Dress Decisions... UPDATE

lovemesomemonster

I have gone once, found a dress I really liked but couldn't pull the trigger when it came down to it.. It was in budget but I guess when the reality set in on how much I was spending on a DRESS I couldn't do it.. It has been about a month and I'm going back with my MOH in two weeks to try on again and get a little more settled with it. The dress is a ballgown style (but not a HUGE one) and I like how flowy it is. 

Today one of my friends offered to let me borrow hers for free if I want to, no pressure, just a plan B to keep in mind. I have tried hers on when a friend of mine was thinking of buying it to see if the sizing would work for her. The only alterations on this dress would be the length and she doesn't care what I do with it. It is more of a drop waist, more form fitting but beautiful with lace which I love. 

Now I'm torn between which style and yes, I am thinking money as well.. what would you all do? I plan to try on ones that have the same fit as hers when I go in and the more poof ones I was leaning toward as well. 

Note: We have the money already in savings for a wedding that is over 11 months out so it's not like I have to budget, but the idea of saving as much as we can is appealing. 

WhatawagSBNy

You wear it once. Even if you have the money in the bank, if you would be happy with the dress, go with it. There will be places to spend leftover funds, always are.

atlastmrsg

Do you have any desire to do anything with it afterwards?  (Save it for family member, cut it into baby clothes, cut it into cocktail dress, etc.)  If so, you may want to get your own.

If I could've rented my dream dress, I absolutely would've.  I have no use for my wedding dress now and really need to get a move on to sell it.  It was lovely, but I don't want to save it.

lovemesomemonster

I have no desire to save and do anything with a dress after, I think that's where I freaked at actually pulling the plug on the price tag. Everything we do (buying houses, remodeling, buying recreational vehicles etc.) we always have a number in mind and end up spending less. I guess I'm torn between this "let it go, it's a once in a lifetime thing" and "it's one day for the rest of your life, you can save some money". By the time the wedding happens we will have waited 7 years for this.. her dress is beautiful and fits me well, just not the style I was thinking I wanted but if it looks good I'm thinking I can let the "other" idea go and save some money! Thanks for the advice ladies!

esstee33

I'm an exceptionally frugal person, so I would jump at "free dress" almost no matter what. 

Plus, you could spend that money elsewhere on things that would impact your guests' comfort instead, which makes everyone super happy. 

Starryfish

I would use her dress and then buy a short fun dress for the reception. Davids Bridal has a LOT of cute short dresses and most are around $100. 

[Deleted User]

Honestly, I would not borrow someone else's dress.  What would happen if the dress ended up ripped or damaged?  Would your friend be upset and hold you responsible?  Would that possibly cause conflict in your friendship?   Just a thought.

IMO, If you pick a dress because it's a good deal and because it saved you money, then you bought the wrong dress.   You should buy a dress that makes you feel comfortable in and that makes you feel beautiful first.    Remember you're going to wear this dress for almost an entire day.  You want to feel amazing in it.   While wearing this dress, you'll be the center of attention and lots of eyes are on you.  You want to look your best.   You'll also have pictures of this dress that will last a lifetime.  You want to love your dress now and in 50 years.   My mom settled for a cheap dress for her wedding 35 years ago, she says she regrets being so cheap now.  

No one says you need to spend thousands of dollars.  There are plenty of beautiful dresses at places like David's Bridal for a few hundred dollars. 

CMGragain

My sister was married in a borrowed dress.  After the wedding, the friend said to keep it.  I don't see any difference between wearing a borrowed dress and buying one from a resale shop.  Go for it!

flyingfoxes

One of my friends wore a dress that her friend gave her and loved it.  If you like the dress and your friend doesn't mind what happens to it, I'd say go for it.

lovemesomemonster

Thanks everyone! Great advice, she is sending it to me so I can put it back on, alter it, and wear it if that's what I decide to do! Shopping with MOH Saturday so I will have lots of options! It will be nice to have that one in my back pocket and when I asked FI what kind of dresses he liked he said I would look great in anything (awe) so might be nice to save the money!

amelisha

I would take "free" every time, especially because you actually like the dress.

doeydo

Personally, I would suck it up and spend the money on a dress I love.  I can afford it and after the wedding I could always sell it.

kvruns

For me it would come down to how much the dress matters to you and how mich you are saving. So if the perfect wedding dress means a lot to you and the one at the store is perfect then get it. If you are like me and we're kind of so-so about them all but picked the one you liked the best, I would consider the borrowed dress.

Another thought have you searched for your store dress used someqhere? Couid be best of both worlds depending on how much it costs to begin with

theartistformerlyknownas

I'm way too sentimental to borrow a dress. I'd much rather spend the money and know that it's mine and only mine. Everything about weddings is ridiculous if you think of it in "just for one day" terms but I will love that dress and the pictures in it forever. It was worth it to me.

lovemesomemonster

Thanks everyone. She is sending me the dress so I can put it on again and look at how much it would cost to shorten it..I am also going shopping with my MOH Saturday to try on others, if I fall in love with something that's great and I will go with it. I'm not sentimental about the dress, my FI always makes me feel beautiful and I know he will love whatever I wear (and her dress is beautiful). For me the most important was the venue I wanted because it is perfectly "us" and we got it, and I needed the food and drinks to be great.. when it comes to the dress I just don't have any strong feelings about it. I'm marrying the love of my life so if he is there it will be perfect I think that's why I was having trouble spending the money even though it was in budget!

lovemesomemonster

I decided to not have her send the dress.. I tried on more this weekend and while I loved the way the ones looked on me that were the same fit as hers they just felt too much like "summer". Since we are having a winter wedding I went with the first dress I really liked and I think it will fit the occasion great! I feel so good knowing that is done and I don't have to think about the money I "might" spend on a dress! Also might have found the bridesmaid dresses... what do you think about it all together?

My Dress:

http://casablancabridal.com/collections/fall-2013/500/#.VOIikfnF8ec

Their Dresses in navy:

http://www.billlevkoff.com/style/bridesmaid-dress/496

hyechica81

love both dresses and they def fit your winter wedding!!