Gofundme For Weddings...UGH!!

vulpiepop

I was listening to the radio while I was commuting to work today and this talk show started talking about Gofundme for weddings. He was suggesting all sorts of "unique" and "clever" ways to use gofundme to pay for your wedding, going so far as to suggest the "prizes" for contributions. He suggested things like $30 for a thank you card, $250 to pick one of their photos to put in their slideshow, $500 to have a slice of cake, $1000 for an invitation, etc. Right, like I'd pay $1000 to sit at a table tucked away in the corner of a stranger's wedding. And then they put on a couple that advertised that they actually paid for their entire wedding and honeymoon via Gofundme! It was ridiculously cringe-worthy! NO! Just so much no!

wrigleyville

I should not have to pay someone thirty fucking dollars for a thank you card that I should be getting ANYWAY.

hellopig

If you give them $30 for a thank-you card (which I assume is for giving a gift), will they also send you a thank-you for your $30? Or does that cost extra? What a vicious cycle.

Kahlyla

Sweet merciful crap.

lifeisajourney

I have an acquaintance that posted a gofundme account for her wedding on facebook. They are asking for $5,000 because "weddings are expensive and they know all of their friends and family want to be there for their big day" They posed this back in November. So far they have raised $0

ChemFanatic25

lifeisajourney said:

I have an acquaintance that posted a gofundme account for her wedding on facebook. They are asking for $5,000 because "weddings are expensive and they know all of their friends and family want to be there for their big day" They posed this back in November. So far they have raised $0

Ouch . . . maybe they should take a hint. It's so tacky.

southernbelle0915

lifeisajourney said:

I have an acquaintance that posted a gofundme account for her wedding on facebook. They are asking for $5,000 because "weddings are expensive and they know all of their friends and family want to be there for their big day" They posed this back in November. So far they have raised $0

Good.

I hope anyone considering gofundme for their wedding sees this. Not only do you get $0, but everyone rolls their eyes, judges hard, and doesn't forget...

[Deleted User]

ChemFanatic25 said:

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lifeisajourney said:

I have an acquaintance that posted a gofundme account for her wedding on facebook. They are asking for $5,000 because "weddings are expensive and they know all of their friends and family want to be there for their big day" They posed this back in November. So far they have raised $0

Ouch . . . maybe they should take a hint. It's so tacky.

I have a couple friendly acquaintances who had a gofundme for their adoption fund.  Now, I am all for adoption, and I'm sure these two will make amazing parents, but I just couldn't get behind asking people to help them have a kid.  Someone can throw them a shower once they know what age kid they're getting so they can get the necessities, but I don't see how getting cash through a gofundme site is going to work.

mikenberger

I have effectively spent the last 10mins browsing the gofundme.com site for keyword "wedding".

Wow. 

1- I need more work to do

2- There are far too many people that find this acceptable.

NoneForUs

GoFundMe is a sign of how entitlement issues are running this world.

Whatever happened to couples paying for their own weddings like independent adults? 

Cookie Pusher

NoneForUs said:

GoFundMe is a sign of how entitlement issues are running this world.

Whatever happened to couples paying for their own weddings like independent adults? 

Because every woman DESERVES the wedding they've been dreaming of since they were little girls!

NoneForUs

Cookie Pusher said:

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NoneForUs said:

GoFundMe is a sign of how entitlement issues are running this world.

Whatever happened to couples paying for their own weddings like independent adults? 

Because every woman DESERVES the wedding they've been dreaming of since they were little girls!

This is what happens when generations are raised on Disney movie fallacies. 

Too many women focus on the wedding and not the marriage. I have two cousins who paid over 20K for their weddings. They married the same year as my husband and I. Both of them were separated before their first anniversaries. 

I never understood dreaming of a wedding since childhood. I was a girly little diva as a child but I still never thought about my wedding until I was engaged to my husband. 

[Deleted User]

After reading this thread, I too went to go snoop on "Wedding" gofundme accounts. 

Gonna leave this gem right here:

This honestly started out as a silly joke, then we said "what the heck, lets see what happens" 
I never thought we would make it to $100, but we hit our goal of $500 in TWO DAYS!! 
So, what's next? We gotta try to up that goal!! If we hit $1000 we will be able to really start picking more of our favorite choices and less of our "well, we can afford that one" choices...

