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Etiquette

Should I send my priest a Save the Date?

hicocohicoco Chicago member
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
My priest is marrying us and invited to the reception. Of course our wedding is "on his books" already but I wasn't sure if he should get a save the date since we are inviting him to the reception as well. My dad is friends with another priest from the same church and we are sending him a save the date as well so I didn't know if that would make a difference. Thanks!
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Re: Should I send my priest a Save the Date?

  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    hicoco said:
    My priest is marrying us and invited to the reception. Of course our wedding is "on his books" already but I wasn't sure if he should get a save the date since we are inviting him to the reception as well. My dad is friends with another priest from the same church and we are sending him a save the date as well so I didn't know if that would make a difference. Thanks!

    Why would you not? If you know he's going to be invited to both ceremony and reception, why not? I don't think it'll insult him (i.e. come across as "You probably forgot so here's our date.")

    I'm confused about the second priest, actually. You seem to be setting up his situation in contrast to the officiant priest. Do not send a STD to this other priest if you only intend him to come to the ceremony, but if he will also be invited to ceremony and reception, go for it.

    Anniversary

  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    hicoco said:
    My priest is marrying us and invited to the reception. Of course our wedding is "on his books" already but I wasn't sure if he should get a save the date since we are inviting him to the reception as well. My dad is friends with another priest from the same church and we are sending him a save the date as well so I didn't know if that would make a difference. Thanks!

    Why would you not? If you know he's going to be invited to both ceremony and reception, why not? I don't think it'll insult him (i.e. come across as "You probably forgot so here's our date.")

    I'm confused about the second priest, actually. You seem to be setting up his situation in contrast to the officiant priest. Do not send a STD to this other priest if you only intend him to come to the ceremony, but if he will also be invited to ceremony and reception, go for it.

    Sorry, I should have been more clear. The first priest is marrying us and will be invited to the reception, so I wasn't sure about the STD for him. The second priest is NOT marrying us, and is just invited as a guest so I knew for sure he needed an STD. You're right though, no harm in sending one!
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    hicoco said:
    hicoco said:
    My priest is marrying us and invited to the reception. Of course our wedding is "on his books" already but I wasn't sure if he should get a save the date since we are inviting him to the reception as well. My dad is friends with another priest from the same church and we are sending him a save the date as well so I didn't know if that would make a difference. Thanks!

    Why would you not? If you know he's going to be invited to both ceremony and reception, why not? I don't think it'll insult him (i.e. come across as "You probably forgot so here's our date.")

    I'm confused about the second priest, actually. You seem to be setting up his situation in contrast to the officiant priest. Do not send a STD to this other priest if you only intend him to come to the ceremony, but if he will also be invited to ceremony and reception, go for it.

    Sorry, I should have been more clear. The first priest is marrying us and will be invited to the reception, so I wasn't sure about the STD for him. The second priest is NOT marrying us, and is just invited as a guest so I knew for sure he needed an STD. You're right though, no harm in sending one!

    Sidebar: Are you having a Catholic wedding, and is it a Mass?

    If so: In general, priests aren't supposed to just "attend" Mass, so your priest guest may feel the need to concelebrate. Your officiant priest would still be the one helping you with your vows, giving the homily, etc, but the other priest will likely be up there in vestments the whole time and would concelebrate the Eucharist portion. If it's just a rite of marriage outside Mass, he won't have an issue just being a guest.

    Anniversary

  • hicocohicoco Chicago member
    100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Hmm I didn't know that! That's a good point. Yes, it is a Catholic wedding with a full mass. I guess the 2 of them would probably work that out? I didn't even think about it!
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  • flantasticflantastic The Midwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    hicoco said:
    Hmm I didn't know that! That's a good point. Yes, it is a Catholic wedding with a full mass. I guess the 2 of them would probably work that out? I didn't even think about it!
    Oh yeah, it won't be a big deal. The other priest wouldn't have to be at the rehearsal or anything. They know how to do it. I had 4 priests up on the altar for my wedding and our officiant hadn't met any of them until they showed up to Mass.

    Anniversary

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