Addressing invitations

sames52915

I am not too sure on how to address invitations for two different families.  First is my aunt, uncle & three cousins - I know everyone over 18 gets their own invitations, but the kids are 10, 15 & 17. We aren't using inner envelopes, so I cant list the kids on the inside, and I don't want to use "And Family" in the address. Do I just write everyone out on one invitation? Or send one to just the kids?  The other family is pretty much the same, except they have 4 kids who are all under 6. Obviously with this one I wouldn't send the kids their own invite, but is it ok to use "And Family"?   I'm not very good at figuring out all this formal stuff!

LtPowers

Miss Manners speaks (from her Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior):

Dear Miss Manners:

I heard someplace that I shouldn't put "and Family" or "and Guest" on my wedding invitation envelopes. Well, how else do I let them know everybody is invited? Also, why do I have to use two envelopes? It seems like a waste to me.

Gentle Reader:

Using "and Family" on your invitation is its own punishment. You cannot then complain if your sister-in-law's dog disturbed the ceremony, and you didn't know where to seat your bridegroom's best friend's stepgrandfather's new friend. The word "family" can be very broadly construed when free champagne is involved, and those who use "and Guest" on their invitations are courting disaster.

If you care enough to invite people to your wedding, you will find out each one's name and use it. You need not send an invitation to every man, woman, and child. You may send married (or otherwise cohabiting) couples a single invitation, and you may even include, beneath those of their parents, the names of daughters living at home, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Rhinehart Awful, junior

The Misses Awful

129 Primrose Path

Brookdale

Connecticut

Their brothers, "The Messrs. Awful," should be sent a separate invitation, even if they live at the same address. It is best not to include more than two adults in one invitation.

It is a treat for children under about age thirteen -- if you really want to invite them -- to receive a separate invitation addressed "The Misses and Messrs. Awful."

Hope this helps! Frankly, her comment about a separate invitation for the boys but not for the girls strikes me as antiquated at best, but the rest of the advice should be helpful.

Powers  &8^]

charcoalandblush

LtPowers said:

Miss Manners speaks (from her Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior):

Dear Miss Manners:

I heard someplace that I shouldn't put "and Family" or "and Guest" on my wedding invitation envelopes. Well, how else do I let them know everybody is invited? Also, why do I have to use two envelopes? It seems like a waste to me.

Gentle Reader:

Using "and Family" on your invitation is its own punishment. You cannot then complain if your sister-in-law's dog disturbed the ceremony, and you didn't know where to seat your bridegroom's best friend's stepgrandfather's new friend. The word "family" can be very broadly construed when free champagne is involved, and those who use "and Guest" on their invitations are courting disaster.

If you care enough to invite people to your wedding, you will find out each one's name and use it. You need not send an invitation to every man, woman, and child. You may send married (or otherwise cohabiting) couples a single invitation, and you may even include, beneath those of their parents, the names of daughters living at home, as in:

Mr. and Mrs. Jonathan Rhinehart Awful, junior

The Misses Awful

129 Primrose Path

Brookdale

Connecticut

Their brothers, "The Messrs. Awful," should be sent a separate invitation, even if they live at the same address. It is best not to include more than two adults in one invitation.

It is a treat for children under about age thirteen -- if you really want to invite them -- to receive a separate invitation addressed "The Misses and Messrs. Awful."

Hope this helps! Frankly, her comment about a separate invitation for the boys but not for the girls strikes me as antiquated at best, but the rest of the advice should be helpful.

Powers  &8^]

Apparently this is still a thing, some places. My MOH and her brother (both over 18) lived with her parents when I sent out my STDs. I sent one addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Moh Parents, one to Mr. Moh Brother, and Ms. My Moh. She asked me why I sent so many and I said that each adult child gets their own and she goes "No, that's only for men, women still living with their parents go on their parents invitations." I had never heard that before in my life, but I figured she must have gotten it from somewhere...

Regardless, I don't think it applies at all, much less to minor children.

I would do:

Mr. and Mrs. Wedding Guest

Master and Miss Guest

123 Main St.

City, State 12345

CMGragain

For a large family with five children, I inserted a handwritten note that said, "We are looking forward to seeing you at the wedding.  Jane, Judy, John, Joshua, and Jimmy are invited, too."

LtPowers

charcoalandblush said:

Apparently this is still a thing, some places. My MOH and her brother (both over 18) lived with her parents when I sent out my STDs. I sent one addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Moh Parents, one to Mr. Moh Brother, and Ms. My Moh. She asked me why I sent so many and I said that each adult child gets their own and she goes "No, that's only for men, women still living with their parents go on their parents invitations." I had never heard that before in my life, but I figured she must have gotten it from somewhere...

Regardless, I don't think it applies at all, much less to minor children.

I would do:

Mr. and Mrs. Wedding Guest

Master and Miss Guest

123 Main St.

City, State 12345

That's fair, but the "Master and Miss Guest" line is rather awkward, as it parallels the usual form for married couples.

CMGragain

Mr. and Mrs. George Wedding Guest

Master John Guest and Miss Jane Guest

123 Main St.

City, State 12345

The title "Master" is only used for little boys under the age of twelve.  At 13, their title becomes "Mr."  The title "Miss" is used for a never-married girl of any age.

sames52915

thanks for help!