So, how do we feel?

KytchynWitche

I was hanging out with a friend of mine yesterday and they mentioned an acquaintance of theirs (cousin of a friend, kinda thing) had recently (meaning within the last year or so) gotten married. I'll call the acquaintance "A", just so I don't have to keep typing acquaintance.

A is from the US, but was studying in the UK. A met their soul mate while in the UK, and they married in the UK. They invited A's family and friends from the US, but with cost of travel etc, it wasn't really viable for them to attend. 

When A (and partner) returned to the US a little while later, A's family (I'm not entirely sure who, but I assume parents) threw a party for them. No one wore bridal attire, no vows or rings were exchanged, no cake cutting or spotlight dances or such, but some toasts were raised, and (to my knowledge, I did get this info third-hand after all) the invitations were to a "party in celebration of the marriage of".

How does TK feel about this? I think it's okay. I mean, it's just a party in their honour, not a rehash or a "we're already married but we're going to pretend to get married again". But I want to know what you think!

PS. I know I've been really bad with the post-and-runs lately (stupid time zones) but I'll definitely be back in the next couple of hours (after I've run some errands) so please forgive me!

loro929

I think this is 100% fine. I have been to these types of parties and I thought they were beautiful and happy/joyous occasions.

I think it is normal that the newly married couple's family on the other side of the world would want to celebrate their union too.

I don't really see what exactly you thought problematic with this party?

charlottesmom0626

Yeah, I see nothing wrong with this.

AddieCake

This topic is discussed constantly here. It's fine.

ETA: I don't like the "reception/party tours" when they are state to state, but international stuff like this makes sense.

RebeccaFlower

I think international/cross country is fine. I think if it's a couple hours drive and you chose a venue that people didn't want to ride to, just forget it. 

theartistformerlyknownas

Why would anyone have a problem with this?

Anyone is free to throw a party for me whenever and wherever they want, especially if there is cake involved.

firebabe6519

I don't see why there would be problems with this.

FiancB

I like it. We had friends get married in Mexico and we couldn't attend, so they also had appetizers and drinks in a party room at a bar. We were glad to be able to go. She also wore her dress and we watched videos of the reception, but that was as wedding-ey as it got. It was nice to still be able to celebrate their marriage with them. 

If you were to go through a fake ceremony again that's the only time I'd really have an issue with it. 

LadyMillil

I have no problem with this. It may be an UO but I also would be okay with it if they wore their bridal attire, cut the cake, and opened the dance floor.

VulgarGirl

Was there cake?

KytchynWitche

MagicInk said:

Was there cake?

I'm sure there was, even if they didn't do a cake cutting thing. After all, what's a party without cake? I can't say for sure thought. I mean, I only have the details my friend provided, and they weren't actually involved in the event...

loro929 said:

I think this is 100% fine. I have been to these types of parties and I thought they were beautiful and happy/joyous occasions.

I think it is normal that the newly married couple's family on the other side of the world would want to celebrate their union too.

I don't really see what exactly you thought problematic with this party?

I don't think anything problematic, I'm actually of the same opinion as you. My friend, however... Well, they didn't say anything specifically, but sort of reading between the lines it came off as though they think it's a little AW-ish. So I was just sort of wondering what the general consensus was on it. Not a big issue or anything.

***

Okay, so, follow up question: (this bit is purely hypothetical) does/would it make a difference to your opinion if the party was hosted by the couple themselves as opposed to family/friends?

lyndausvi

As long as I'm hosted properly I have no problem with this at all.

I would side-eye wedding attire, special dances, re-saying their vows for show.

Most parties have cake.  Most events that have cake have a ceremonial cutting also.  So I don't see that as an issue either.

falsara

 

Okay, so, follow up question: (this bit is purely hypothetical) does/would it make a difference to your opinion if the party was hosted by the couple themselves as opposed to family/friends?

I don't think so in this case.  It was international wedding.  After living overseas there probably would have been a sort of Welcome Back party anyway, even if it was thrown by the couple themselves it easily could have been a "Hey we missed everyone and want to see you guys, want to come hang out at our place."  If it then ended up that the relatives wanted to pay attention to their new status as a married couple then, that up to the relatives.