His best man is a dick. He asked me to post about it (his exacts words were "you should post it on the knot and see what all your wise ladies say about it").
This will be a long one cuz I feel like there's a lot of history and bullshit involved so TLDR: Best man is being extremely difficult and refusing to get a suit. What would you do about that?
So "Brad" has known FI since they were little kids. They were college roommates and everything. Their parents are good friends. That's why FI decided to ask Brad to be his best man. Brad has always had a personality where he's kind of a surly asshole and he likes to be difficult, but it has gotten much worse over time (like in general, not wedding related).
Several months ago, FI decided he wanted all the guys to wear gray suits. The particular shade doesn't matter, so they can rent or buy from any place that they can find the best price. Brad immediately starts bitching at me saying he won't wear gray because he doesn't own a gray suit already. Well, he doesn't own any suit at all already, and I'm sure when he said yes to being in a wedding he realized he would have to wear SOMETHING. Whatever, just typical Brad being difficult.
One of the guys bought a gray suit at Kohl's (3-piece and it looks really nice on him) for $125 and told the other guys. In the mean time, FI and I went to a local shop and the owner told us our guys could rent a full suit for $115 or buy a full suit for $175, and their suits are really nice. That's where FI is gonna buy his. We tell Brad. Brad gets pissed because he doesn't want to drive to our city to get a suit (never mind that FI drives down to visit Brad all the time since that's the only time they ever see each other). We talk to the suit shop again and the owner assures us that Brad can order over the phone and have the suit shipped to him, and owner will set Brad up with one of his many liaison stores so he can get it custom tailored in his city. Brad will not.
This morning I get a text from Brad bitching at me that to buy a gray suit is going to cost him "over $400." Immediately following this is a second text that simply says "I can't rent a suit." K? 10 minutes before this, his crazypants evil fiance (seriously, this girl is the anti-Christ) facebooks me and ALSO texts me, asking what color shoes he should wear. Um... what? I tell her he can wear any shoes he wants. I ask him why he can't rent and he does not answer me. I then text him again and say "You can buy a suit from the store here for $175 and they'll send it to so you won't have to drive here." No reply. I never heard back from either of them.
Mind you, even if he doesn't want to get one from the store here, gray suits are very common and he can definitely find one for less than $400.
And Brad never tried to contact FI about this. The suits were FI's decision, he's in charge of the guys' attire, because it's his wedding too, but Brad is constantly coming to me to bitch about it and will not communicate with FI. I don't get it.
We drove down for Brad's birthday about a month ago, at which point Brad was a total dick to FI and me, and his girlfriend was her usual awful self. We decided then that we would likely never take the time to go visit them ever again. FI also confided that he wishes he had never asked Brad to be best man at all. FI thought they were best friends, but Brad has become more and more of an asshole and now he suddenly realizes that there's basically no friendship there anymore.
Doesn't help that none of the other groomsmen like Brad and that FI's parents do not like Brad at all, and think he treats FI like crap. They think he should never have been asked to be FI's best man (I agree, but I stayed out of it because it's FI's choice). Now that Brad is engaged to crazy chick, we found out that Brad is not including FI in his wedding party at all. FI didn't mention it to him because it's Brad's wedding and Brad's choice, but he was really hurt. He said "I thought we were best friends, so much so that I wanted him to be my best man. Since I asked him, though, I feel like he has totally dropped out of my life. And now I find out he doesn't even care enough about me to include me in his wedding at all. He's free to do whatever he wants, but it kind of says how he feels about me as a friend, and it sucks." I just let FI vent and didn't say much, since I didn't think it would help to express how much I do not like Brad. But I was heart-broken to hear how hurt FI was.
And now that Brad is being such a dick about a stupid suit, I'm tempted to just say "Wear the stupid suit or don't be in the wedding. It's pretty fucking simple." When he said yes to being in it, he knew he'd have to wear a suit or tux. So what the fuck is the problem? Ugh. I'm so frustrated. FI told me not to worry about it because he's going to deal with it since it's his friend, and he's annoyed that Brad didn't just come to him in the first place and put it on me instead.
What would you do if you were FI?
