Gap between ceremony and reception

pce515

Hi!

What is the average time between ceremony and reception? My reception is about 30 minutes or a little more from where the church is. My church is 2:30 and reception isn't until 6:30. Do you all think that gap is normal? We will have a lot of guests from out of town, so I wanted to give them time to go check in, etc... What are your thoughts? Is that too long?

JCbride2015

pce515 said:

Hi!

What is the average time between ceremony and reception? My reception is about 30 minutes or a little more from where the church is. My church is 2:30 and reception isn't until 6:30. Do you all think that gap is normal? We will have a lot of guests from out of town, so I wanted to give them time to go check in, etc... What are your thoughts? Is that too long?

No, that's not normal and in fact is extremely rude. Sorry but that is very disrespectful of your guests' time. You must have no gap between ceremony and cocktail hour. Can you move the reception up closer to the ceremony? How long will your ceremony be? I would hope you have not booked your reception yet because this time just does not work for you.

Jeannine12

we have the same gap between church (full hour mass) and reception.  Our church will be from 2:30-3:30 and figure by the time people leave church it iwll be closer to 4..and cocktail hour at 6:30.  You have to see what works best logistically with you...but we have been to many weddings that the gap is the same.  And if guest have an issue with it then they will just go to your reception.  

ohmrs2014

Gaps are considered rude.  What will the guests do if they don't have to check in to a hotel?  And I doubt the guests will get the reception that far in advance.  Chances are there will be nothing set up that early.  

Do you plan on hosting the guests somewhere in between the ceremony and reception?  Thats the only way your gap won't be considered rude.

love0208

Our wedding is the same time...our whole thing is we dont want to rush!  I have aproximately 180 guest, We have some families coming from out of the state and out of the country...the hotel is five minutes away from the reception and 'in town' families lives at max 10 minutes away from the church....some can walk home from the church....Although my family members advised me this isn't necessary, I am going to have really light refreshments after ceremony...

We are going to have a procession line at the church and formally greet all family members because once we get to the reception it is party time.

I don't want to go through my day looking at my clock all day....I am not taking pictures at the venue and I don't want to rush through my pictures...We want to really enjoy our day...

Also just keep in mind that adds on to your time for transportation which means more money...Typically the transportation automatically includes aprox 3 hours in their initial quotes...I needed my cars for 5 hours, I have 2 so that means I had to add a total of 2 hours each car, just something to think about.

You are going to get mixed answers on this, some positive some negative...just remember that ultimately it is YOUR choice, you do what is best for YOU & YOUR family !!!! If your family members are flying in the day of, then yes, this is a smart choice to give them time to check in etc...Again as I stated in other post, speak to your closest family members who will give you their honest, sincere opinion....then you and your fiance talk to each other to see what elements of this gap is most important to the the 2 of you...

Cookie Pusher

A wedding with an unhosted gap would require your guests to find something to do to occupy their time. Which may include sitting down for a snack and a drink. Or two. Or ten. I mean, 2.5 hours is a LONG time. I wouldn't be surprised if there were some grumpy/tipsy/hangry folks showing up to your reception.

ohmrs2014

The only two weddings I have been to with a gap were my cousins.  And the only reason why we went to the ceremony was because the Church was around the corner from our house.  We went to the ceremony in our Sunday best and then went home and got ready for the reception, with one of their receptions being in NY, Upstate NY at that.  

I can't imagine all of the other guests who had nothing to do when they arrived at the reception hall way too early and the reception hall wasn't ready for their arrival yet.

pce515

thanks everyone!

JoanE2012

Please don't have a gap.  Either move your ceremony up or push the reception back.  If you need to take pictures, you can take some before the ceremony (even if you don't want a first look, you can still get many of the bridal party photos done) or immediately after the ceremony when the guests are at a cocktail hour.  

As a guest, I find it incredibly rude, annoying and a waste of my time to be sitting around for hours because of a "vision" that the bride and groom has.  And if the gap/distance is really bad, I might even make a game day decision and skip the reception.  The ceremony is all about the bride and groom, but the reception is for your guests......it's your "thank you" to them.  Don't thank them by letting them twiddle their thumbs for hours.  Treat them right.