NoneForUs

@jenandtonic81515 I went to that GoFundMe category too. 

A couple wants to "save their wedding" because the fiance lost his job:

"Some may ask why we don't just cancel the wedding or postpone. The answer is simple. There are too many wheels turning at this point as well as we could lose our deposit for the venue which is already paid for. Guests have bought plane tickets and reserved hotel rooms as well. 

Brian and I are not the type to ask for assistance like this. We just want to provide a lovely ceremony and reception for family and a few very close friends. We have gone over and over our budget and guest list and have taken out everything we can in order to drop our budget."

Hmmm...if they are asking strangers for money, they are actually the types to ask for assistance. Seems like there are a lot of couples on GoFundMe who are in denial about their tendencies to beg. 

Here's another great GoBegMe page:

Hi there, my name is Merrissa.
My fiance, Michael, and I met in middle school. And here we are, seven years later and planning a beautiful wedding! (June 2015!)

I picked out my dress on February 5th, 2015. And although it is a lot cheaper than most of the dresses I've seen prices for, I'm still going to need a bit of help to pay for it. Unfortunately, I was between sizes, and had to order a size larger to get it altered. Which will add a couple more hundred dollars into the cost. 

The good news? I was able to apply for a David's Bridal store card, and place my dress order with that. With such short notice, that was my only option in order for them to order the dress on the spot. So that it will be ready in time for our wedding in June. The card is 6 months interest free, so with a little bit of help and support, as well as working for money, I should be able to pay it off before it starts to gain interest.

~ The dress (with slip) was $956.
~ Alterations about $300-$400.
~ Discounted preservation and cleaning $99 (Originally $190)

***Total $1355 ($1455 maximum)***

More good news: I have a $50 gift card from a bridal show, so that will be my first payment.

I set my goal for this gofundme at $1500, because that is the credit limit of my David's Bridal card. I don't expect that much from you all, but every little bit will definitely help us out!

Thank You!!!

Why couldn't this broad just buy a cheaper gown? There are PLENTY of beautiful gowns at DB which cost less than $956. My wedding gown only cost $700; my husband and I paid for it. I stayed within a budget that we could afford, instead of begging others to buy my wedding gown. 

onefootinthebayou

NoneForUs said:

@jenandtonic81515 I went to that GoFundMe category too. 

A couple wants to "save their wedding" because the fiance lost his job:

"Some may ask why we don't just cancel the wedding or postpone. The answer is simple. There are too many wheels turning at this point as well as we could lose our deposit for the venue which is already paid for. Guests have bought plane tickets and reserved hotel rooms as well. 

Brian and I are not the type to ask for assistance like this. We just want to provide a lovely ceremony and reception for family and a few very close friends. We have gone over and over our budget and guest list and have taken out everything we can in order to drop our budget."

Hmmm...if they are asking strangers for money, they are actually the types to ask for assistance. Seems like there are a lot of couples on GoFundMe who are in denial about their tendencies to beg. 

Here's another great GoBegMe page:

Hi there, my name is Merrissa.
My fiance, Michael, and I met in middle school. And here we are, seven years later and planning a beautiful wedding! (June 2015!)

I picked out my dress on February 5th, 2015. And although it is a lot cheaper than most of the dresses I've seen prices for, I'm still going to need a bit of help to pay for it. Unfortunately, I was between sizes, and had to order a size larger to get it altered. Which will add a couple more hundred dollars into the cost. 

The good news? I was able to apply for a David's Bridal store card, and place my dress order with that. With such short notice, that was my only option in order for them to order the dress on the spot. So that it will be ready in time for our wedding in June. The card is 6 months interest free, so with a little bit of help and support, as well as working for money, I should be able to pay it off before it starts to gain interest.

~ The dress (with slip) was $956.
~ Alterations about $300-$400.
~ Discounted preservation and cleaning $99 (Originally $190)

***Total $1355 ($1455 maximum)***

More good news: I have a $50 gift card from a bridal show, so that will be my first payment.

I set my goal for this gofundme at $1500, because that is the credit limit of my David's Bridal card. I don't expect that much from you all, but every little bit will definitely help us out!

Thank You!!!

Why couldn't this broad just buy a cheaper gown? There are PLENTY of beautiful gowns at DB which cost less than $956. My wedding gown only cost $700; my husband and I paid for it. I stayed within a budget that we could afford, instead of begging others to buy my wedding gown. 

