to see Book of Mormon on Saturday, so very excited for that. We're also going to a Stupid Bowl party at the house of Wolverine's classmate - her parents are nice, so should hopefully be a fun time. 

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