Rehearsal Invitations

Knottie08363462

I have a question for everybody.  If the mother of the groom is throwing (ie paying for) the rehearsal dinner, who sends out the invitations?  Should the bride and groom, since they're sending out the wedding invitations?  Or should the groom's mother, since she's throwing the dinner?  Or, does it have to do with how much involvement she has in the planning of the rehearsal dinner, (ie planning the dinner vs. handing us a check to cover expenses)?  Thank you!

novella1186

You give the MOG the list of people who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner and she sends them out. 

banana468

Knottie08363462 said:

I have a question for everybody.  If the mother of the groom is throwing (ie paying for) the rehearsal dinner, who sends out the invitations?  Should the bride and groom, since they're sending out the wedding invitations?  Or should the groom's mother, since she's throwing the dinner?  Or, does it have to do with how much involvement she has in the planning of the rehearsal dinner, (ie planning the dinner vs. handing us a check to cover expenses)?  Thank you!

Technically the host should send the invitations for the RD and the wedding too.   So unless you and your FI are hosting the wedding then they get sent from those hosts as well.  BUT, sometimes it's just easier to do it yourselves. 

MandyMost

Who's hosting an who's paying are not necessarily the same thing. If she is just handing you a check and you're hosting the dinner, you should send the invites. If she's hosting the dinner (regardless of the money, or even how much of the planning she's doing), then she should send the invites. 

marie2785

Do rehearsal dinners always require formal invites? I only ask because the 2-3 I've been to did not involve a formal invitation--I received a phone call from the B&G with the information (which was always followed up via email so I had it saved somewhere). I knew they were happening since I was in the wedding, the phone calls/emails just were to confirm date, time, and location. 

If I need a THIRD set of items to mail out (STDs, wedding invites I know of) I should budget for it soon since we're opening up the dinner to all out of town guests, so it'll be a decent # of invites...

Cookie Pusher

Formal invites aren't required, per se. I've been invited to RDs by phone, by email, with fancy engraved invitations, and with fun, festive invitations. Our RD was really casual so we sent out cute summery party invitations we found on clearance at Walmart where we had to write the information in ourselves. It matched the vibe we were going for (and cost us all of 3 bucks for 16).

charcoalandblush

marie2785 said:

Do rehearsal dinners always require formal invites? I only ask because the 2-3 I've been to did not involve a formal invitation--I received a phone call from the B&G with the information (which was always followed up via email so I had it saved somewhere). I knew they were happening since I was in the wedding, the phone calls/emails just were to confirm date, time, and location. 

If I need a THIRD set of items to mail out (STDs, wedding invites I know of) I should budget for it soon since we're opening up the dinner to all out of town guests, so it'll be a decent # of invites...

I've received two formal (paper, mailed) invitations for RDs out of probably 6 or 7 that I've been to. The others were just phone call/word of mouth.

ETA: I have no clue if they're required/preferred/necessary/what the etiquette is, that is just my experience. My FMIL is hosting and paying for our RD and I'm sure she'll want to send out invitations.

SP29

I think the invitation of guests to an event should reflect the formality of the event.

We invited our RD guests via word of mouth, or email. 

Our RD was held at my grandmother's apartment, with food made by my family (delicious!). We all sat around the living room chatting and eating. It was great. 

Knottie08363462

These responses are all very helpful.  Thank you!  I think I'm at the stage where I'll just ask the groom's mother to send out he invitations in whatever format she sees best fit - whether via mail, email, or phone call. 

hyechica81

we just let everyone know word of mouth who was invited to rehersal what time for church then dinner afterwards what kinds of food would be served etc 

WhatawagSBNy

novella1186 said:

You give the MOG the list of people who should be invited to the rehearsal dinner and she sends them out. 

Yes. She is the hostess, you only have input with the proposed guest list.

As long as any immediate family and WP participants are included, MOG may want to also include some out of town family of hers not on your list, especially if you have the rehearsal just before the wedding. She determines who these other guests will be.

This is the hostesses prerogative, not up to the B&G to decide.