NWR: Birthday celebration/hosting etiquette

blabla89

FI's birthday is coming up, and when I was trying to plan something to celebrate I suggested going to the shooting range. I was thinking just the two of us, but he said it would be great if his best friend and his wife and his other friend (and presumably other friend's girlfriend) could come. I was expecting to pay for the two of us and hadn't budgeted for paying the range fee, plus gun rentals, eye and ear protection, ammo, etc. for six people.

I know that guests shouldn't be expected to pay for anything at a hosted event like a dinner, but I'm not sure if this is considered a hosted event? I was thinking of sending out a casual message via facebook to say, "FI and I are going to the shooting range for his birthday next Saturday, and I know he'd love it if you could join us." Would this be considered a hosted event? If you got an invite like this, would you assume that the person who invited you was picking up the tab?

mikenberger

I would assume I was picking up my tab. And then buying the birthday boy a drink later. 

In my group of friends, we don't do much "hosting" beyond a house party (which is fully hosted with food, beer etc) and weddings. 

bethsmiles

I wouldn't consider that a hosted event.

SO's birthday is tomorrow. I sent out a text to some of his friends saying "Hey we are celebrating A's birthday at X tomorrow at 6, feel free to join!" This is how we do birthdays, everyone always covers themselves.

Honestly, unless I get a formal invitation I usually assume I'm picking up my own tab.

[Deleted User]

bethsmiles said:

Honestly, unless I get a formal invitation I usually assume I'm picking up my own tab.

Agreed!   In my social circle we almost always go out for dinner for each other's birthdays.  The birthday person usually handles all the details;  however, everyone pays their own way.