Entitlement at its worst. My close friend found her dress on eBay for $50. She looked stunning. What bothers me most about this Internet begging is that they don't even know how heinous what they are doing actually is.

charcoalandblush

"Thanks everyone for helping to support me and Saada in our wedding. It's really important for anyone who knows us to have a great wedding. We truly do appreciate the help from everyone and we are not ashamed to ask for help when we know we need it! Pride is not in our way! Thanks and we hope to see you June 28th."   Neither are manners or common sense, apparently.

"So I Feel akward doing this but I thought id give it a go.We dont want a crazy wedding just something simple and fun for us and the guests. We'd be thankful for  even .25 cents, we are just trying not to put finacial stress on our parents. thank you " That's because it's a terrible fucking idea

"Hey guys. As you may know already Richie and I are getting married in less than two months(started planning only a few weeks ago). We're finding out out that things cost a lot more than we planned for!"  That sounds like a personal problem to me.

lnixon8

charcoalandblush said:

"Thanks everyone for helping to support me and Saada in our wedding. It's really important for anyone who knows us to have a great wedding. We truly do appreciate the help from everyone and we are not ashamed to ask for help when we know we need it! Pride is not in our way! Thanks and we hope to see you June 28th."   Neither are manners or common sense, apparently.

"So I Feel akward doing this but I thought id give it a go.We dont want a crazy wedding just something simple and fun for us and the guests. We'd be thankful for  even .25 cents, we are just trying not to put finacial stress on our parents. thank you " That's because it's a terrible fucking idea

"Hey guys. As you may know already Richie and I are getting married in less than two months(started planning only a few weeks ago). We're finding out out that things cost a lot more than we planned for!"  That sounds like a personal problem to me.

"We are just trying not to put financial stress on our parents? Oh how nice of you! Bleehhhh.

thisismynickname2

charcoalandblush said:

"Hey guys. As you may know already Richie and I are getting married in less than two months(started planning only a few weeks ago). We're finding out out that things cost a lot more than we planned for!"  That sounds like a personal problem to me.

I heard that exact same line from a (former) friend after she got knocked up sleeping with a guy she'd met that night. In the end, they ended up getting married after having the baby, so that's nice. But anywho, her baby website begged for big gifts and said exactly that: "We're finding out that baby things are a lot more expensive than we thought...."  Tacky as shit. 

........................

Guess what doesn't cost a lot?  A courthouse wedding. 

mikenberger

I think the "worst" ones that I saw were along the lines of "I'm marrying my Princess and I want to give her the wedding of her dreams! Our love is the kind of love that songs and poetry is written about! Please donate to my love's dream wedding!"

Get a second job. Get a third job. Don't be a dipshit there Shakespere. 

NoneForUs

@onefootinthebayouEXACTLY. There are so many inexpensive options for someone who can't afford a wedding gown. Your friend is a bargain hunter like me. I think that's amazing!

NoneForUs

mikenberger said:

I think the "worst" ones that I saw were along the lines of "I'm marrying my Princess and I want to give her the wedding of her dreams! Our love is the kind of love that songs and poetry is written about! Please donate to my love's dream wedding!"

Get a second job. Get a third job. Don't be a dipshit there Shakespere. 

He could also just tell his "princess" to stop pretending she deserves a certain wedding. 

Honestly, when I hear of things like this I wonder if the men do not see entitlement issues as a huge red flag. There's nothing wrong with wanting luxury items or a beautiful wedding but nobody "deserves" those things. 

novella1186

thisismynickname said:

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charcoalandblush said:

"Hey guys. As you may know already Richie and I are getting married in less than two months(started planning only a few weeks ago). We're finding out out that things cost a lot more than we planned for!"  That sounds like a personal problem to me.

I heard that exact same line from a (former) friend after she got knocked up sleeping with a guy she'd met that night. In the end, they ended up getting married after having the baby, so that's nice. But anywho, her baby website begged for big gifts and said exactly that: "We're finding out that baby things are a lot more expensive than we thought...."  Tacky as shit. 

........................

Guess what doesn't cost a lot?  A courthouse wedding. 

Or a condom. Just saying. 

twoleighs

Reading those is addicting.  Some people. 

