NWR: Baby Shower Gifts

PowerDoc

So I received an invitation for a baby shower for someone my SO is closer with than I. Now baby showers are cool, but this couple has a baby already, as the invitation pointed out in "cutesy" poem, ergo they don't need normal baby shower gifts. Instead, the invitation suggest that, while gifts aren't necessary, they could use some consumables. I'm sour about the whole thing. Firstly, I think you get one baby shower, and that's really about you becoming parents (not oh yay baby). Secondly, why should I buy shit that belongs on your grocery list? Diaper cream, really?? 

My SO thinks I'm overreacting (like I'm looking for reasons to be offended), which to be fair, I may do that often, but come on. I want to be supportive, but I'm not interested in buying things that should be in their monthly budget. Any ideas what I could get them? I'm kind of artsy, but I don't have a lot of time to pour into making something.

JoanE2012

I'd decline.  No gift needed for a decline.

southernbelle0915

I'm sure you're busy that day, aren't you?

lovegood90

southernbelle0915 said:

I'm sure you're busy that day, aren't you?

Yeah, there's that nasty cold going around too, are you sure you're feeling okay?

MobKaz

JoanE2012 said:

I'd decline.  No gift needed for a decline.

I would also decline.  This does not even sound like someone you are remotely close to in terms of a relationship.

 I am not a fan of showers for second, third or further babies.  If someone I am close to has a second child, I typically gift them of my own volition.  It might be something practical like diapers or formula, or even a restaurant gift card for the new parents to enjoy.  Having showers under these circumstances seems particularly gift grabby to me.

kvruns

too bad you already have plans that day

lifeisajourney

It's custom in my family and circle of friends to have showers for every baby. I never even knew it was against etiquette until I started visiting TK. Its interesting how sometimes people get away with things just because its always been done.

MairePoppy

I'm one that doesn't mind small, intimate showers for 2nd babies, although they aren't typical for my family and friends. I would buy small gifts like onesies, nightgowns, diapers etc...Since you're not close to the parents, you should decline with no explanation.

mlg78

I'm pretty sure you're tied up being on TK all day long.  What a shame.  I bet you're missing out on cake.

PowerDoc

Love some the responses. While I'm not personally close to them, SO's family is. It's a small get-together, so I'm "honored" to be invited, but I think I'm just sour grapes that SO isn't invited (he's closer, Godfather to their first child). I don't his mom to think poorly if me because this isn't considered an etiquette blunder. I still would like to go (perhaps against my better judgment), so I'm sorry for venting.

Thanks ladies!

novella1186

PowerDoc said:

Love some the responses. While I'm not personally close to them, SO's family is. It's a small get-together, so I'm "honored" to be invited, but I think I'm just sour grapes that SO isn't invited (he's closer, Godfather to their first child). I don't his mom to think poorly if me because this isn't considered an etiquette blunder. I still would like to go (perhaps against my better judgment), so I'm sorry for venting.

Thanks ladies!

Then I would just get them a big pack of diapers or something. 

mrscomposer

I'd side-eye the fact that they ASKED for consumables, but honestly, my standard baby shower gifts are things like diaper cream/wipes/diapers/receiving blankets/other things that get run through quickly.

And if you're invited and SO isn't, I'd just chalk it up to a nice way to get you included in the family.

huskypuppy14

I have no problems with "sprinkles" for second babies. However, that would be a very small group- like 6 friends or something. At sprinkles, usually the items are consumables (diapers, lotion, wipes)  and the mom doesn't register. The 2 sprinkles I've been to have been complete surprises to the the mom. 

I wouldn't go to a sprinkle or a baby shower for someone I wasn't close to. 

Jen4948

You never received the invitation. It got lost in the mail or it got caught in your spam filter.

SP29

I don't have a problem with second (third, or fourth) baby showers (I don't see it as a huge imposition- all babies are special, and it doesn't mean you have to spend a boat load of money), but it's up to you which gift you'd like to buy, or if you'd like to go at all.

I know it is never polite to ask for a specific gift, but I DO like to know what they already have vs. what they need (more so for a first baby)- because I like to buy "useful" gifts. Though I will personally ask this, and then make my own choice from there. 

Another option that I really like, is buying books. Not expensive, can be quite personal. My favourite childhood story growing up was Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss, so I often buy that as a shower gift. 

I'm invited to a friend's shower for her first baby next weekend. The host (her cousin) said that mom has already been given lots of hand-me-down clothes from her sisters' kids, but of course new clothes would never be turned down. Well, I already bought baby clothes as a gift long before I knew about the shower (was going to give them regardless), so that's what she is getting, but I'm also going to try to find Green Eggs and Ham.