Bridal tea etiquette

KatieinBkln

Hey all,

My sister is my MOH and she mentioned the possibility of hosting a bridal tea for me. Two questions:

1. The bridal tea is typically a non-gift-giving event, correct? (I don't plan to register and would most likely decline a shower). If so, what...happens? Just ladies drinkin' tea and eating tea sandwiches and...please tell me there are no games.

2. I know it wouldn't be appropriate for a family member to host a shower, but is it cool for my sister to host a tea (provided they're known to be non-gift events)?

I seriously don't know how much of this shit works, but my sis is awesome and will happily take gentle correction if she's doing something wrong.

southernbelle0915

I've only been to one, so someone correct me if I'm wrong, but...

1) Correct, it's non-gift giving. I imagine games are optional - the one I went to did not have games.

2) There are some people who think it's inappropriate for family members to throw gift giving events because it's asking for presents for your family. IMHO, as long as the couple isn't throwing it for themselves, whatever. But this isn't even a gift giving event, so I don't think this applies.

flantastic

KatieinBkln said:

Hey all,

My sister is my MOH and she mentioned the possibility of hosting a bridal tea for me. Two questions:

1. The bridal tea is typically a non-gift-giving event, correct? (I don't plan to register and would most likely decline a shower). If so, what...happens? Just ladies drinkin' tea and eating tea sandwiches and...please tell me there are no games.

2. I know it wouldn't be appropriate for a family member to host a shower, but is it cool for my sister to host a tea (provided they're known to be non-gift events)?

I seriously don't know how much of this shit works, but my sis is awesome and will happily take gentle correction if she's doing something wrong.

I'm pretty confident that this can work however you want it to work. I really tried to steer my MIL and their elderly next-door neighbor friend towards a "bridal tea" rather than a shower, because I knew I wasn't going to know the guests well and accepting gifts felt awkward. No go, because according to her it wasn't worth it for the guests to come and just sit and chat and drink tea... presumably because they don't know me or each other that well, necessarily, and so need to have the gift-opening to occupy them?

I think I would have enjoyed a tea where there isn't a program or event and I just get to sit and chat with people I actually know and like.

Cookie Pusher

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

KatieinBkln

Cookie Pusher said:

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

Yeah, there will be no voluntelling. Also I hate DIYing, and would never expect anyone else to DIT(hemselves) on my behalf, worry not!

Cookie Pusher

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

Yeah, there will be no voluntelling. Also I hate DIYing, and would never expect anyone else to DIT(hemselves) on my behalf, worry not!

Well, I *thought* I knew this couple who are throwing an awful, rude, tacky wedding too. Of all our friends, these were not the people I thought would do this. If you want, I'll message you details. It even got the GUYS at my office angry!

SP29

Yep, no gifts, games optional, A-OK for sister to host. 

KatieinBkln

Cookie Pusher said:

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

Yeah, there will be no voluntelling. Also I hate DIYing, and would never expect anyone else to DIT(hemselves) on my behalf, worry not!

Well, I *thought* I knew this couple who are throwing an awful, rude, tacky wedding too. Of all our friends, these were not the people I thought would do this. If you want, I'll message you details. It even got the GUYS at my office angry!

Cookie Pusher obviously I require details. 

levioosa

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

Yeah, there will be no voluntelling. Also I hate DIYing, and would never expect anyone else to DIT(hemselves) on my behalf, worry not!

Well, I *thought* I knew this couple who are throwing an awful, rude, tacky wedding too. Of all our friends, these were not the people I thought would do this. If you want, I'll message you details. It even got the GUYS at my office angry!

Cookie Pusher obviously I require details. 

I second this

Cookie Pusher

levioosa said:

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

KatieinBkln said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Yep, typically not a gift-giving event and I would not side-eye a family member for throwing an event like this since gifts typically aren't given. Just please, for the love of all that is non-tacky, do not do what one friend of ours is doing and host a bridal tea where the invitees assemble your wedding centerpieces.

IT'S LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

Yeah, there will be no voluntelling. Also I hate DIYing, and would never expect anyone else to DIT(hemselves) on my behalf, worry not!

Well, I *thought* I knew this couple who are throwing an awful, rude, tacky wedding too. Of all our friends, these were not the people I thought would do this. If you want, I'll message you details. It even got the GUYS at my office angry!

Cookie Pusher obviously I require details. 

I second this

I can't share too many details publicly because there's always the chance the bride is on TK (I know another bride who is here and reads the E boards but thinks we're all crazy/scary/mean). But suffice it to say this couple hit 3-strikes long before I got to the part of their website talking about the cash bar.

Knottie45547263

I had a bridal tea, but everyone brought gifts! haha 

We had it at a French Bistro  - we just ate, socialized, and drank. No games.