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Ceremony and Vow Ideas

What date would be your anniversary

Okay. Due to the fact of how much it is a pain in the ass to get married in Mexico, we figured we'd just get elope in the US but then have a symbolic ceremony in Mexico. My question is if we were to do this which date would be your anniversary date, the elope or the ceremony
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Re: What date would be your anniversary

  • I would say the elopement date because that is your legally binding date.
  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mcneills said:
    Okay. Due to the fact of how much it is a pain in the ass to get married in Mexico, we figured we'd just get elope in the US but then have a symbolic ceremony in Mexico. My question is if we were to do this which date would be your anniversary date, the elope or the ceremony
    Do you need to get married in Mexico? If it's truly such a pain, why set up a symbolic ceremony there after you get married?

    Anniversary

    esstee33Maggie0829charcoalandblushOliveOilsMom
  • I just looked up the requirements to get married in Mexico... What's so complicated about it?  


    charcoalandblushsouthernbelle0915Bubblegum5586
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    The day you are legally wed is your wedding date.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    charcoalandblush
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    What's the point of having a fake ceremony in Mexico?
    The date you are legally married is your anniversary. Not sure what's so hard to understand about that.

    fwtx5815esstee33charcoalandblush
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer Name Dropper
    mcneills said:
    Okay. Due to the fact of how much it is a pain in the ass to get married in Mexico, we figured we'd just get elope in the US but then have a symbolic ceremony in Mexico. My question is if we were to do this which date would be your anniversary date, the elope or the ceremony
    Well the "symbolic ceremony" would just be playing dress up, since you would, you know, ALREADY BE MARRIED.  So I'm not sure why you would say that was your anniversary.

    Anniversary

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    fwtx5815esstee33charcoalandblush
  • Celebrate the anniversary of the day you were legally married and take a honeymoon to Mexico. Then you can get pictures and things in a beautiful location, but your wedding anniversary is the anniversary of your legal wedding. The events in Mexico would not be a wedding.
    charcoalandblush
  • esstee33esstee33 Pittsburgh member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    Are you going to be upfront with your guests who are spending thousands of dollars to travel to Mexico to see your "wedding" that you're actually already married and you're just putting on a pretend show for them? 
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    southernbelle0915slothiegalcharcoalandblushOliveOilsMom
  • esstee33 said:
    Are you going to be upfront with your guests who are spending thousands of dollars to travel to Mexico to see your "wedding" that you're actually already married and you're just putting on a pretend show for them? 

    This. As a guest, it's annoying as shit to pay $1500+ for nonrefundable flights and hotels only to find out after they're booked that the wedding is fake. I would know.

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    esstee33
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I don't get this at all.  If you want to get married in Mexico then do all the legal shit and actually get married in Mexico, because this "symbolic ceremony" you are thinking about is just a reenactment of what you have already done.  Seems silly to me.

    charcoalandblush
  • edited June 2015

    I'm out.
  • Your anniversary = the date you were legally wed. 

    If you decide to do this, make sure everyone you invite knows that you're already married. It's not ok to ask people to spend thousands of dollars and vacation time to attend a fake wedding. I went to a wedding in Jamaica and if I found out they were already married and just staged the wedding, I would not be friends with them anymore.
    *********************************************************************************

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  • fwtx5815fwtx5815 cowboys nation member
    500 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    The bottom of the Visit Mexico website (clicky) says: "Please also consider that if time is too limited to comply with formalities, you can have definitely a beautiful symbolic wedding by all means."

    Is that what gave you this idea? Because it doesn't actually sound like it's too hard to get married in Mexico. And -hold onto your seat for this shocker- the Visit Mexico site is all about promoting tourism which means you (and your invited guests) opening their wallets and spending money in Mexico. Just because they suggest you have a symbolic ceremony there, doesn't mean that it actually makes sense to do it. And the "pain in the ass" you describe would be more than worth it to get things in order for my wedding where I will legally become my fiance's wife. 

    But if you really can't bring yourself to do this stuff, then yeah just have your honeymoon there. You get 1 day for your wedding.

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     fka dallasbetch 


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    plainjane0415charcoalandblushOliveOilsMom
  • Your "wedding anniversary" is the day you're wed. 
    There is no "day we got gussied up and did a reenactment of a wedding anniversary."
    redoryxCMGragaintheartistformerlyknownas
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    mcneills said:
    Okay. Due to the fact of how much it is a pain in the ass to get married in Mexico, we figured we'd just get elope in the US but then have a symbolic ceremony in Mexico. My question is if we were to do this which date would be your anniversary date, the elope or the ceremony
    It's not a pain in the ass. I've had three friends do this in the last 2 years. None had any difficulty. You're not the first or the last couple to get married there. I would be VERY unhappy to be witnessing a recreation of a wedding that took place prior to my dropping, probably, thousands on a flight/resort etc. 

    But your wedding date - your LEGAL wedding date, not the fairy tale wedding - is your anniversary.

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  • plainjane0415plainjane0415 The hills of Tennessee member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    The bottom of the Visit Mexico website (clicky) says: "Please also consider that if time is too limited to comply with formalities, you can have definitely a beautiful symbolic wedding by all means."

    Is that what gave you this idea? Because it doesn't actually sound like it's too hard to get married in Mexico. And -hold onto your seat for this shocker- the Visit Mexico site is all about promoting tourism which means you (and your invited guests) opening their wallets and spending money in Mexico. Just because they suggest you have a symbolic ceremony there, doesn't mean that it actually makes sense to do it. And the "pain in the ass" you describe would be more than worth it to get things in order for my wedding where I will legally become my fiance's wife. 