PrettyGirlLost

pce515 said:

Hi! What is the average time between ceremony and reception? My reception is about 30 minutes or a little more from where the church is. My church is 2:30 and reception isn't until 6:30. Do you all think that gap is normal? We will have a lot of guests from out of town, so I wanted to give them time to go check in, etc... What are your thoughts? Is that too long?

Please, please, please, DO NOT have a gap.  It is disrespectful of your guests' time, it's boring for them, and it totally disrupts the flow of the day. . . after your wedding ceremony I am ready to eat and start partying!  Nothing kills that mood better than having to dick around for several hours killing time after the ceremony.

And no- no one likes gaps, nor does anyone need or want to freshen up or change after your wedding ceremony. 

jerseykisses

I'm in the same boat as you and I presume it's for the same reason - Catholic churches tend to only allow ceremonies before a certain time on Saturdays, thus causing a gap if you have an evening reception. I've been to MANY weddings that have this same "issue" and it's honestly never been a bother nor did anyone consider it rude. It's simply not an option in my instance since my FI and I have decided to get married in the church versus the reception location. If anything, you may just have a lower attendance at church but don't let that stress you. I'm finding that those who go to the church will most likely then check-in to the hotel, since they will be taking the shuttle from there to the venue anyway. My venue also has a darling "pre-cocktail" set-up area for those who arrive before cocktail hour - maybe see if your venue can do something like that. Don't let it eat you up!

JoanE2012

jerseykisses said:

I'm in the same boat as you and I presume it's for the same reason - Catholic churches tend to only allow ceremonies before a certain time on Saturdays, thus causing a gap if you have an evening reception. I've been to MANY weddings that have this same "issue" and it's honestly never been a bother nor did anyone consider it rude. It's simply not an option in my instance since my FI and I have decided to get married in the church versus the reception location. If anything, you may just have a lower attendance at church but don't let that stress you. I'm finding that those who go to the church will most likely then check-in to the hotel, since they will be taking the shuttle from there to the venue anyway. My venue also has a darling "pre-cocktail" set-up area for those who arrive before cocktail hour - maybe see if your venue can do something like that. Don't let it eat you up!

No, your option was to have an earlier reception.  The problem is you chose your vision of an evening reception over caring about hosting your guests properly.  Who cares if the guests have to wait hours until the reception, right?  Nice.

futuremrsr2017

While I am not a fan of gaps, it will be what will work best for you and your fiance. I say to put yourself in your guests shoes and see how you would feel with that large of a gap. If you are still okay with it, then see if you can find something for them to do while they wait for the reception to commence. Maybe they could join you and your fiance at where ever you will take your pictures, maybe have a picnic in the park or something. Kind of lame ideas but you get my drift. I would probably try to stay in a relatively close distance to the reception venue so your guests will not have to travel too much. In addition, you know your guests and what they will be enraged about and what they will tolerate. Speak to a few older guests and receive their input.

chraron

while I agree, the gap can be inconvenient for some guests - sometimes its necessary to ensure everything going according to plan.  Don't stress about it. I definitely think the trend it going towards downtime between the ceremony and reeption which really helps when guests need to check into a hotel for the evening - no one wants to do it after the reception!

Also, if there is a lot of family from out of town - it gives them dedicated time to mingle and catch up with people they haven't seen in ages. There is often too much going on during the actual reception for people to talk to everyone they want to.

That being said, it would definitely be an appreciated guesture to you to host something small (maybe at the hotel) in between the 2 events - for those that may have no where to go it is a little extra that will help your guests feel welcome, even if it's just snacks, soda, and a place to sit for a little bit.

ohmrs2014

A gap is never necessary.  I didn't have a gap and everything went accordingly just fine.  

Though I agree with PPs, hosting something small for your guests would most likely be greatly appreciated.

jerseykisses

Actually@JoanE2012, my sister had a morning/day wedding with a Catholic church ceremony with the reception immediately following and everyone actually complained that it was difficult for those who were out of town to make it to the ceremony so early! So it doesn't always work like that. I'm also assuming you are not familiar with the Catholic church and how it schedules wedding services, as I'm noticing is a common theme in this thread. With that said, there's no point in explaining why a gap is really unavoidable with a Catholic church on Saturdays and is not usually dictated by the bride - because obviously I wouldn't have a gap if it was an option! 

