No kids problem

Knottie6114769

I have, what I think, is a big dilemma.  I have a few guests with young children.  I honestly don't want children under the age of about 5. Now the biggest problem is most of the guests with the young children are out of town (across the country). Is there any solution to having the young children not attend? or am I pretty much stuck and have to invite them.  There will be I think 4 kids with this issue.

ShesSoCold

Knottie6114769 said:

I have, what I think, is a big dilemma.  I have a few guests with young children.  I honestly don't want children under the age of about 5. Now the biggest problem is most of the guests with the young children are out of town (across the country). Is there any solution to having the young children not attend? or am I pretty much stuck and have to invite them.  There will be I think 4 kids with this issue.

Send the invitation to the parents only. "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmo". Don't put anywhere that any kids aren't invited or "adults only" or anything like that. If they RSVP with the kids, just call them and say you're sorry for the misunderstanding but you cannot accommodate children. 

But also be prepared for them to decline if they can't bring their kids. 

[Deleted User]

ShesSoCold said:

Knottie6114769 said:

I have, what I think, is a big dilemma.  I have a few guests with young children.  I honestly don't want children under the age of about 5. Now the biggest problem is most of the guests with the young children are out of town (across the country). Is there any solution to having the young children not attend? or am I pretty much stuck and have to invite them.  There will be I think 4 kids with this issue.

Send the invitation to the parents only. "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmo". Don't put anywhere that any kids aren't invited or "adults only" or anything like that. If they RSVP with the kids, just call them and say you're sorry for the misunderstanding but you cannot accommodate children. 

But also be prepared for them to decline if they can't bring their kids. 

Yes.  All of this.

lyndausvi

adk19 said:

ShesSoCold said:

Knottie6114769 said:

I have, what I think, is a big dilemma.  I have a few guests with young children.  I honestly don't want children under the age of about 5. Now the biggest problem is most of the guests with the young children are out of town (across the country). Is there any solution to having the young children not attend? or am I pretty much stuck and have to invite them.  There will be I think 4 kids with this issue.

Send the invitation to the parents only. "Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmo". Don't put anywhere that any kids aren't invited or "adults only" or anything like that. If they RSVP with the kids, just call them and say you're sorry for the misunderstanding but you cannot accommodate children. 

But also be prepared for them to decline if they can't bring their kids. 

Yes.  All of this.

Yep.

That said if said kids are your nieces/nephews or even first cousins I would be inclined to invite them.  Most people understand minor immediate family being invited.

That is what we did. Having my siblings  attend was more important to me then having a completely child free wedding.   All of my first cousins were of age.

southernbelle0915

We had a kids free wedding - glad we did! A couple things you need to know about it though:

- it's against etiquette to split families. So if there's a family with a 7 year old and a 4 year old, you have to invite both of them or neither of them.
- don't put "adults only" or anything like it. Its rude to say who ISN'T invited. Just address to who IS invited.
- be prepared for push back and/or high decline rate.

One thing that struck me a bit about your plan is that I'm assuming there will be other children at this wedding - just not these 4 who are under 5. Technically you can do this, but if I were a parent who traveled from across the country to attend your wedding (to which my kids weren't invited) and there were a bunch of other kids there, I'd be pretty pissed. Right or wrong, this may hurt feelings. You just have to decide if its worth it.

pennydl

Another option, depending on your budget and venue space availability, hire a babysitter or two to watch the kids. Either in a different room then the reception, or one of the parents hotel rooms. My cousins did this. Their wedding was at a resort. They allowed children at the ceremony and cocktail hour and then the babysitter watched the kids in one of the parents rooms, for the rest of the evening. 

Knottie6114769

there are some kids, but most are older. There will be two small kids (ages 5 and 6) but I cannot imagine my wedding without them there.. they're actually the reasons why I'm saying over 5, because in all honesty, I would rather limit at a higher age.  The other 4 kids I have never even met. There will only be two other guests who will have children under the age limit, but it'll be much easier for them to get child care.

[Deleted User]

Since the kids belong to OOT guests, you may want to make the exception to invite their kids also unless the kids that will be there are in the wedding party or nieces/nephews. If they are just kids of friends or other family members, then you may want to add the 4 kids from OOT.