Dress Shopping Entourage

alhaley88

Help! I want to invite my FMIL to go dress shopping with me, but she will have to bring a home health aide, I have 4 bridesmaids, a FSIL and my own mother who want to come shopping with me. I don't want too many opinions with me but they are all important to me. What do I do?

missdelilah

See how many people the salons you want to visit can accommodate.  Not taking someone shopping with you doesn't mean they're not important to you.  I did mine alone, and it made things so much easier.  From what I've read on this board, many women find themselves torn between the dress they love and the opinions of friends and family.  Inviting six people who's opinions you value (I'm assuming that said health aide doesn't get a vote, but could be wrong, in which case, make that seven) can make things very overwhelming.  Do you have a maid of honor?  It's completely acceptable to invite her and not the other bridesmaids if you do.  

Good luck with it!  I hope this isn't too stressful for you.

CMGragain

I went dress shopping by myself.  When my daughter needed a wedding dress, the two of us went together.  I would say no more than four people, maximum.  Does your FMIL really want to go shopping with you?  It might be too much for her. 
Bridesmaids are not required to go wedding dress shopping.  You can do the girl thing when it is time to choose their dresses.  When is your wedding?  It isn't wise to select your bridal party more than about 9 months before the wedding.

kvruns

bring the person/persons who are most important an who's opinions would be most useful.  8 people is way too many cooks in the kitchen.

also check with the store(s) as they may have a requirement, especially if you're going on a Saturday when it is already crazy busy and crowded

mikenberger

No way. That's WAY too many people. I took my mother and my MOH. Too many opinions = frustration. 

Take people who will 1 - give you constructive criticism. and 2 - their opinion matters. You want to have fun, not be concerned with 8 different opinions. And as some of the other PPs said, weekends in a bridal salon is a nightmare. You don't want everybody being crowded and not everybody might be able to sit down because of a space issue... ugh, I'm going to break out into hives thinking about it.

If everybody MUST see the dress before the wedding, invite them to a fitting. 

maeday2

mikenberger said:

No way. That's WAY too many people. I took my mother and my MOH. Too many opinions = frustration. 

Take people who will 1 - give you constructive criticism. and 2 - their opinion matters. You want to have fun, not be concerned with 8 different opinions. And as some of the other PPs said, weekends in a bridal salon is a nightmare. You don't want everybody being crowded and not everybody might be able to sit down because of a space issue... ugh, I'm going to break out into hives thinking about it.

If everybody MUST see the dress before the wedding, invite them to a fitting. 

All of this. 

I only went with my Mom and sister. Actually, my sister was late and showed up while I was already wearing my dress and had made up my mind. I sent a picture to my BFF after. 

FMIL wanted to be there, but distance is an issue. She was fine with pictures, as well. 

Maggie0829

Just because they are important to you doesn't mean that you have to invite them dress shopping. Personally, I would take no more then 3 people with you.  Seven people is just way too many (I am not counting the home health aide because she will be there for your FMIL not to comment on your dress).

Have you ever watch SYTTD?  Whenever someone has a huge entourage they are so busy trying to make everyone happy that they forget what they want.  Or they get so many differing opinions that they get confused as hell.  Don't do this to yourself.

novella1186

There's a good chance you might be making more than 1 trip to the bridal salon. I took my mom, my grandma, and my best friend the first time I went. The second place I went to, it was just me and my sister. The third and fourth time I went (the fourth trip was when I finally decided on a dress) I took just my mom. When the dress came in and I went to try it on, my mom wanted to see it again so I took just her again. And then I'll be going back at least twice for fittings.

There are at least a few opportunities for people to go with you (when you try on, when you pick up, and when you get fitted) so there's no need to take a huge crowd of people. 

Take the few people who will be the most honest and helpful to you when you go to try on. If that does not include your FMIL, invite her to come see the dress when it comes in. And whoever ends up not being invited will see the dress on your wedding day anyway. There is absolutely no reason to include every BM and every person who is important to you (the sentiment is nice but it's just not practical). 

And I have to add, when I went to try my dress on when it came in, there was another girl with an appointment to try on and she had about 8 or 9 people with her. The salon was small and there was no space for this crowd. The consultants were rolling their eyes and you could tell they were irritated. The people were spilling over onto my side, so my mom had to keep moving around to try not to get stepped on by them and they were literally standing in front of the mirror blocking the entire thing so I couldn't see my dress. Some of the entourage was engaged in what the bride was trying on, but since not all of them could fit in the small space to see, some of them decided to wander off and were distracted looking at jewelry and whatnot, so the bride kept getting distracted, and people were shouting out all kinds of random opinions at her. You could tell she was getting overwhelmed and wasn't even paying attention to the dresses anymore. It was totally inconvenient for every person in the salon, including the people who weren't with her group. 