JoanE2012

jerseykisses said:

Actually@JoanE2012, my sister had a morning/day wedding with a Catholic church ceremony with the reception immediately following and everyone actually complained that it was difficult for those who were out of town to make it to the ceremony so early! So it doesn't always work like that. I'm also assuming you are not familiar with the Catholic church and how it schedules wedding services, as I'm noticing is a common theme in this thread. With that said, there's no point in explaining why a gap is really unavoidable with a Catholic church on Saturdays and is not usually dictated by the bride - because obviously I wouldn't have a gap if it was an option! 

I'm not mentioning anything about the ceremony start time.....I'm talking about the reception start time.  She hosted her guests properly by having the reception immediately following the ceremony.   Imagine how much more grumbling there would have been if she waited 6 hours to have an evening reception!   

Gaps can be avoided by finding a venue that will accommodate an earlier reception.  It's not hard.  I've been to several Catholic weddings in NJ that had a reception that started earlier.  Unfortunately, couples are swayed into a "vision" and an attitude of "well, everyone else does so so can I" and that trumps the comfort and convenience for their guests. 

Sweetemotion06

By October 2015, I will have been to 10 weddings (all in NJ) in a two-year span and 8 of those had/are going to have a gap between the ceremony and reception because they were Catholic weddings. I think your gap is completely fine, as I've been to ceremonies that start at 1pm and the reception is at 6, and your gap is much smaller than that. I understand that some people choose afternoon receptions for budgetary or other reasons, but as a guest, I would much prefer a nighttime reception with a gap in between. As PPs said, hosting something small in between is nice if you'll have some guests who can't go home and aren't staying over. It looks like people here have a different opinion on the gap, but I've never personally heard anyone complain about it. The only thing I've noticed is that some people skip the ceremony and only go to the reception. The gap just seems normal to me when you have a Catholic wedding.

Cookie Pusher

I've been to over 20 weddings in NJ. More than half were at a Catholic church. Only one had a gap. No one complained to the B&G or their parents... but there was quite a bit of complaining among guests as we sat outside the venue because they would not let us in at the exact start time of the reception. More than a few of us were drinking from the bottle of Jack I had smartly put in my trunk. We may have been more than a bit tipsy since none of us had eaten since before the ceremony.

JoanE2012

Sweetemotion06 said:

By October 2015, I will have been to 10 weddings (all in NJ) in a two-year span and 8 of those had/are going to have a gap between the ceremony and reception because they were Catholic weddings. I think your gap is completely fine, as I've been to ceremonies that start at 1pm and the reception is at 6, and your gap is much smaller than that. I understand that some people choose afternoon receptions for budgetary or other reasons, but as a guest, I would much prefer a nighttime reception with a gap in between. As PPs said, hosting something small in between is nice if you'll have some guests who can't go home and aren't staying over. It looks like people here have a different opinion on the gap, but I've never personally heard anyone complain about it. The only thing I've noticed is that some people skip the ceremony and only go to the reception. The gap just seems normal to me when you have a Catholic wedding.

Don't blame religion for gaps.  I've been to many Catholic weddings and I can count on one hand the number that have had gaps.  The rest have hosted their guests properly by having the reception immediately following the ceremony.  

As a guest, why in the world would I want to hang around killing time while I'm all dressed up for hours before the reception?  That makes no sense.  It's just a waste of time.

ctr24

When there's a gap, unfortunately, I don't attend the ceremony. I would rather be at home than get dressed for noon and then sit around for 5 hours. 

Jenn7778

I agree that long gaps are avoidable.  If you have a noon wedding then you should have an earlier reception, but for those of us who are having a 3:00 ceremony (which is the latest allowed by the church on a Saturday), most places will not begin an evening reception until 6:00PM. 

My ceremony will be from 3:00 - 4:15 and then with the receiving line and our Ketubah Ceremony (We are having a joint Jewish/Catholic ceremony in my FI's Catholic church) it will be 5:00 by the time everyone leaves the church and my reception begins at 7:00.  With travel time back to the hotel to catch the shuttle that we are providing to the reception there will only be a 30 minute gap sinc the first shuttle leaves at 6:15.  I do not think that this is an inconvenience, even for people who are driving themselves. 

chraron

a 2 hour gap is still a gap.

