Registry and Inserts

ohannabelle

jkingley2015 said:

I guess to me this just seems like a silly little thing. I feel like people are too sensitive when it comes to weddings. Anything you do with a wedding is "rude" and other people don't like it if they are not the center of attention and if someone else is they become babies no matter what the issue is. 

Irony. 

Maggie0829

OP, please tell me exactly where a poster attacked you because I am really curious what you think that word means.

MairePoppy

No one attacked you. You asked questions and received answers and explanations. They weren't the answers you wanted. That doesn't constitute an attack.

lyndausvi

What is with people asking questions and then getting mad at the answers?

With the exception of showers were they sole purpose is to shower the bride with gifts, one should never gently remind people where to buy gifts they are not even required to give.

Say you are Christian and you invited someone to Christmas dinner, would you also say "BTW I'm registered at Amazon?".   Christmas is generally a gift giving event, so what's the problem?  No you would not.  IF they ask for suggestion then you can tell them.   Until then you do to mention gifts.  

Just because you (general you) are wedding couple doesn't mean basic things do not apply.   

Viczaesar

jkingley2015 said:

So then why isn't it a standard thing for an invite, as a guest you are expect to bring a gift.  That's why this is so silly. Its not like I am printing it on the invite itself, its just an insert. 

No, they're not expected to bring a gift.  They may choose to, but it should not be an expectation.  Putting registry information on your invitation makes it look like you expect them to bring a gift, which is exactly why it's rude and inappropriate.

mikenberger

ohannabelle

Okay. I'm going to give a big Girl Scout try for logic, here.

Written communication is no different than spoken communication. 

Would you walk up to someone and say, "Friend! Come to my party. I want presents, and this is where I want you to buy them!"

No. No sane adult behaves like that. (Four year olds might, but they'll learn not to act like greedy pigs, with time.) 

You'd say, "Friend- please come to my party."

Friend might say, "Is there any particular gift you want or need?"

You'd say, Thank you, and direct them to your gift list or registry.

It works exactly the same in writing as in person. 

Not arbitrary invented rules, but basic rules of decent adult behavior that keep you from looking like a greedy four year old.  Or an ass. 

That's why the rule of adult behavior is you don't bring up the subject of what someone might give you unless they bring it up.