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Give me Patience.....

This is more of a much needed vent. I posted last week about FI's cousins wedding in April. Well, we finally received the invitation (Yup, they sent them like 3 months out), and since it is an hour drive from us in Long Island, I thought it would be best to get a hotel room. I booked the room, sent our RSVP, and informed FI. So yesterday, FMIL calls him. We were chilling on the couch, and he was playing his video game, so he put her on speaker phone. I wasn't paying attention until I heard her say something along the lines of "So you're really not letting me stay with you guys in your room for B's wedding?" And FI suggested she get a room with Aunt J. FMIL responded "Aunt J is broke, she won't want to spend the money. Anyways, she'll probably go with her boyfriend."  Then she said something like "SIGH. I guess I'll call Uncle E (cousin's dad) and tell him I won't be going." FI didn't say anything. "I shouldn't have sent my RSVP in so early. Now I have nowhere to stay." Fi again didn't really say anything. "Well, maybe I can ask cousin F to stay with her." FI did not say much and the conversation ended.  I'll admit I was annoyed that she wanted to stay with us, but since FI did not ask me about her staying with us, I just kept my mouth shut.

A little while ago she texted us. I will quote word for word. "You horrible kiddies... how dare you not let me stay with you for B's wedding knowing I have no income...u can do hanky panky any time... LOL...after all I do for you and will do for you in the future...well u don't love me...you hurt my feelings!! YADDA YADDA. Anyway cousin F texted me that I can stay with her."

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Okay. First of all, FMIL never asked me if she could stay with us, and FI never asked me if she could stay with us. He made the decision, which is fine, it's his mom. If FI asked me about FMIL bunking with us, I was actually going to suggest that we pay for her room. I spoke with my MOH a few hours ago, and she made the suggestion, which I thought was a great one. The passive aggressiveness of the text just rubs me the wrong way. I am not going to respond, and let FI handle that one. Anyone watch Everybody Loves Raymond? Let's just say I know exactly how Debra feels.

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Re: Give me Patience.....

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    Oh brother... That is very eye roll worthy of her.
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    Oh dear god.


    If it is any consolation at all, you are handling this the absolute best possible way people like that can be handled: ignoring their shit and letting them have a tantrum and show their ass.

    I feel for you. If this is how she rolls you are going to have a PhD in Dealing With Difficult People by the time you're 40.

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    This baby knows exactly how I feel
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    Since she is so hell bent on us having kids (or her grandbabies as she loves to say) I should respond "Yea, you know, just working on those grandbabies!" Gag. Tell me about it, @KatieinBkln‌! And that will be one well deserved phD!
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    I wouldn't want an adult who still employs guilt trips as a communication tactic staying with me either.  Ignoring it was probably the best thing to do.

    "Hanky panky" is on my short list of words that make me feel icky, along with "moist," "panties," and "preggers/preggo."
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    uuuuuuggghhh that is so psychotic/ annoying. 

                                                                     

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    Holy shit that is annoying. That text is just gross. I'm impressed that you kept your cool and just ignored it because I probably would have said something to her that I'd regret. And really, with that kind of behavior she expects to be welcome anywhere, any time she snaps her fingers? Nope.
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    Woooooow. She's nuts.
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    Holy shit that is annoying. That text is just gross. I'm impressed that you kept your cool and just ignored it because I probably would have said something to her that I'd regret. And really, with that kind of behavior she expects to be welcome anywhere, any time she snaps her fingers? Nope.

    Im So proud of myself that I kept my cool! I guess she caught me at a good time- snow day from work.
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    Thats fucked up man.
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    levioosalevioosa member
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    edited January 2015
    What is she, fifty going on twelve?  That text was ridiculous.  I'm sending you a virtual margarita for dealing with that bullshit all the time.  image


    Okay, I lied.  I gave you three virtual margaritas, because that's how many you need to deal with this crap.  


