Budget Weddings Forum

Distant relatives, who to invite?

I'm inviting my Aunt, who lives in Ohio, (I'm in FL), knowing she's 83 and does not travel. She's a courtesy invite so to speak, because I would want her there, even though I know she won't come. I've kept up with her, and talked to her frequently throughout my life. Now, her kids, grandkids, as well as a sister of hers (my other aunt), I have not seen or spoken to since I was 14, and lived up there, around the corner from them. Do I have to invite them? I literally have not seen them or spoken to them, not a Christmas card, nothing, in 14 years. Is it alright to invite my Aunt, but not her family?

Re: Distant relatives, who to invite?

  • I personally think it's fine.  Based on your post, because it has been 14 years, if you do invite them, they might see the invitation as a gift grabbing gesture versus a sincere invitation.  I don't think a family line should automatically dictate the guests on an invitation list. 
  • You don't "have" to invite anyone you don't want there. I wouldn't be concerned about it --- go ahead & invite just your aunt and don't feel bad about it. 
  • I wouldn't. I stronly believe in only inviting people that you care about and not people for the sake of blood family or hurt feelings. Hell, I had just my parents, grandparents, and 2 friends. No aunts, uncles, cousins because I see them once a year and to me that's not a relationship.



  • Go ahead and invite your aunt,.
  • No, you don't have to invite the whole family. However, it might be nice to give your aunt a +1 so that she could bring a traveling companion if she decides to come.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • I agree with PPs in that you should not be obligated to invite everyone to your wedding. The only caveat being who is paying. Are your parents or FILs paying for the wedding? If so, remember that they get a say in who is invited. I have a large extended family, half of whom I haven't seen nor spoken to in over 15 years. And while I would rather not invite most of them because I just don't have a relationship with them, I *have* to at least invite them because my parents are paying for most of the reception and that's what they want.
                                     Wedding Countdown Ticker

  • blabla89 said:
    No, you don't have to invite the whole family. However, it might be nice to give your aunt a +1 so that she could bring a traveling companion if she decides to come.

  • I had a similar situation. My grandmas siblings (my great aunts and uncle) are invited but their children are not. My mom brought up inviting them. They are her first cousins but I don't know any of them at all and it would be a lot of people. Mom was ok with it and has just been telling people im having a small wedding in case someone wondered why their children weren't invited too. All of my great aunts/uncle are widowed except for one so I made sure to account for an escort for each one to be safe. I doubt any of them will come anyway seeing as it is 2 hours away and on s Friday night and they're all 80-90 years old but hey you never know.
  • I would definitely give her a plus one, but I would not invite people I haven't had contact with in over a decade.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Why would you be obligated to invite her family? Are you inviting all your friends' parents and siblings? Nope, just cut your list off at the "one degree of separation" aka people you actually know, and their SO/guest. Perfectly fine.

  • edited February 2015
    I agree with PPs. Invite your aunt (and a plus one), and don't worry about not inviting her family!
  • Thanks everyone. You confirmed my instincts to not invite them. My fiancé and I are the only ones paying for the wedding, so the guest list is already painful at 108. He has a HUGE close-knit family. Which is awesome, any time you're not buying them all dinner and drinks!! Hahaha.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards