Not Engaged Yet

bad got worse... or maybe better?

lilacck28lilacck28 member
500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
edited February 2015 in Not Engaged Yet
forced to resign :(

Re: bad got worse... or maybe better?

  • I'm confused.  Why did you agree to resign?  Why didn't you say, "If you are displeased with my performance, you can terminate me."?

    It might be worth filing for unemployment anyway and then letting them know that it was a forced resignation that was tantamount to a resignation.

    Hugs.  I'm sorry this happened to you.  Job stress is not fun. 
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015
    That was basically what my letter was. "You gave me these two untenable choices. I consider myself terminated." 

    He responded back saying "you're not terminated.. .you can still work here" because he NEVER (technically?) fires anyone. I'm going to try filing for unemployment but... who knows. 
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer

    *hugs* I'm so sorry. He sounds like an ass! Honestly, it sounds like this will end up being a good thing. Your mental health is so important and it sounds like this job was really adversely affecting it. Take this opportunity to find something that will make you happy.

    Don't let his negative words impact you too much. Like you said, a month ago he was telling you how great you are. You know who you are. You know what you are capable of, don't let anybody tell you they know better than you do!



    lilacck28
  • He seems like a REAL prize.  :(
    lilacck28
  • eilis1228eilis1228 Southwest member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Wow! Just wow. *hugs* Sounds like this will be the best for you in the longrun though.


    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    lilacck28
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015
    Thanks guys. Trying to remember that I am not horrible, and that this is a good thing! In these early days, it's hard to! 

    I'm going to do more household chores, and start going to the gym at our apartment club house. So that's good. But finding enough to do in the day to keep my mind off things is difficult. And reading/ watching tv/ knotting doesn't really feel good anymore! Hopefully it will again soon. 

    I wish the types of jobs that i think I'm better suited for were easier to find! (teaching, working in an academic/ art setting.)

    @bethsmiles you started a new job a bank recently right? (or have I totally confused with you someone else?) How is that going after being in the teaching field? 
  • @lilacck28 - I sent you a PM, but...all the hugs to you.  This will get better, I promise.
  • phiraphira Bahstin member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    Wow. I am SO sorry that this happened to you: both the toxic working environment and the forced resignation. This is really awful.

    I think it's wonderful that you're looking at the silver lining (that you don't have to work with this HORRIBLE, AWFUL person anymore), but this is definitely one of those times when the silver lining will be much more wonderful later, once you've got distance.

    All the hugs, and if you need anything (someone to vent to, someone to help with a job search), don't hesitate to ask!
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • Dignity100Dignity100 Northeastern Ohio member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Hope you find a new job soon with people who appreciate you!


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    Anniversary
  • lmcooper86lmcooper86 Toronto member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Aw lilacck I am so sorry. That's really horrible, I'm sorry you were put in that impossible position. Lots of hugs and wine for you. Take it easy this weekend and get a fresh start job hunting next week.

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  • bethsmilesbethsmiles Denver, CO member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited February 2015

    @lilacck28 - I did! I go back and forth about it. I had a mini-break down earlier this week about not knowing what I really want to do with my life. This job is definitely not something I can do forever. I'm thinking about a PhD but I want to wait until we know where BF will be for his and I am liking the break from school. I do miss teaching but I can't deal with the stress of teaching community college so if I decide I want to teach then I'm going to have to get a PhD so I can be at a university.

    I'm thinking about applying to teach night classes or maybe online classes for a little extra income and for the opportunity to be in the classroom again.

    ETA: This job is good for the financial stability/low stress I need while I try to figure out what I really want. So even if it's not forever, I think it's what I need right now.



  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015
    @bethsmiles

    Yeah, I understand COMPLETELY. You'll figure it out!  In my case, my boss was very odd, and I felt uncomfortable and then got really anxious... and the state was funding my job for the first six months. If I have read up on the program properly, for the first 2 or 3 months the boss only had to pay me a little over a dollar bi-weekly out of his pocket. So, this could have been the plan from the get go. I've worked a little over 5 months there. 

    I feel not so panicky right now, more a little sad. Thanks all. It helps to hear well wishes and that it seems like its actually a good thing that happened in the long run, and that you think I'll be able to find something else!

    @phira - thank you so much! I will likely take you up on that offer! 

    ps- I forgot about this post I wrote and did some other things before "publishing." I'm feeling SO much better right now, in this moment. And I have to remember--- I at least have a summer job I love! And a part time job from early March- early May! And then I get married at the end of May! it will work out, it will work out. Have to repeat that. 
    [Deleted User]speakeasy14justbeingme93
  • AuroraRose41AuroraRose41 New York member
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Awww sending you lots of hugs! I'm so sorry! But at least there is a silver lining (not having to work with that guy anymore!) and you can hopefully find a job that you like more! Have some wine/margaritas/cocktail of choice tonight too :).

  • speakeasy14speakeasy14 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2015
    Sending lots of hugs your way. That was a toxic environment and you're better off being far away from that place. Definitely file for unemployment.

    When you're ready to start looking, send me a pm. Not sure if it would be something you'd be interested in, but I believe my company is hiring in your area, so I may be able to help out.

    ETA sorry can't type on mobile
    image
    lilacck28
  • lilacck28lilacck28 member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    edited February 2015

    @speakeasy14 Thank you! Sent you a PM! I'd love to hear about your company, and I'd be happy to send you my resume and anything else you may need :) 
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