Bridal Shower When I move out or Wait until before I get married?

ksampson923

I am getting married June 2016, but we are moving out this October. My friends told me I should have my bridal shower this summer so I can have everything I need when I move out, but I always thought that the bridal shower would be about 2 months before my wedding. Should I consider having it before I move out or should I wait and do it in April 2016?

banana468

ksampson923 said:

I am getting married June 2016, but we are moving out this October. My friends told me I should have my bridal shower this summer so I can have everything I need when I move out, but I always thought that the bridal shower would be about 2 months before my wedding. Should I consider having it before I move out or should I wait and do it in April 2016?

Your friend is wrong. The shower should be closer to the wedding. Plus you aren't supposed to use the shower and wedding gifts until you're actually married.

flantastic

banana468 said:

I am getting married June 2016, but we are moving out this October. My friends told me I should have my bridal shower this summer so I can have everything I need when I move out, but I always thought that the bridal shower would be about 2 months before my wedding. Should I consider having it before I move out or should I wait and do it in April 2016?

Your friend is wrong. The shower should be closer to the wedding. Plus you aren't supposed to use the shower and wedding gifts until you're actually married.

Yep, wait on it. Obviously no one ever thinks this will happen to them, but the bolded is because if the wedding doesn't happen, you're supposed to return the gifts.

ksampson923

Thanks @flantastic.

chibiyui

Also, practically speaking here, if you get them before you move. THEN YOU HAVE TO MOVE THEM. Who the fuck wants to do that? Moving sucks already, a shit ton of shower gifts on top of that? Fuck no.

mikenberger

chibiyui said:

Also, practically speaking here, if you get them before you move. THEN YOU HAVE TO MOVE THEM. Who the fuck wants to do that? Moving sucks already, a shit ton of shower gifts on top of that? Fuck no.

Totally. Moving sucks to begin. Then you have to move a bunch of new stuff that could get broken or damaged in transit. 

Wait for your shower. One of my friends had her shower 10 months before her wedding and when people were asking about the date and she replied with a date that was 10 months away, one of the responses and I quote was "Your wedding is 10 months away? Aren't you jumping the gun there?" Don't be that bride. And nobody wants to celebrate your wedding for 10 months before the actual wedding. Trust me.

MandyMost

Have a housewarming party in your new place, and people will likely bring some gifts. It's totally unrelated to your upcoming wedding. And in general, just try to get by with the bare minimum until the wedding. Also, after you've been in the new place for a while, you'll have a much better idea of what you actually want. 

JellyBean52513

Can I also just throw it out there that you should't be "having" your shower, rather someone else should be throwing it for you. It's considered gift-grabby and rude to throw a party in your own honor, especially one that is centered around people bringing you presents.

I don't mean to assume, but based on the wording in the OP, it sounds like you're trying to figure out the best time to throw the shower your yourself. You really shouldn't do that, wait for someone to offer to host you one and then discuss a good time frame with them.

fwtx5815

JellyBean52513 said:

Can I also just throw it out there that you should't be "having" your shower, rather someone else should be throwing it for you. It's considered gift-grabby and rude to throw a party in your own honor, especially one that is centered around people bringing you presents.

I don't mean to assume, but based on the wording in the OP, it sounds like you're trying to figure out the best time to throw the shower your yourself. You really shouldn't do that, wait for someone to offer to host you one and then discuss a good time frame with them.

This.

Also, you need to pretty much have your wedding guest list finalized before you accept a bridal shower. The reason for this is, anyone that is invited to the shower must also be invited to the wedding. It would be incredibly rude to have a shower way before the wedding and invite say 60 people, then realize you and your FI want a small wedding and cut your wedding guest list back - it's a blatant gift grab.

It's not impossible for you to have already finalized your guest list 15 months out or even 9 months out, but as someone who's less than 3 months from my wedding, we still aren't 100% sure about inviting certain people. You're much better off just waiting.

[Deleted User]

Wait, get the minimum you need to get by day to day and register for everything else for when it's closer to your wedding. This way in case of god forbid anything happens and the wedding doesn't take place, you don't have to worry about returning gifts.

Bubblegum5586

It would also be nice to register after living at your place for a few months. At that point you know what you need and in what colors. It would make the process of registering a lot easier!

I had my shower a year before we got our house and I waited to open 75% (by open I mean use, I knew what the gifts were to send thank yous). When we got the house I realized I didn't need some of the stuff or the colors wern't right etc so I actually returned most of it and repurchased the correct sizes and colors! It was kind of a pain (although kind of fun)

esstee33

bubblegum1309 said:

It would also be nice to register after living at your place for a few months. At that point you know what you need and in what colors. It would make the process of registering a lot easier!

I had my shower a year before we got our house and I waited to open 75% (by open I mean use, I knew what the gifts were to send thank yous). When we got the house I realized I didn't need some of the stuff or the colors wern't right etc so I actually returned most of it and repurchased the correct sizes and colors! It was kind of a pain (although kind of fun)

This is fantastic advice! 

Once you're actually settled in your new place and getting into the routine of your daily lives, you'll realize some things you may need or want that you might not be thinking of now, too. It's easier to think of what you want to scan when you actually know what space you're living in and how these things will fit in it. 

[Deleted User]

Your friend is wrong, you should not have a shower for the sole purpose of getting gifts because you need them now.  That looks like a gift grab.   Showers are given about 1-3 months before the wedding. Also, you aren't suppose to use any of your shower gifts until after the wedding.   If you do use the items and the wedding was suddenly canceled, etiquette states you need to return or replace all gifts given.     

Don't be concerned about having every little kitchen gadget or appliance when you first move in, I would live in my space first and figure out what really want/need.   In the meantime, you can buy the basics (dishes, silverware, glasses) for very cheap at places like TJMaxx or even Target.   If you want to be really frugal, go to Goodwill.