Wedding Etiquette Forum

tipping etiquette

My wedding is in less than two weeks and I'm trying to figure out who to tip. My marriage is going to be in a courthouse performed by one of the commissioners. I read somewhere that they cannot accept gifts of money but homemade gifts and thank you cards are acceptable. Is that true? Second question that I have is tipping the staff at the restaurant that we are eating at after. Its a luncheon type of thing so nothing too extravagant. The event coordinator is taking her time to set up the tables and linens, she is making menues with our photo on it and nice greeting. There is a 18% gratuity added to our bill at the end but I'm not sure if that includes the bartenders and the coordinator.

Answers

  • For the commissioner, a nice thank you note or even a gift basket of snacks might be nice. Although I doubt they expect anything.

    For the restaurant, call your event coordinator and ask her what the 18% includes (i.e. is it just the servers?). That should help you figure out who else may need to be tipped. If they do a great job, you can always tip more than 18%.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    My wedding is in less than two weeks and I'm trying to figure out who to tip. My marriage is going to be in a courthouse performed by one of the commissioners. I read somewhere that they cannot accept gifts of money but homemade gifts and thank you cards are acceptable. Is that true? Second question that I have is tipping the staff at the restaurant that we are eating at after. Its a luncheon type of thing so nothing too extravagant. The event coordinator is taking her time to set up the tables and linens, she is making menues with our photo on it and nice greeting. There is a 18% gratuity added to our bill at the end but I'm not sure if that includes the bartenders and the coordinator.

    How is your luncheon being set up? Will you have a separate bar just for your party, or will the servers be getting your drinks from the restaurant bar like if you went their for dinner normally? 

    Normally, at a restaurant, the servers have to tip out the bartenders based on their sales/tips. If you are having a separate bar just for your party, the servers and bartenders are getting tipped from that 18% gratuity. If the servers are getting the drinks from the restaurant's regular bar, they are tipping out the bartender. Either way they are getting tipped. The coordinator you can always tip separately, and you can always leave more than the 18% tip to the staff, if your think they did an amazing job.
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