Choosing between two best friends???

TheArtemisMoon

How do I choose who will be the MOH between my two best friends (who, conveniently enough, do not get along)?! Friend A: has been my friend since we were 12 but we lost touch after high school and have only reconnected in the last two years. Friend B: has been my friend since we were 14, also lost touch with her until about three years ago.  I am closer with Friend B in certain ways, i.e. I talk to her every day. I don't talk to Friend A daily but when we do talk, it's like we never lost touch. To further complicate matters, I do not have a sister, aunt, or cousin who could stand in as MOH so that I don't have to pick (aka play favorites). Nor does my fiance have a sister. My niece is only six so I can't pick her and I don't care for my sister-in-law. Would it be too weird to have my mom as MOH (especially since I was her MOH in her second wedding)?

STARMOON44

Why can't you just have the two of them as your bridesmaids and no maid of honor?

artbyallie

How does your niece being 6 disqualify her from being MOH? All she has to do is walk down the aisle.

charcoalandblush

They are adults, they can play nice for one day for your wedding. If you want them both to be co-maids-of-honor, that's fine. It's also fine to have them both be bridesmaids and no MOH. Or have them both be bridesmaids and your mom be your MOH. It really doesn't matter. There's no rule on who can or can't be your MOH or how many you can have.

AddieCake

Have them both or have no MOH. Problem solved.

mlg78

Have them both be MOH or both be BM...don't choose one over the other, especially if they don't get along. I can see the MOH having some fucked up superiority complex over the other one...because some women just get bat shit crazy like that.

[Deleted User]

Have them both be MOH and tell them if they cant get along, they wont be in the wedding. I dont see a problem with having your mom be MOH though.

JoanE2012

Knottie8942929 said:

How do I choose who will be the MOH between my two best friends (who, conveniently enough, do not get along)?! Friend A: has been my friend since we were 12 but we lost touch after high school and have only reconnected in the last two years. Friend B: has been my friend since we were 14, also lost touch with her until about three years ago.  I am closer with Friend B in certain ways, i.e. I talk to her every day. I don't talk to Friend A daily but when we do talk, it's like we never lost touch. To further complicate matters, I do not have a sister, aunt, or cousin who could stand in as MOH so that I don't have to pick (aka play favorites). Nor does my fiance have a sister. My niece is only six so I can't pick her and I don't care for my sister-in-law. Would it be too weird to have my mom as MOH (especially since I was her MOH in her second wedding)?

Have both be MOH.  There's no rule that states there can only be one.  There's no extra job with this title.  Or, just have both be BMs.  No big deal.

Viczaesar

PrettyGirlLost

JoanE2012 said:

Knottie8942929 said:

How do I choose who will be the MOH between my two best friends (who, conveniently enough, do not get along)?! Friend A: has been my friend since we were 12 but we lost touch after high school and have only reconnected in the last two years. Friend B: has been my friend since we were 14, also lost touch with her until about three years ago.  I am closer with Friend B in certain ways, i.e. I talk to her every day. I don't talk to Friend A daily but when we do talk, it's like we never lost touch. To further complicate matters, I do not have a sister, aunt, or cousin who could stand in as MOH so that I don't have to pick (aka play favorites). Nor does my fiance have a sister. My niece is only six so I can't pick her and I don't care for my sister-in-law. Would it be too weird to have my mom as MOH (especially since I was her MOH in her second wedding)?

Have both be MOH.  There's no rule that states there can only be one.  There's no extra job with this title.  Or, just have both be BMs.  No big deal.

Unless they are Highlanders. . .



Or unless you are having a Catholic mass- depending on the church, most only allow one MOH and one Best Man up on the altar with the bride and groom.

kfbanta

I am having both of my best friends be my MOHs.  I could never pick between the two, they are both my best friends for completely different reasons.  I am very happy I decided to have them share the title, that way they know how special they both are to me!  I would rather have 2 then none. 

TheArtemisMoon

Thanks for the good ideas!

vmj23

I didn't have any MOH..all 3 of my BMs were equally important to me. 

princessleia22

I had two MOH's... and I had my mom sign marriage license as witness instead of MOH.

TheArtemisMoon

I need her to be the flower girl. But I have it under control now. We ended up picking a venue that was kind of small and decided to give up the bridal party except ring bearer and flower girl.

