Registry Question

lovemesomemonster

FI and I have lived together for 6 years, we own two houses and we are adults, so if we need something we go get it. With the exception of the it would be nice to have things like some new towels or kitchen utensils I am at a loss of what to register for. The only things we "need" are things like interior doors for the new house or door hinges! I know some relatives have already asked about where we are registering and want to get us something, I don't want to get a lot of things we don't need because I feel like that is a waste of money for them! For a couple that doesn't need a lot is it totally cheesy to just register for towels, sheets, and kitchen utensils? 

I do not expect gifts, and I don't really want people to buy them for us... I just know my family and how they do weddings and there is no stopping them!

Liatris2010

A small registry is fine, athough if you dont register for much you might decline any showers you are offered. What about registering for ugrades, formal china, fancy/fun appliances (stand mixer, ice cream maker, bread machine)?

lovemesomemonster

I had thought about those as well since that seems to be a normal suggestion.. but we have new dishes, nice pots and pans, two crock pots, a pressure cooker, a stand mixer I never use and plan to give away (I could go on and on).. I just feel awkward asking for anything! The only reason I want a wedding is an excuse to get the family together for a FUN time! Same reason I like Christmas, family time.. it bothers me to have anyone spend money on things that are not necessary (and I already have two sets of very expensive formal china passed to me from the family). 

I also live out of state from most of my friends and family, the girls want to do a shower and I would like an excuse to get everyone together but I DO NOT want anyone buying anything for it! I wish there was an "approved" way to say "SERIOUSLY just show up, you being there is the best gift you could give me"..

I just feel like I'm an adult, if I want a fun extra for my kitchen I will buy it, I don't want to "ask" for it! But I know some people like to bring gifts.

erinlin25

small registry is totally fine.  I would probably decline a shower in that case though since the point of those are to "shower you with gifts" so if there is not a lot of gifts to choose from then a shower will be pointless.

Just register for what you need. And you never know you may seem some decorative items that you like in the process or some "upgrades" of other items.  You are correct that people do want to give a gift, even though it is not required and you might at well get something that you would like. You mentioned doors and hinges-- you can always register at home depot/lowes type store-- or just spread the word that you guys are looking forward to some home improvement projects (hint hint they will most likely give cash or a check). 

TheArtemisMoon

Those are some good ideas. I was struggling with a similar situation. I've been on my own since I was 18 (I'm now 29) and yet I only have part of the typical registry items. My fiance has also been on his own for over 10 years but he too has lived alone most of that time and has very little of the typical registry items. We both own our own homes and because of that, most people assume we already have everything. I was wondering if it would be acceptable to set up a registry for the things we don't have.

JoanE2012

Knottie8942929 said:

Those are some good ideas. I was struggling with a similar situation. I've been on my own since I was 18 (I'm now 29) and yet I only have part of the typical registry items. My fiance has also been on his own for over 10 years but he too has lived alone most of that time and has very little of the typical registry items. We both own our own homes and because of that, most people assume we already have everything. I was wondering if it would be acceptable to set up a registry for the things we don't have.

Absoluely.  DH and I were not married until our mid 30s.  We were each on our own for over a decade.  We still had a full registry.  Not only things we didn't have, but upgrades like new towels, new sheet sets, new baking pans, better steak knives, replaced our plastic storage containers with glass, etc.  Go ahead and register!

lovemesomemonster

erinlin25 said:

small registry is totally fine.  I would probably decline a shower in that case though since the point of those are to "shower you with gifts" so if there is not a lot of gifts to choose from then a shower will be pointless.

Just register for what you need. And you never know you may seem some decorative items that you like in the process or some "upgrades" of other items.  You are correct that people do want to give a gift, even though it is not required and you might at well get something that you would like. You mentioned doors and hinges-- you can always register at home depot/lowes type store-- or just spread the word that you guys are looking forward to some home improvement projects (hint hint they will most likely give cash or a check). 

Thanks for the advice.. my MOH wants to host more of a "party" like I did for her.. we invited all the guys as well and it was just a fun day or yard games, drinks, and food. So I think we will just do a "let's get together for a good time" party instead of call it a shower. And if there is a Home Depot registry I would be all over that! I just don't want people spending money on things that won't be used or we don't really use, everyone works hard for what they have and if they are spending that hard earned money on me I wanted it to be something that will get use!

theartistformerlyknownas

JoanE2012 said:

Knottie8942929 said:

Those are some good ideas. I was struggling with a similar situation. I've been on my own since I was 18 (I'm now 29) and yet I only have part of the typical registry items. My fiance has also been on his own for over 10 years but he too has lived alone most of that time and has very little of the typical registry items. We both own our own homes and because of that, most people assume we already have everything. I was wondering if it would be acceptable to set up a registry for the things we don't have.

Absoluely.  DH and I were not married until our mid 30s.  We were each on our own for over a decade.  We still had a full registry.  Not only things we didn't have, but upgrades like new towels, new sheet sets, new baking pans, better steak knives, replaced our plastic storage containers with glass, etc.  Go ahead and register!

Ditto this. We got married in our 30s, and lived in a house that H owned... but that didn't mean we had nice versions of most things. I just skipped the things we did have (pots and pans, stand mixer) and registered for upgrades to our old hand-me-down, garage sale, mismatched crap.

SP29

A small registry is just fine! Upgrades are always good though.

With a small registry people will get the hint that cash is a good idea.

Instead of a shower, you could have a bridal tea or luncheon.