ElcaB

Bring the people who are most important to you. To me, having that many people in the room would be too overwhelming. If you want the others' opinions, you can always show them photos later. 

mikenberger

ElcaB said:

Bring the people who are most important to you. To me, having that many people in the room would be too overwhelming. If you want the others' opinions, you can always show them photos later. 

Do keep in mind though that many store policies are no photos until you make a purchase I wanted to take so many pictures. 

doeydo

I only took my mom and I told her before hand (and she already knew) that I didn't want her opinions or anything, just for her to be there.   SO's mom wanted to come, but I managed to tell her I just wanted it to be me and my mom and she was cool with that.  

My dress shopping experience was great and my mom ended up crying but tried to hide her tears until I decided for myself.  As a PP said, watching SYTTD and other wedding dress shopping shows clearly show how crazy bringing a large amount of people can be.

CJandRyan

Do keep in mind though that many store policies are no photos until you make a purchase I wanted to take so many pictures. 

This was the policy at the shop I went to as well. I was able to take photos of the dress I purchased but I decided I want my dress to be a surprise for everyone not just my fiance so I wouldn't let my mom take pictures! 

I would be so stressed out having that many people with me! My mom was the only person who came with me and I'm very happy about that! For me, my opinion was the only one that mattered. As long as I loved the dress and felt amazing in it, that was the one and I didn't want anyone else choosing the dress THEY wanted for me - a lesson learned from SYTTD! Plus it was a good bonding moment for me and my mom.

southernbelle0915

I would just bring your mom and your MOH. Or just your mom... IMO, you're planning on too many people. Sounds like a recipe for stress and too many opinions. 

spglsp

Yikes, I can't imagine coordinating the schedules of all those women and then trying to constructively make a decision with all that input. When I went dress shopping it was with my mother and two of my maids. It's really kept the atmosphere low key. There will be plenty of opportunities to involve loved ones in the planning process, they don't all need to physically be there every step of the way

MandyMost

I went with my mom, my mom's best friend (like my aunt), and my sister-in-law (current, my brother's wife). I wasn't a big fan of my sis-in-law coming because we're not close, but she ended up being really helpful, while my mom and her friend just thought everything was wonderful.  Actually, that first trip my 6-year-old niece came too. The second time my niece didn't come. 

I thought 3 people was good. It was enough that 1 or 2 could wander around looking at dresses, and at least one was there to help me with whatever I needed. I also felt less stressed since they could talk to each other, so I didn't feel like there was a ton of pressure on me. 

For most of the fittings I just took my mom. Honestly, hers was the only opinion I really cared about, mostly because I felt like I could be totally honest with her and vice versa (i.e. do my boobs look OK? Does my butt look big?). 

alhaley88

Thank you all for your input! I definitely do not want to take that many people, but one of my maids is my sister so she has to be there. My problem isn't whether or not I should invite them all but more so, how do I not feel bad about not inviting my 2 of my maids or my FMIL. I don't think my future SIL will care if she isn't invited.

blushingbride8888

I only had my MOH and my Mom. I may take my grandmother or one of my maids to a fitting. I really didn't want a huge group of people and it was a small boutique so it worked out.

If you're concerned about # of people, bring one or two to a fitting down the road.

Maggie0829

alhaley88 said:

Thank you all for your input! I definitely do not want to take that many people, but one of my maids is my sister so she has to be there. My problem isn't whether or not I should invite them all but more so, how do I not feel bad about not inviting my 2 of my maids or my FMIL. I don't think my future SIL will care if she isn't invited.

You just don't.  Not everyone needs to be involved in this and that is okay.

You haven't invited them already have you?

klk111415

I agree with everyone here! I only brought my mom and dad.  Everyone I know who brought a bunch of people ended up having a lot of trouble deciding and it made it into a much more stressful process.  I literally got the first dress I tried on (but I tried on a lot more) When I saw my dad's reaction, I knew it was the one.  I was able to bring it home that day since it was on sale and in my size.  I took pictures to show my FMIL and bridesmaids, and even tried it on for a couple of them.  The process was seamless and I got to have a very special moment with my mom and dad.  

I was only at David Bridal to see what looked best on me and didn't even think I was going to walk out with a dress, but it's funny how things work.  I had plans on going with a bigger group but I was so happy that never happened.  