TheArtemisMoon

Knottie8942929 said:

Thanks for all the suggestions. We decided to give up the whole bridal party except the ring bearer and flower girl. Turns out of one of my best friends will be seven months pregnant and she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to find a bridesmaid dress that would fit her very well so it all worked out after all!

levioosa

Knottie8942929 said:

Knottie8942929 said:

Thanks for all the suggestions. We decided to give up the whole bridal party except the ring bearer and flower girl. Turns out of one of my best friends will be seven months pregnant and she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to find a bridesmaid dress that would fit her very well so it all worked out after all!

UGH. 

TrixieJess

Knottie8942929 said:

Knottie8942929 said:

Thanks for all the suggestions. We decided to give up the whole bridal party except the ring bearer and flower girl. Turns out of one of my best friends will be seven months pregnant and she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to find a bridesmaid dress that would fit her very well so it all worked out after all!

Seriously? My girlfriend who got married had another friend in her wedding who was 8 months pregnant. Lots of people have pregnant bridesmaids. Some are even pregnant brides.

littlepep

TrixieJess said:

Knottie8942929 said:

Knottie8942929 said:

Thanks for all the suggestions. We decided to give up the whole bridal party except the ring bearer and flower girl. Turns out of one of my best friends will be seven months pregnant and she wasn't entirely sure she'd be able to find a bridesmaid dress that would fit her very well so it all worked out after all!

Seriously? My girlfriend who got married had another friend in her wedding who was 8 months pregnant. Lots of people have pregnant bridesmaids. Some are even pregnant brides.

Yup. One of my bridesmaids is going to be 8 months pregnant. She just asked if she could wear a long version of the dress because she would feel more comfortable and I said of course. And I told her I'd have a chair in case she wants to sit down at the front. NBD. 

southernbelle0915

Y'all... Chill.  It sounds like the BM was the one who didn't want to do it because of the dress. That's her choice. 

It doesn't reflect poorly on the OP at all unless she was like "well I want you in this fitted, satin, strapless dress, so either fit into it or get out of my wedding party." Which is apparently not how it went down.

TheArtemisMoon

I guess I didn't make myself clear. The dress is an issue. I could care less that my best friend is going to be pregnant during my wedding. But in case you haven't seen the cost of maternity dresses and the slack selection, take a look sometime. My original situation was who to make the maid of honor and who would be bridesmaids because I have three best friends. The comments really got off on a rabbit trail. It doesn't matter now anyway because my fiance and I are only having a ring bearer and flower girl. 

TheArtemisMoon

Exactly!!! Thank you!

TrixieJess

TheArtemisMoon said:

I guess I didn't make myself clear. The dress is an issue. I could care less that my best friend is going to be pregnant during my wedding. But in case you haven't seen the cost of maternity dresses and the slack selection, take a look sometime. My original situation was who to make the maid of honor and who would be bridesmaids because I have three best friends. The comments really got off on a rabbit trail. It doesn't matter now anyway because my fiance and I are only having a ring bearer and flower girl. 

I never wore a "maternity dress" while I was pregnant. I wore several empire waisted jersey dresses (best invention ever). I also didn't wear "maternity clothes" until I was 8 months pregnant. I paid less than $100 for ALL of my maternity clothes. I looked in consignment stores, online and asked friends. I also didn't buy "maternity". There are ways around costs in all areas. If that is what was holding you back there are always ways around it. 

PS I couldn't wear typical "maternity clothes" I'm 5'11" and a size 4. The stores where I am don't carry clothes for women above 5'8". I wore a belly band until I was 8 months pregnant then I was off on sick leave, and in sweat pants and maternity tops. 

TheArtemisMoon

Unfortunately for my friend, who is 5' 5" and size 16 when not pregnant, continuing to wear regular clothes isn't a very viable option for much longer (she said her clothes are already starting to feel a little snug). This is her third baby and she tends to get a large belly early on in the pregnancy. Plus she isn't allowed to wear casual clothes to work, there goes the sweat pants and jersey knits. In our area, options are pretty limited regardless of what type of maternity clothing your looking for. She also doesn't like to buy clothing online since she can't try it on and a lot of that is non-returnable. Thanks for the suggestions anyway though. 

artbyallie

I don't get why you couldn't just say, "Friend, I love you and want you beside me when I get married no matter what you're wearing."

And, for the record, a lot of clothing that can be ordered online nowadays is in fact returnable. There are several websites that specifically make their return process as easy as possible with free shipping etc. because it helps them get and retain customers.

But I guess all this is moot anyway since you decided not to have adults in the wedding party after all.