Alternative way to honor friends other then being a bridesmaid

[Deleted User]

I have been planning on just having my sister as my MOH at my destination wedding. However, now that I am deep in the planning of my wedding I really would wanting to have my closest friends with me. I have two very close friends that I would like to be bridesmaid who live in another state and one girlfriend of mine that I have only known a year, but who I have become very close and is helping me with all planning. So that would be 4 girls and I don't care about the dress (I will just ask them to wear my color) My fiance is only have three friends attending and one is an old friend from college but is not that close to anymore (I doubt he would be comfortable asking). He has two brother-n-laws that he can ask but then I would feel obligated to ask his sisters to be bridesmaids. One of my possible bridesmaids who I adore, I am not sure if she would even want to be bridesmaid she is in her 40's and has twins one with special needs, but if I ask she would not say no. Is there a way other then making them bridesmaids to honor them and make them stand out at the wedding. The only thing I can think of is to ask them to do a reading but we are having a Jewish ceremony and readings are not typically done. Love to hear any and all suggestions or advise

Viczaesar

eryncita said:

I have been planning on just having my sister as my MOH at my destination wedding. However, as I am planning my wedding I am now really wanting to have my very good friends with me. I have two very close friends that I would like to be bridesmaid who live in another state and a girlfriend of mine that I have only known a year but who I have become very close and is helping me with all planning. So that would be 4 girls and I don't care about the dress (I will just ask them to wear my color) My fiance is only have three friends attending and one is an old friend from college but is not that close to anymore (I doubt he would be comfortable asking). He has two brother-n-laws that he can ask but then I would feel obligated to ask his sisters to be bridesmaids. One of my possible BM, who I adore I am not sure if she would even want to be bridesmaid she is in her 40's and has twins one with special needs, but if I ask she would not say no. Is there a way other then making them bridesmaids to honor them and make them stand out at the wedding. The only thing I can think of is to ask them to do a reading but we are having a Jewish ceremony and readings are not typically done. Love to hear any and all suggestions or advise

I don't understand why you don't want to ask them to be bridesmaids.  Just ask them.  They're adults, they can say no if they can't swing it.  But since the only thing required of them is to get the dress - chosen with their budget in mind - and show up, there's not all that much that they need to be able to swing.

[Deleted User]

Oh I guess, I wasn't clear on my post. The issue would be having more bridesmaids then groomsmen having an uneven bridal party.

mikenberger

eryncita said:

Oh I guess, I wasn't clear on my post. The issue would be having more bridesmaids then groomsmen having an uneven bridal party.

This is a nonissue. You can have uneven sides.

OliveOilsMom

I have 5 BMs and H had 3 GM.  There were no issues and our marriage is legal.  So don't worry about even sides.  Ask who you want to ask.  If you decide not to ask anyone else, you can always ask these ladies to get ready with you before the wedding.

novella1186

Sides really do not need to be even. I have 5 BMs, my FI has 6 GMs. The world will not end.

manateehugger

Originally, we had 6 bridesmaids and 7 groomsmen. No biggie. Three of H's groomsmen wound up being deployed and weren't able to be there. We had 6 bridesmaids and 4 groomsmen. Still not a big deal. Two guys escorted two ladies at once down the aisle, and our photographer wasn't an idiot incapable of posing a bridal party.

Please don't exclude your dear friends become of some pinterest-inspired notion that bridal parties have to be even. They absolutely do not. People matter more than symmetry.

AddieCake

We had 2 bridesmaids and one groomswoman. Nobody cares about even sides.

lyndausvi

I had 9 on my side. DH had 6 on his side.  NBD.

southernbelle0915

Even sides aren't necessary. Ask them to be BMs

Viczaesar

eryncita said:

Oh I guess, I wasn't clear on my post. The issue would be having more bridesmaids then groomsmen having an uneven bridal party.

That's not an issue.  Ask them to be bridesmaids.

[Deleted User]

One of your GM will be lucky have two women to walk with. 

Jen4948

Even sides are not required.

But just asking someone to attend as a guest "honors" them. If you don't ask them to be in your bridal party, they aren't "less honored" if they are a guest.

KatWAG

But, you guys! Her pictures will be ruined!!!!!

Dreamergirl8812

Jen4948 said:

Even sides are not required. But just asking someone to attend as a guest "honors" them. If you don't ask them to be in your bridal party, they aren't "less honored" if they are a guest.

This. I think you're honoring them anyway by inviting them to your small and intimate DW. If you want to honor them more, make them BMs. They are your nearest and dearest, not photo props.

brittanykaylachandler

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

floridabride44

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

OP, don't do this.

Explain to me how putting people to work at your wedding (when they're your guests and should be enjoying themselves) is a way of honoring them? I'm seriously curious about this. 

levioosa

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

NOOOOOOOOOO

"Hey, I don't want you as my bridesmaid because we're not really that close, but I would like you to be my bridal bitch for the day."

That's basically what a house party is. 

manateehugger

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

This is bitchwork - and your friends are not your bitches. This would be like having a friend come up to you and say, "So excited for your birthday! What do you want to celebrate?" and you reply, "Well my house really could use some cleaning, so that'd be great if you could do it for me! Love ya!"

Nope, not an honor. Also, change your username. You're making it way too easy for internet creepers to google up personal information.

OliveOilsMom

Why do people think that just because someone is a guest at a wedding, they forget how life works?  Wedding guests know that there are typically programs at the entrance area of the ceremony.  If they are sitting out, a guest can pick one up. 

Wedding guests also know that if the reception isn't in the same area as the ceremony, they will have to go find it.  Typically all this information is in the invitation, which since the guest has arrived at the ceremony, has probably read and will know where to go for the reception.

Also, a wedding guest knows that if a book (or any other item) is sitting out at the entrance to the cocktail hour, it is probably meant to be signed for the couple.

IT IS NOT NECESSARY TO ASK PEOPLE TO DO THESE JOBS FOR YOU, WEDDING GUESTS KNOW THE DEAL!

PrettyGirlLost

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

mikenberger

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

And change your name if that's your real name. Anybody can find you and from your posts, I know where you live as well. Be safe on the internet!

MyNameIsNot

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

That's horrible!  That's so obviously meant to be a slap in the face.

OP, even sides are silly. Ask them to be BMs if you want them. Otherwise, just leave them as guests. 

slothiegal

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

We had this. This was who we picked to handle the fans (which we had instead of programs) and the guest book:

And this is who assisted our guests with directions:

(Spoiler alert: if the "honored position" can be done by a table or a quick glance at a map....it's not a honor.)

redoryx

slothiegal said:

brittanykaylachandler said:

Having a 'House Party' is very common where I live. The girls in the house party pass out programs, stand at the guest book table, direct people to the ceremony location if it's not direct, etc.  Extra helpers and hands

We had this. This was who we picked to handle the fans (which we had instead of programs) and the guest book:

And this is who assisted our guests with directions:

(Spoiler alert: if the "honored position" can be done by a table or a quick glance at a map....it's not a honor.)

As if I needed another reason to love you.

slothiegal

@redoryx