    But if you really can't bring yourself to do this stuff, then yeah just have your honeymoon there. You get 1 day for your wedding.

    You hit the nail on the head here!  For my destination wedding, when I first booked our venue and spoke to a wedding planner, she told me that we would have to get married in the states prior to having our ceremony.  I thought that was odd, so I posted here on the Knot about it and everyone said please don't do this, your wedding planner is wrong.  So I went back to her and asked her about it and she said yes you can get legally married in aruba, but it's a lot of headache.  To which I said, I would rather have my ceremony and wedding date match up.  So she has been working with me  on all of the legal stuff to get married in Aruba, and everything has been fine so far. 

    Edited to remove last sentence that didn't make sense.

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    fwtx5815rcher912OliveOilsMom
  • Your "wedding anniversary" is the day you're wed. 
    There is no "day we got gussied up and did a reenactment of a wedding anniversary."
    Well, there SHOULDN'T be, but I've seen it. I know a couple who went to Vegas, came back "engaged" but actually married, lied to everyone for a year and a half, then had a PPD. They (okay, really mostly the wife, he goes along just to keep her happy) celebrate both anniversaries openly these days. Over the summer, it was "ZOMG it's our 10 year anniversary!!" Then in October, it was "happy 9th (+1) anniversary!"

    The fun part is one of their kids has figured it out and said 'wait, didn't you just HAVE an anniversary?" He's 5. 

    So I guess that's the way around the "which date do we celebrate?" conundrum. Keep being an AW and celebrate both! /sarcasm
    Bubblegum5586
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I don't even see how this question is confusing to you.

    What date are you getting married?
    That is your anniversary.
    Done.
    rcher912
  • This is reminds me of the time I was in a developmental psychology class when a student asked, "If you're born 3 months premature, what day is your birthday? "
    Someone once asked me what day their child's birthday was when they were born on a Tuesday, but it didn't fall on a Tuesday the following year.

    My ex fully did not understand this. He totally thought that every date fell on the same day every year. He was driving when we had this argument, so I couldn't pull out a calendar, but I tried to explain to him that 365 was not evenly divisible by 7 and he just refused to accept my logic. He was CONVINCED that Christmas is always on a Friday, his birthday is always on a Saturday, etc.

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    rcher912thespeshulestsnowflake[Deleted User]


  • banana468 said:

    This is reminds me of the time I was in a developmental psychology class when a student asked, "If you're born 3 months premature, what day is your birthday? "

    Someone once asked me what day their child's birthday was when they were born on a Tuesday, but it didn't fall on a Tuesday the following year.


    My ex fully did not understand this. He totally thought that every date fell on the same day every year. He was driving when we had this argument, so I couldn't pull out a calendar, but I tried to explain to him that 365 was not evenly divisible by 7 and he just refused to accept my logic. He was CONVINCED that Christmas is always on a Friday, his birthday is always on a Saturday, etc.


    Was he not old enough to personally experience that they changed? I'm trying to process that.
    rcher912AddieCake[Deleted User]
  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    banana468 said:
    This is reminds me of the time I was in a developmental psychology class when a student asked, "If you're born 3 months premature, what day is your birthday? "
    Someone once asked me what day their child's birthday was when they were born on a Tuesday, but it didn't fall on a Tuesday the following year.

    My ex fully did not understand this. He totally thought that every date fell on the same day every year. He was driving when we had this argument, so I couldn't pull out a calendar, but I tried to explain to him that 365 was not evenly divisible by 7 and he just refused to accept my logic. He was CONVINCED that Christmas is always on a Friday, his birthday is always on a Saturday, etc.
    Was he not old enough to personally experience that they changed? I'm trying to process that.
    Like "Today is Tuesday and my birthday is tomorrow which means it's SATURDAY!! Weekend!! WOOHOO!!"

    That's pretty dense. But then again, I had a boyfriend that thought Thanksgiving was ALWAYS on the 26th of November. Close. So close. 
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    rcher912[Deleted User]
  • Dreamergirl8812Dreamergirl8812 your closet member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Ok not calendar-related but I had an ex who called in to work sick on two separate occasions because he had stubbed a toe.



    Anniversary
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    JennyColada
  • CMGragain said:
    You get one wedding.  ONE!  It is the date that you are legally married.

    Having a fake wedding ceremony in Mexico that has no legal status is pointless.  It is not a wedding.  You are not being married, since that already happened in the USA.  Are you inviting guest to this fake ceremony?  Will they know you are already married, or will you withhold that important information? 

    What you are planning is called a PPD (Pretty Princess Day).  It is not well received here on the Knot  Please don't do it..
    Um do whatever the hell you want. If you want 5 ceremonies have 5 ceremonies. But to actually answer your question I would celebrate your elopement date since that is the day you became husband and wife and the other is a celebration with others.
  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer



    banana468 said:

    This is reminds me of the time I was in a developmental psychology class when a student asked, "If you're born 3 months premature, what day is your birthday? "

    Someone once asked me what day their child's birthday was when they were born on a Tuesday, but it didn't fall on a Tuesday the following year.


    My ex fully did not understand this. He totally thought that every date fell on the same day every year. He was driving when we had this argument, so I couldn't pull out a calendar, but I tried to explain to him that 365 was not evenly divisible by 7 and he just refused to accept my logic. He was CONVINCED that Christmas is always on a Friday, his birthday is always on a Saturday, etc.


    -----
    Is this why you broke up with him?
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