RSVP'd For Kids That Aren't Invited

dandjariel

Hi brides!

I need some advice on how to approach someone who RSVP'd and said that their children would be attending...however, the kiddos were not invited. The invitation was very specific and only addressed to John and Jane Doe. Also, all of our guests received a link to our wedding website where it said that the wedding was not "kid friendly". I would love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she didn't read the site - but she mentioned it to me and said she loved it. 

I am just looking for some advice on how to approach her to let her know the kids are not invited. I don't want to come across as "bitchy" and was thinking of saying that I was sorry and I am not sure where the confusion happened but that we aren't having kids at the event. Thoughts? I had someone tell me they were going to bring their child instead of their husband, but they told me in person so that one was easy for me to head off. This one is a little more awkward! Thanks!

JK

esstee33

dandjariel said:

Hi brides!

I need some advice on how to approach someone who RSVP'd and said that their children would be attending...however, the kiddos were not invited. The invitation was very specific and only addressed to John and Jane Doe. Also, all of our guests received a link to our wedding website where it said that the wedding was not "kid friendly". I would love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she didn't read the site - but she mentioned it to me and said she loved it. 

I am just looking for some advice on how to approach her to let her know the kids are not invited. I don't want to come across as "bitchy" and was thinking of saying that I was sorry and I am not sure where the confusion happened but that we aren't having kids at the event. Thoughts? I had someone tell me they were going to bring their child instead of their husband, but they told me in person so that one was easy for me to head off. This one is a little more awkward! Thanks!

JK

Really the only thing you can do is call and politely tell her that you're sorry, but the invitation was only for her and John, and you won't be able to accommodate the children. 

Viczaesar

dandjariel said:

Hi brides!

I need some advice on how to approach someone who RSVP'd and said that their children would be attending...however, the kiddos were not invited. The invitation was very specific and only addressed to John and Jane Doe. Also, all of our guests received a link to our wedding website where it said that the wedding was not "kid friendly". I would love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she didn't read the site - but she mentioned it to me and said she loved it. 

I am just looking for some advice on how to approach her to let her know the kids are not invited. I don't want to come across as "bitchy" and was thinking of saying that I was sorry and I am not sure where the confusion happened but that we aren't having kids at the event. Thoughts? I had someone tell me they were going to bring their child instead of their husband, but they told me in person so that one was easy for me to head off. This one is a little more awkward! Thanks!

JK

You just need to call her and say that you received their RSVP and that you're sorry for the confusion but the invitation is only for Mr. & Mrs.  You hope they will still be able to attend. 

dandjariel

Thanks ladies - this is what we were thinking about, just didn't know if someone else had some sort of magical phrasing

lilacck28

Agree with PP. You decide who is invited to your wedding. It's awkward, but "i'm sorry, the invitation was only for you and husband" is the best way to handle this. 

But, Correct me if I'm wrong knotties but... isn't it impolite to include that a wedding is "not kid friendly" on the wedding website? You should probably change that, OP. Clearly, the people who don't follow the rule of only the people on the invitation are invited won't care about extra clarification anyway, and in my opinion, it just makes you look a bit.... bitchy (to use your word)/ uninformed to have that on your website. 

dandjariel said:

Hi brides!

I need some advice on how to approach someone who RSVP'd and said that their children would be attending...however, the kiddos were not invited. The invitation was very specific and only addressed to John and Jane Doe. Also, all of our guests received a link to our wedding website where it said that the wedding was not "kid friendly". I would love to give her the benefit of the doubt and say that she didn't read the site - but she mentioned it to me and said she loved it. 

I am just looking for some advice on how to approach her to let her know the kids are not invited. I don't want to come across as "bitchy" and was thinking of saying that I was sorry and I am not sure where the confusion happened but that we aren't having kids at the event. Thoughts? I had someone tell me they were going to bring their child instead of their husband, but they told me in person so that one was easy for me to head off. This one is a little more awkward! Thanks!

JK

dolewhipper

lilacck28 OP you shouldn't have that on your website. It's rude to point out those who are not invited.

As PP stated, you have pleasure of having that awkward conversation. "Hi Aunt Jane how are you, I just wanted to call because it seems there may have been some confusion on our invitation. Unfortunately we aren't able to host little johnny and jim, but I really hope you and uncle david are still able to come!" Get ready for hurt feelings, a bunch of "why's", and possible guilt trips. Happened to me. 

dandjariel

Thanks for the advice about the wedding site - I can change that. We put it on our FAQ because we were starting to get questions and we were trying to head off potential awkward conversations. Thanks!

zitiqueen

Are these your guests or your FI's guests? That makes a difference in who should be calling them.

southernbelle0915

"I'm sorry for any confusion, but the invitation was only for you and your husband. Please let me know if the two of you plan to attend."

aurianna

Something I did on the website was have something like this in the accommodations section of the website, "Should your children need to make the trip with you, the hotel has a list of recommended sitters available upon request."

It went into a gray area but I think it got the message across without a huge "Your spawn ain't invited, loser!" But everyone feel free to correct if that was too bad too.

We only had one write-in kid though! And I made the awkward phone call. And it was. But it had to be done because I couldn't make an exception for this kid when we hadn't invited any of the others.

Just practice once what you're going to say. Take a deep breath. Make a call. It will be over quick.