Let it go or put this person on blast?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,
I am a 28-year-old happily married mother of two. I recently discovered that one of my co-workers, “Mac,” spread a wholly untrue rumor about me to many people in my department. A little while ago, I got a Facebook message from a co-worker saying she had overheard that my husband and I were swingers and asking for more information about the lifestyle. I responded that I was not a swinger and that she was misinformed. After questioning another co-worker, I learned that about a year ago Mac told many people in my department that my husband and I were swingers. Additionally, he told several people that he had stopped going to a weekly social event because I had made him feel uncomfortable after propositioning him. None of this is true! I thought Mac and I were friends, although he’s always been an attention seeker, a smooth talker, and a storyteller. Mac has since quit this job and moved out of state. I work with wonderful people who treat me professionally and respectfully. (It took a year to learn that this rumor even existed.) Now, I walk the halls wondering who thinks I’m a sexual predator. I am not sure how to go about clearing my name, and I would also like to let Mac know how his lies in the workplace are hurtful. I am considering giving him a cathartic phone call, or should I just let it go?

—Feeling Compromised

PMeg819

She needs to let it go, but she needs to talk to HR or something.

baconsmom

Let it go. The guy isn't her coworker anymore, and she can't be the only one who knows he's an attention whore. Since it took a year for the rumor even to get to her, I imagine her other coworkers simply ignored the dude, and continue to do so. 

NOLABridesmaid

I got a Facebook message from a co-worker saying she had overheard that my husband and I were swingers and asking for more information about the lifestyle.

Really? Who would ask a co-worker about this? A co-worker????

 

Heffalump

mrs.conn23 said:

I responded that I was not a swinger and that she was misinformed. After questioning another co-worker, I learned that about a year ago Mac told many people in my department that my husband and I were swingers.

Stuck in the box inside the other box:

I think what Mac did was terrible; I agree with Bmom that he's gone now, it's water under the bridge, and he probably wasn't that credible anyway.  But also, "After questioning another coworker" makes me wonder:  did she say "Hey, someone asked me about swinging--do you have any idea where anyone would have gotten that idea?" or was it "OMG, you'll never believe what Sally sent me via FB!!!"

Unknown

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