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    Why would she feel the need to text you if she got the whole room thing sorted out? That would drive me crazy if FMIL or my own mom that.


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    Texting passive aggressively really pisses me off. She shouldn't have RSVPed until figuring out her room situation. She's got 3 months for crying out loud.
    This one time FIL, MIL, H (bf at the time) and I stopped to Lowes after having dinner out and when FIL got out of the truck he goes "now no hanky panky". I cringed. Still do. The last thing on our minds was sex TYVM.
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    Do people really think saying "LOL" in a passive aggressive guilt trip attempt softens the blow? 

    If cousin F said she could stay with her, she should be happy with that outcome and leave y'all alone. I'd be high-fiving FI for handling that landmine without me. 
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    You don't love her because you don't want to share a hotel room with her?

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    i would be pissed too. i would not want to share a hotel room with her period. just awkward more than anything.
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    I'm sorry that she's so crazy. My aunt will send me crazy e-mails similar to the text you received. I never respond and I just assume that she can't control herself.
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    Ahh! Good for you for keeping your cool! I don't think I would have been able to. Good on your Fi for not giving in to her passive aggressiveness.

    Formerly martha1818

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    levioosa said:
    What is she, fifty going on twelve?  That text was ridiculous.  I'm sending you a virtual margarita for dealing with that bullshit all the time.  image


    Okay, I lied.  I gave you three virtual margaritas, because that's how many you need to deal with this crap.  
    You have no idea how much I could use these margaritas!

    paperpusher, EXACTLY. It's as if she assumed that she would be staying with us, or that we would drive her home. Or, that she would stay at our place. Who knows. And why even go there, with the "hanky panky" bull crap. Our sex life is not anyone's business for crying out loud. 


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    Ooo what if she had used smiley faces with it?!

    You horrible kiddies :smile: ... how dare you not let me stay with you for B's wedding knowing I have no income...u can do hanky panky any time... LOL. :wink: ...after all I do for you and will do for you in the future...well u don't love me...you hurt my feelings!! :smiley: YADDA YADDA. Anyway cousin F texted me that I can stay with her.

    Nope. Still irritating as fuck.
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    Ooo what if she had used smiley faces with it?! You horrible kiddies :smile: ... how dare you not let me stay with you for B's wedding knowing I have no income...u can do hanky panky any time... LOL. :wink: ...after all I do for you and will do for you in the future...well u don't love me...you hurt my feelings!! :smiley: YADDA YADDA. Anyway cousin F texted me that I can stay with her. Nope. Still irritating as fuck.
    This made me crack up soooo much! I'm surprised she didn't throw in some smiley's in there!
    banana468 said:
    Just tell her that it has nothing to do with hanky panky but you have room clearing farts in your sleep. 
    LMAO! Not gonna lie, sometimes I do have room clearing farts when I sleep. 
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    Ooo what if she had used smiley faces with it?! You horrible kiddies :smile: ... how dare you not let me stay with you for B's wedding knowing I have no income...u can do hanky panky any time... LOL. :wink: ...after all I do for you and will do for you in the future...well u don't love me...you hurt my feelings!! :smiley: YADDA YADDA. Anyway cousin F texted me that I can stay with her. Nope. Still irritating as fuck.
    I work with someone who will make these really rude or passive-aggressive comments but put smileys afterwards as if that makes it okay.  They drive me nuts.  Fuck those smileys.  Fuck them right in the eye.
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    You have the absolute patience of a saint when dealing with your FMIL. Her text sounds verrrrrrry similar to the text that H got from my FIL about his bachelor party. These are grown adults with grown children - you'd think they'd know how to act.
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    I'd probably ask her if it was meant for someone else and ask her what she was talking about. 

    If she's this annoying about a hotel room (so fucking weird, btw), she's going to be a NIGHTMARE when it comes to guilt-trips/passive aggressive shit regarding grandbabies. I can't even imagine. Seriously. It's good you're showing her that's going to get her no where now.
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