Pie-dea! ...bad pun...

augsum15

Okay so as I peruse through the internet I come across "interesting" ideas and concepts on various things as I do my wedding research/planning. I came across something once (which I'm NOT planning on doing) that I thought was kind of neat but at the same time slightly ....not ok? The idea was, having a pie/cake bar, but all of the guests were invited to bring a dessert they made... Sort of like a quazi-dessert potluck for the wedding. I'm curious what all you knottie's think of this? Again, I'm not planning on doing it myself, i just wonder how other people think this sort of thing could pan out!

ShesSoCold

Yes, definitely a bad pun. Aldo a terrible idea. No one should be asked to work or spend money on someone else's wedding.

southernbelle0915

augsum15 said:

Okay so as I peruse through the internet I come across "interesting" ideas and concepts on various things as I do my wedding research/planning.

I came across something once (which I'm NOT planning on doing) that I thought was kind of neat but at the same time slightly ....not ok?

The idea was, having a pie/cake bar, but all of the guests were invited to bring a dessert they made... Sort of like a quazi-dessert potluck for the wedding.

I'm curious what all you knottie's think of this? Again, I'm not planning on doing it myself, i just wonder how other people think this sort of thing could pan out!

Bad idea. Potlucks are never OK for weddings. Never ever. The reception is a thank you to guests for attending the ceremony. Potlucks basically say " bring your own thank you gift so we don't actually have to thank you."

Now, if you say it with poetry, then its less rude. /*sarcasm

climbingsingle

Bad, bad idea. Guests should not be asked to provide food for a wedding, and that includes desserts. 

mikenberger

southernbelle0915 said:

Okay so as I peruse through the internet I come across "interesting" ideas and concepts on various things as I do my wedding research/planning. I came across something once (which I'm NOT planning on doing) that I thought was kind of neat but at the same time slightly ....not ok? The idea was, having a pie/cake bar, but all of the guests were invited to bring a dessert they made... Sort of like a quazi-dessert potluck for the wedding. I'm curious what all you knottie's think of this? Again, I'm not planning on doing it myself, i just wonder how other people think this sort of thing could pan out!

Bad idea. Potlucks are never OK for weddings. Never ever. The reception is a thank you to guests for attending the ceremony. Potlucks basically say " bring your own thank you gift so we don't actually have to thank you." Now, if you say it with poetry, then its less rude. /*sarcasm

It's even less rude if you put signs on children and have them parade them around. 

[Deleted User]

I want to say there's a knottie around here who, in her home town, this is done.  It's like a non-negotiable.  Guests bring pie regardless of whether or not you have a full dessert bar all set up or not.  The little old ladies get the wedding invitation and start discussing amongst themselves how excited they are to pull out their "special wedding pie recipe" again.  I don't remember who it is or in which country it happens, but it happens.

Jen4948

augsum15 said:

Okay so as I peruse through the internet I come across "interesting" ideas and concepts on various things as I do my wedding research/planning.

I came across something once (which I'm NOT planning on doing) that I thought was kind of neat but at the same time slightly ....not ok?

The idea was, having a pie/cake bar, but all of the guests were invited to bring a dessert they made... Sort of like a quazi-dessert potluck for the wedding.

I'm curious what all you knottie's think of this? Again, I'm not planning on doing it myself, i just wonder how other people think this sort of thing could pan out!

You're right, it's a bad idea. Potlucks are never appropriate at weddings.

augsum15

adk19 said:

I want to say there's a knottie around here who, in her home town, this is done.  It's like a non-negotiable.  Guests bring pie regardless of whether or not you have a full dessert bar all set up or not.  The little old ladies get the wedding invitation and start discussing amongst themselves how excited they are to pull out their "special wedding pie recipe" again.  I don't remember who it is or in which country it happens, but it happens.

That's kind of what I thought, I have no intention of doing it, but I was interested to know if any one else had ever heard of this. That makes sense though, small town kind of thing where communities hugely help each other out. In that sense it's a really cool concept, in the aspect of the community voluntarily coming together, but no purposely asking people to bring stuff would be odd.

WhatawagSBNy

augsum15 said:

Okay so as I peruse through the internet I come across "interesting" ideas and concepts on various things as I do my wedding research/planning.

I came across something once (which I'm NOT planning on doing) that I thought was kind of neat but at the same time slightly ....not ok?

The idea was, having a pie/cake bar, but all of the guests were invited to bring a dessert they made... Sort of like a quazi-dessert potluck for the wedding.

I'm curious what all you knottie's think of this? Again, I'm not planning on doing it myself, i just wonder how other people think this sort of thing could pan out!

************************
We had pies and cakes, and it was great.

But not potluck. Guests bringing the dinner is an old village custom, and was common in farm and rural areas until mid- forties and fifties amongst relatively low cash income people, and at a time when those giving potluck did not receive gifts from more than a few of their gusts.

For an indoor venue with catered food, and the modern reality that most people do give a major gift and often a shower gift, potluck is an additional gift of time and money you expect from people.

Most inappropriate for a modern style wedding with catered meal.

esstee33

Knottie94002890

A friend of mine did this with her wedding just a couple years ago, and it was an overwhelmingly celebrated thing with her family and friends-- they loved bringing dishes to her celebration and took photos with their food and were happy about it.  I have seen a lot of horrified opposition to it here on the knot since I came here a couple weeks ago, but not everyone sees it as such as horrible thing.  For my family, I grew up in a rural area with a large close-knit family and my great aunts were horrified when I got married the first time that we had been planning to have it catered not them cook for the reception.  This wedding I am accepting the offered help of family in supplementing what we can purchase catered because our budget is small and our family wants to help.

wrigleyville

adk19 said:

I want to say there's a knottie around here who, in her home town, this is done.  It's like a non-negotiable.  Guests bring pie regardless of whether or not you have a full dessert bar all set up or not.  The little old ladies get the wedding invitation and start discussing amongst themselves how excited they are to pull out their "special wedding pie recipe" again.  I don't remember who it is or in which country it happens, but it happens.

If it's tradition in someone's family and the relatives make a thing out of it voluntarily, then that's not such a big deal. 

It IS a big deal when people ask relatives to provide food.

wrigleyville

Knottie94002890 said:

A friend of mine did this with her wedding just a couple years ago, and it was an overwhelmingly celebrated thing with her family and friends-- they loved bringing dishes to her celebration and took photos with their food and were happy about it.  I have seen a lot of horrified opposition to it here on the knot since I came here a couple weeks ago, but not everyone sees it as such as horrible thing.  For my family, I grew up in a rural area with a large close-knit family and my great aunts were horrified when I got married the first time that we had been planning to have it catered not them cook for the reception.  This wedding I am accepting the offered help of family in supplementing what we can purchase catered because our budget is small and our family wants to help.

There's a huge difference between relatives insisting on bringing food and asking relatives to provide food for the reception. We get "horrified" when people do the latter.

hellohkb

Love the pun, hate the idea.

atlastmrsg

Tacky.  No.  Potluck anything is never okay.