Jenn7778

If you look at my post and actually red it, the gap with nothing to do is only 30-45 minutes.  There is 35 minutes travel time from the church to the hotel to pick up the shuttle which leaves at 6:15...try reading more carefully next time.

ctr24

so what do people do for 30-45 minutes then? hang out at the hotel bar?

JoanE2012

Jenn7778 said:

If you look at my post and actually red it, the gap with nothing to do is only 30-45 minutes.  There is 35 minutes travel time from the church to the hotel to pick up the shuttle which leaves at 6:15...try reading more carefully next time.

Unless I'm traveling quite some distance, I'm not staying at a hotel.  So a 5pm end ceremony would put me at the reception at 5:30?  Guessing it's a half hour away.  I wouldn't be terribly happy to have to sit in my car in the parking lot for 1.5 hours.  Any way you can host a happy hour?  Or an extended on if you already have one?

vvtadros41115

ARE OYU KIDDING ME PEOPLE. I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER BEEN TO A WEDDING WHERE THE CEREMONY IS HELD AT A CHURCH WHERE THERE WASNT A GAP!!!! HOW ARE YOU EVER SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A GAP!!! DONT LISTEN TO THESE FOOLS @pce515 YOUR GAP IS NORMAL SWEETIE

JoanE2012

vvtadros41115 said:

ARE OYU KIDDING ME PEOPLE. I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER BEEN TO A WEDDING WHERE THE CEREMONY IS HELD AT A CHURCH WHERE THERE WASNT A GAP!!!! HOW ARE YOU EVER SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A GAP!!! DONT LISTEN TO THESE FOOLS @pce515 YOUR GAP IS NORMAL SWEETIE

LOL!  It's really not that difficult to plan a wedding without a gap.  Most of the weddings I have been to have not had a gap, and most of them had the ceremony in a Catholic Church!  It's the bride and grooms who get caught up with a wedding vision of an evening reception that insist that it's impossible....but really, they just don't want to because it ruins their vision.

Jenn7778

We are hosting a happy hour at the hotel bar for for those that want to come...but most of our guests other then friends are out of town and will be staying at the hotel...and all my friends have decided that they are going to go to 1 of their houses that is 2 miles from the reception to check on their kids who are all going to be there for the night while they attend the wedding.

NowIAmSyp

vvtadros41115 said:

ARE OYU KIDDING ME PEOPLE. I HAVE NEVER EVER EVER BEEN TO A WEDDING WHERE THE CEREMONY IS HELD AT A CHURCH WHERE THERE WASNT A GAP!!!! HOW ARE YOU EVER SUPPOSED TO DO ANYTHING WITHOUT A GAP!!! DONT LISTEN TO THESE FOOLS @pce515 YOUR GAP IS NORMAL SWEETIE

WHY ARE WE YELLING?  

jerseykisses

JoanE2012 said:

vvtadros41115 said:

jerseykisses said:

JoanE2012 said:

Actually@JoanE2012, my sister had a morning/day wedding with a Catholic church ceremony with the reception immediately following and everyone actually complained that it was difficult for those who were out of town to make it to the ceremony so early! So it doesn't always work like that. I'm also assuming you are not familiar with the Catholic church and how it schedules wedding services, as I'm noticing is a common theme in this thread. With that said, there's no point in explaining why a gap is really unavoidable with a Catholic church on Saturdays and is not usually dictated by the bride - because obviously I wouldn't have a gap if it was an option! 

I'm not mentioning anything about the ceremony start time.....I'm talking about the reception start time.  She hosted her guests properly by having the reception immediately following the ceremony.   Imagine how much more grumbling there would have been if she waited 6 hours to have an evening reception!   

Gaps can be avoided by finding a venue that will accommodate an earlier reception.  It's not hard.  I've been to several Catholic weddings in NJ that had a reception that started earlier.  Unfortunately, couples are swayed into a "vision" and an attitude of "well, everyone else does so so can I" and that trumps the comfort and convenience for their guests. 

Actually, ALL of the 30 venues I looked at of which I could afford in NJ had strictly TWO reception "start" times which were around Noon OR 6p (or even later). There was no option to choose your own time (unless it was past 6p). Yes, it sucks. No, it is not our fault as brides. I have no reason to CHOOSE to have a gap since I would love to go from the church immediately to the reception just like the guests prefer. Like I have said and so many other Catholic brides here, it is beyond our control. People need to realize that it's not a bridezilla situation (most of the time).