They are all going to see you in the dress.  Pick what you like rather than what a bunch of girls you bring think you will like.  Opinions from a peanut gallery aren't necessary- they just complicate things!

doeydo

alhaley88 said:

Thank you all for your input! I definitely do not want to take that many people, but one of my maids is my sister so she has to be there. My problem isn't whether or not I should invite them all but more so, how do I not feel bad about not inviting my 2 of my maids or my FMIL. I don't think my future SIL will care if she isn't invited.

No, she doesn't; unless you mean it in a "I can't imagine her not being there, I'd love to share this moment with her" way and not like an obligation due to relation.

theartistformerlyknownas

Your BMs do not all need to be there just because your sister is. That's a pretty clear delineation.

I brought just my mom, step-mom, and two sisters shopping. Then I took my FMIL and dad each to a fitting. The other BM's got to see the dress when we went shopping for BM dresses. Did they all WANT to go shopping? Probably. But it's not always reasonable to give people what they want.

allispain

That sounds like WAY too many people. I can't even imagine having that many opinions on everything. Not to mention the space factor - at the salon I ended up buying from, there would have been room for maybe 4 people tops. At another one I visited, there was space for only 2.

When I went shopping I only brought 1 friend. I then had my mom come to the first fitting so that she too could see the dress. I sent my MIL a picture of me in the dress as well.

weddingcactus

alhaley88 said:

Help! I want to invite my FMIL to go dress shopping with me, but she will have to bring a home health aide, I have 4 bridesmaids, a FSIL and my own mother who want to come shopping with me. I don't want too many opinions with me but they are all important to me. What do I do?

Take only the people you want dress shopping. Lots of people enjoy dress shopping and will want to come. I had numerous friends express a desire to go shopping with me and I did not invite them. For most people, it's just fun to come look at all the pretty dresses and give opinions. But that doesn't mean it's constructive for you. You need to be selective about only taking people you really want there.

All the previous advice is absolutely spot on: a small entourage is much less frustrating, so try to keep it to four or less. Personally I think two is just right. Seven is way way too many. Choose the people that are closest to you whose opinions you value. You want to receive honest constructive criticism and an understanding of the look/style of the wedding. You don't want seven different voices drowning out your own opinions or talking you into purchasing a dress you don't love.

madamerwin

I almost went dress shopping alone, but sister #2 (lives out of town) convinced me to bring sister #1 and my mom (both of whom are local to me). It was great having them there, but I can't imagine bringing many more people than that.

mrscomposer

I went with my mom, sister, and two BFFs (my three bridesmaids) - but I also went on a weekday during the off-season, so we had DB's to ourselves.  I don't get to see these people often, so we made a day of it - and BFF #1 is the reason I chose the dress I did.

I agree that it's a lot of people, for all the reasons PPs mentioned.  I would also suggest taking FMIL and escort to a fitting later on, just for her comfort as well.

libride2015

I took my mom, grandmother and MOH - 

it was PERFECT and actually most other people there had just ONE other person. 

too many people can get so overwhelming everyone has an opinion and ultimately the choice is yours. 

klk111415

Oh- Not to mention some dress stores can't be very accommodating for large groups. I went to DB and there was a huge group there and they had trouble getting two chairs for my parents.  It was extremely frustrating.  They were also extremely loud and I was kind of pushed into a tiny corner of the store.  So from the point of view of someone who only brought two people- I couldn't stand the whole entourage the other girl brought.  I had the last laugh though because the first dress I tried on was the last one in the store.  The whole entourage just stood around me and started crying and the bride asked if she could try on the dress.  I quickly said no and knew it was "the" dress.  I did try on others but luckily I walked out with my dress which was the dress that every girl wanted! 

brittanykaylachandler

I just took my mom and sister, who is also my maid of honor. It was perfect. I didn't have a bazillion opinions-or dresses- flying at me. 

redheadbride15

I did my dress shopping alone, and I'm soooooo glad I did. I could fit it in during my lunch hour during the week, so I didn't have to battle the weekend crowds, and didn't have to deal with a bunch of conflicting opinions from other people when the only opinion I really care about is my own. But I also recognize that I'm pretty comfortable with my body and I know what looks good and what does not.

Every girl is different, but I agree with all the PPs that bringing more than 3-4 people is just asking for trouble.

Knottie59783736

I was part of a very large group, shopping at a store in New York.  It just did not work out.  I went with the bride to a couple of stores and it worked better.  Every bridesmaid had an opinion.  I am not ready but we visited a store here in New Orleans and saw a number of beautiful gowns. My friend visited for Mardi Gras and she picked out at gown here from that store.