At the bottom of the description (which had a section for the bride, groom, and this was the Mr. and Mrs. part:

"We are getting married on February 21, 2015! We need all the help that we can get to pay for our wedding ceremony, reception, and honeymoon. Instead of a wedding registry, please support us with a monetary gift of any amount to help fund the wedding and honeymoon. If you are able, please give a gift of at least $20. We need all of the help we can get! Thank you for being a part of our special day!"

One of the updates: "I would like for all of my Facebook friends to give ! I have over a thousand friends and if each person contributed we would exceed our goal! Love ya!"

Goal is $6,500.  Raised almost 1k.  Wedding is next week.  Uh. Oh. 

And thanks to y'all and this thread, now I know what I'm doing for the rest of the day

thisismynickname2

novella1186 said:

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thisismynickname said:

charcoalandblush said:

"Hey guys. As you may know already Richie and I are getting married in less than two months(started planning only a few weeks ago). We're finding out out that things cost a lot more than we planned for!"  That sounds like a personal problem to me.

I heard that exact same line from a (former) friend after she got knocked up sleeping with a guy she'd met that night. In the end, they ended up getting married after having the baby, so that's nice. But anywho, her baby website begged for big gifts and said exactly that: "We're finding out that baby things are a lot more expensive than we thought...."  Tacky as shit. 

........................

Guess what doesn't cost a lot?  A courthouse wedding. 

Or a condom. Just saying. 

I actually almost wrote that, lol, but I have another friend with an oops-baby and for them, the condom failed. She couldn't be on hormonal birth control due to some health reason. But I think the selfish couple in question actually didn't use ANY birth control, because the woman's doctor had once told her that due to medical issues her odds of getting pregnant were slim to none. SURPRISE! 

tammym1001

This isn't wedding related, but a Facebook friend posted a gofundme today to raise money for her boyfriend to be able to go skydiving for his 40th birthday because "it's something he's always wanted to do!". I've always wanted to visit Hawaii so maybe I should set up a fundraiser for that!!!! People are so ridiculous. You don't have fundraisers because you can't afford things that you want.

allispain

tammym1001 said:

This isn't wedding related, but a Facebook friend posted a gofundme today to raise money for her boyfriend to be able to go skydiving for his 40th birthday because "it's something he's always wanted to do!". I've always wanted to visit Hawaii so maybe I should set up a fundraiser for that!!!! People are so ridiculous. You don't have fundraisers because you can't afford things that you want.

Maybe I could post one to raise money so that I could quit my job and spend the rest of my life traveling the world. Cause, you know, I've always wanted to do that.

alexandducky412

wrigleyville said:

I should not have to pay someone thirty fucking dollars for a thank you card that I should be getting ANYWAY.

I'd refuse to pay $500 for a cake that doesn't immediately grant me unlimited wishes for the rest of my life, make my hair more manageable, predict the future, make sure it doesn't rain on the day I decide to get married, bring about world peace, and end world hunger.

thecastlebride

I really want to see the faces on the friends and family who donate to these wedding gofundme accounts and then don't even get invited to it.

adverb

I guess I'm in the minority, but I really don't see the big deal. If people wanna set this up, and people willingly contribute, how is that a bad thing? I mean, they'll spend $$$ on gifts from the registry. This way they can more directly contribute.

With that said I would never have the guts to do it, but I wouldn't fault a friend for doing it.

I have more issues when celebrities use gofundme or kickstarter for things. To me that seems they really don't need the money and are just using it for advertising purposes :-/

lyndausvi

adverb said:

I guess I'm in the minority, but I really don't see the big deal. If people wanna set this up, and people willingly contribute, how is that a bad thing? I mean, they'll spend $$$ on gifts from the registry. This way they can more directly contribute.

With that said I would never have the guts to do it, but I wouldn't fault a friend for doing it.

I have more issues when celebrities use gofundme or kickstarter for things. To me that seems they really don't need the money and are just using it for advertising purposes :-/

Asking for money to pay your party is tacky.   Asking for money because of your poor planning is tacky.   Basically charging admission to your wedding is tacky. Giving 7-10% of the money to a 3rd party is just bad financial planning.

Besides giving gifts is always optional.

adverb

Is gift giving really optional? I've never gone to a wedding and not brought a gift. occasionally I'll see "gifts optional" on the wedding website, but most of the time it says no such thing.

Also, you're not charging an admission fee to your wedding. I imagine people would still get invited even if they didn't contribute. At least I hope.