Wedding Shower...I'm So Upset

StarHex

I just got the invitation for two people whom I truly love's co-ed wedding shower. It's a fully hosted backyard barbecue. Sounds like fun, right? At the bottom of the invite, it says, "The Bride and Groom are remodeling their kitchen, and so they request gift cards." Why? Oh God, why?

bethsmiles

Ugh...requesting cash or gift cards for a shower is one of the things that will make me rsvp no. Showers are for physical gifts, it's just tacky as hell to throw one and expect cash/gift cards. If you have no need for items off a registry, then just don't have a shower.

JoanE2012

StarHex said:

I just got the invitation for two people whom I truly love's co-ed wedding shower. It's a fully hosted backyard barbecue. Sounds like fun, right? At the bottom of the invite, it says, "The Bride and Groom are remodeling their kitchen, and so they request gift cards." Why? Oh God, why?

I'd either decline or buy them something to use for the kitchen.  

500days

Ugh, of course they included that in small font at the bottom of the invitation. Don't they realize how awkward and boring the shower will be without any gifts to open?

banana468

It's a shame you already crocheted that rainbow afghan for them.

kvruns

500days said:

Ugh, of course they included that in small font at the bottom of the invitation. Don't they realize how awkward and boring the shower will be without any gifts to open?

hopefully they treat it as more of a "hey friends let's hang out" than what we normally think of with a typical shower and half of the time is spent on gift giving.  But then again they asked for specific items on the invite so maybe not

[Deleted User]

I went to a wedding once where the bride & groom mainly registered for gift cards. They had a house and all the small stuff already, the things they really needed were like appliances & lawn mower, etc which they new was too much to ask for from any one person so they registered for gift cards that they could use towards the big ticket items they needed. Granted it wasn't put on their invites, I had asked if they were registered anywhere and that is what the bride told me.

climbingsingle

Ugh. 

charcoalandblush

Ughhh why is this a thing? My mom and I were just talking about the shower my MOH is throwing me and she told me "Girl-from-our-church just had a GIFT CARD SHOWER! How tacky is that?" Usually my mom is clueless on the etiquette, and even SHE knew like this was completely rude and off-putting.

thisismynickname2

They could have registered for Home Depot stuff and called it a day. 

Just out of curiosity, as I tackle my own bathroom remodel, is their kitchen horribly outdated and in dire need of a gut rehab, or are they doing it to catch up with the Joneses?  To be honest, that would color my opinion of how this goes. 

If you are stuck in a 100 year old home with pink formica countertops, hell yes I will give you money to help you remodel. (Pink formica = true story, by the way.)

redoryx

thisismynickname said:

They could have registered for Home Depot stuff and called it a day. 

Just out of curiosity, as I tackle my own bathroom remodel, is their kitchen horribly outdated and in dire need of a gut rehab, or are they doing it to catch up with the Joneses?  To be honest, that would color my opinion of how this goes. 

If you are stuck in a 100 year old home with pink formica countertops, hell yes I will give you money to help you remodel. (Pink formica = true story, by the way.)

While I agree in theory, there are ways to go about letting guests know that without resorting to having a shower begging for money.

thisismynickname2

redoryx said:

thisismynickname said:

They could have registered for Home Depot stuff and called it a day. 

Just out of curiosity, as I tackle my own bathroom remodel, is their kitchen horribly outdated and in dire need of a gut rehab, or are they doing it to catch up with the Joneses?  To be honest, that would color my opinion of how this goes. 

If you are stuck in a 100 year old home with pink formica countertops, hell yes I will give you money to help you remodel. (Pink formica = true story, by the way.)

While I agree in theory, there are ways to go about letting guests know that without resorting to having a shower begging for money.

Yes, agreed  

msuprincess04

My friend had a shower and she was also remodeling her house. She registered at Home Depot, and most just gave her a gift card. Not sure how much fun faucets and cabinet knobs would be to open anyway.

thisismynickname2

msuprincess04 said:

My friend had a shower and she was also remodeling her house. She registered at Home Depot, and most just gave her a gift card. Not sure how much fun faucets and cabinet knobs would be to open anyway.

Actually I think it'd be really fun. But I just replaced a kitchen faucet myself. It's so pretty. If someone would buy me nicer knobs than I can afford on my own, I'd be thrilled. 

Maggie0829

StarHex said:

I just got the invitation for two people whom I truly love's co-ed wedding shower. It's a fully hosted backyard barbecue. Sounds like fun, right? At the bottom of the invite, it says, "The Bride and Groom are remodeling their kitchen, and so they request gift cards." Why? Oh God, why?

I'm wondering if the bride and groom actually requested this or if the host just took some liberty and said that since they know that the couple is in the middle of a remodel.

KatWAG

I think you should buy them a tub of grout.

[Deleted User]

Maggie0829 said:

StarHex said:

I just got the invitation for two people whom I truly love's co-ed wedding shower. It's a fully hosted backyard barbecue. Sounds like fun, right? At the bottom of the invite, it says, "The Bride and Groom are remodeling their kitchen, and so they request gift cards." Why? Oh God, why?

I'm wondering if the bride and groom actually requested this or if the host just took some liberty and said that since they know that the couple is in the middle of a remodel.

Agreed!  When my cousin's wife had her shower, the host put a money request on the invite.  I thought it was totally rude, but I didn't hold it against the bride.   She's not the one planning the shower and it's possible she didn't even know about it.   I got her something on her registry instead.    It's rude, but not worth declining the invite.  

madamerwin

banana468 said:

It's a shame you already crocheted that rainbow afghan for them.

Haha! I wish someone would crochet ME a rainbow afghan...

photokitty

KatWAG said:

I think you should buy them a tub of grout.

Screw that. Get them caulk! A big ass think tube of caulk. Caulk is fun for the bride & groom! Caulk, caulk, caulk!!!!

WildMagelet

photokitty said:

KatWAG said:

I think you should buy them a tub of grout.

Screw that. Get them caulk! A big ass think tube of caulk. Caulk is fun for the bride & groom! Caulk, caulk, caulk!!!!

I love caulk!

Our kitchen is the last on the remodel list.  I would totally register for a faucet and new cabinet knobs.

StarHex

The kitchen remodel is because they want a different kitchen, not because they desperately need one. If they had registered at Home Depot or Lowe's, cool. The point of a shower is to *open gifts*. My fiancé asked, "Are they going to open each gift card and announce how much money that person spent on them??"