Does formal etiquette play a role in your regular life?

mrscomposer

BritLady said:

Please allow me to elaborate a bit what I mean by social formalities, whilst pointing out that the list below is neither exclusive nor in any way hierarchical:

• Do you regularly attend formal day or evening events? (Daytime events would require either black lounge or morning dress, whilst evening dos would be black/white tie with corresponding ladies' attire)?  Not black tie, but I've been to Regimental Dinners and Balls where I've had to wear my ceremonial uniform (dress jacket, gold belt, floor length skirt)
• Have you hosted formal dinners (four courses or more), preferably preceded by a written invitation addressed to the lady of the house?  I've hosted four course dinners.  Not formal.  The lady of the house was a gay man.
• Do you regularly write thank-you letters, condolence letters, welcome notes or other social correspondence?  Thank you notes when warranted, other social correspondence when I think about it.
• Have you ever opened a dance or a ball with a set measure?  Grand Entries at the above mentioned Regimental Balls are kinda like a set measure?  I guess?  It's like a parade to music.

I am simply curious, and would appreciate many responses.

As for etiquette - I take care of the people in my house (writ large or small, depending on the occasion) so that there are no expectations of them. 

PrettyGirlLost

I'm still kinda laughing at "landed gentry." Is this a Jane Austen novel? We "colonials" don't really live that lifestyle.

ejpentecost

Hmm, interesting:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-ever-use-social-formalities-in-your-non-wedding-life/

themosthappy91

ejpentecost said:

Hmm, interesting:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-ever-use-social-formalities-in-your-non-wedding-life/

And the plot thickens... that is from four years ago!?

theartistformerlyknownas

This is exactly why SSs come in here thinking etiquette doesn't apply to them because they're not fancy. ETIQUETTE JUST MEANS TREATING PEOPLE PROPERLY. Say please and thank you. Don't take advantage of people. Make them feel welcome in any place to which you've invited them. Tend to their basic needs as best you are able. Be clear in your communications. It has NOTHING to do with being fancy and pretentious.

kmmssg

themosthappy91 said:

ejpentecost said:

Hmm, interesting:

http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/do-you-ever-use-social-formalities-in-your-non-wedding-life/

And the plot thickens... that is from four years ago!?

OMG!  I read WB and the real author of the OP will just have you going WTH some days.  She misses the days when 10 year old girls were taken to the fancy department store to choose their china for their adult life.  she also thinks there is nothing wrong with inviting people to a shower who aren't invited to the wedding....the hostess should know who these people are.  I could go on and on.

When I read the OP a few days ago my first thought was the person who wrote in on WB.  Want to entertain yourself?  Go read some of her postings.

LondonLisa

PrettyGirlLost said:

I'm still kinda laughing at "landed gentry." Is this a Jane Austen novel? We "colonials" don't really live that lifestyle.

Please don't think she represents all British people. In fact, anyone (especially those born of means) would be horribly embarrassed by her posts, leading me to believe that she is living an online (most likely Julian Fellowes-inspired) fantasy of being erudite and moneyed. 

To use some apropos Cockney rhyming slang: methinks she is telling some porkie pies!

PrettyGirlLost

LondonLisa said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

I'm still kinda laughing at "landed gentry." Is this a Jane Austen novel? We "colonials" don't really live that lifestyle.

Please don't think she represents all British people. In fact, anyone (especially those born of means) would be horribly embarrassed by her posts, leading me to believe that she is living an online (most likely Julian Fellowes-inspired) fantasy of being erudite and moneyed. 

To use some apropos Cockney rhyming slang: methinks she is telling some porkie pies!

Oh absolutely not, no worries!

I was just being tongue in cheek because of how silly I thought the post was.

Snobs, nutters, and fakes have no borders, right? ;-)

themosthappy91

I have a strong feeling that this girl actually lives in a crappy apartment somewhere in America and "BritLady" is like a character she plays online for fun... no one is really like that.

mollybarker11

Yeahhh this is obviously pretty silly -- and tip to OP: mapping out your lineage whether it pertains to the topic or not would probably elicit some raised eyebrows from actual aristocrats or whatever -- but at least it brings up an interesting discussion.

She seems to be conflating etiquette with formality. I don't know what could be considered "informal etiquette". Etiquette isn't a specific action so whether you're at an informal event or a formal event, the way you treat other people shouldn't fundamentally change. Sure you might need to bow/curtsey at some events where a wave or hug would be acceptable at others but you're still greeting people.

Am I dumb & oversimplifying this? What the hell does ballroom dancing have to do with etiquette? What does morning dress have to do with etiquette? Those are formal things, yeah. Just ask if we're fancy (you already know).