Food and Cakes

Coffee Service Dilemma

124»

Re: Coffee Service Dilemma

  • edited February 2015

    I do find it funny that you all have been sitting here arguing with nobody for days. As to the food service it is all self serve and again they will only be there for 2 hours, so having them serve the coffee later on in the evening is not an option. The suggestion of having the bartender flip the switch and make the coffee was exactly what I needed as that thought had not occurred to me. I also don't know where everyone got the idea that I was not tipping the bartender. I am tipping him regardless of what he makes in his jar. The jar is there to save me $300 in hourly wages (will he make that, probably not and I don't expect him to, however if he offers a lower hourly wage for setting out a tip jar that may stay empty all night I will take that lower wage, as I said before I have been to weddings and have had no problem tipping the bartender in a jar on the bar, but I guess I'm not high strung like some people). As to the caterer they are only there for 2 hours so to the few who stated they could serve the coffee, that would not work but thank you for the suggestion.

    I was arguing with sarahufl. Just sayin.
    LOL, I just meant all the ones who were "talking" to me lol I had almost forgotten about this post entirely LOL...Oh and I totally agree with you...recommending Baileys for coffee made no sense

  • edited February 2015
    JoanE2012 said:

    I do find it funny that you all have been sitting here arguing with nobody for days. As to the food service it is all self serve and again they will only be there for 2 hours, so having them serve the coffee later on in the evening is not an option. The suggestion of having the bartender flip the switch and make the coffee was exactly what I needed as that thought had not occurred to me. I also don't know where everyone got the idea that I was not tipping the bartender. I am tipping him regardless of what he makes in his jar. The jar is there to save me $300 in hourly wages (will he make that, probably not and I don't expect him to, however if he offers a lower hourly wage for setting out a tip jar that may stay empty all night I will take that lower wage, as I said before I have been to weddings and have had no problem tipping the bartender in a jar on the bar, but I guess I'm not high strung like some people). As to the caterer they are only there for 2 hours so to the few who stated they could serve the coffee, that would not work but thank you for the suggestion.

    Again, it is YOUR job to pay your vendors, not your guests.  Letting your bartender put out a jar so your guests can subsidize your wedding costs so you don't have to pay makes you look cheap and rude.   If you can't afford the bartender, then you don't have alcoholic beverages.  Or you find other ways to come up with the money that does not include your guests' wallets.
    I can guarantee ALL of my guests will not take it as cheap or rude. I am not having strangers there or people I barely know, due to money restrictions it is small and intimate as it is. I really don't care what a stranger on some internet forum may think, you are not going to be there so what does it matter to YOU? This post had NOTHING to do with the etiquette of bar service. If that were my question I WOULD have posted it under ETIQUETTE. Thank you.

  • JoanE2012 said:

    I do find it funny that you all have been sitting here arguing with nobody for days. As to the food service it is all self serve and again they will only be there for 2 hours, so having them serve the coffee later on in the evening is not an option. The suggestion of having the bartender flip the switch and make the coffee was exactly what I needed as that thought had not occurred to me. I also don't know where everyone got the idea that I was not tipping the bartender. I am tipping him regardless of what he makes in his jar. The jar is there to save me $300 in hourly wages (will he make that, probably not and I don't expect him to, however if he offers a lower hourly wage for setting out a tip jar that may stay empty all night I will take that lower wage, as I said before I have been to weddings and have had no problem tipping the bartender in a jar on the bar, but I guess I'm not high strung like some people). As to the caterer they are only there for 2 hours so to the few who stated they could serve the coffee, that would not work but thank you for the suggestion.

    Again, it is YOUR job to pay your vendors, not your guests.  Letting your bartender put out a jar so your guests can subsidize your wedding costs so you don't have to pay makes you look cheap and rude.   If you can't afford the bartender, then you don't have alcoholic beverages.  Or you find other ways to come up with the money that does not include your guests' wallets.
    I can guarantee ALL of my guests will not take it as cheap or rude. I am not having strangers there or people I barely know, due to money restrictions it is small and intimate as it is. I really don't care what a stranger on some internet forum may think, you are not going to be there so what does it matter to YOU? This post had NOTHING to do with the etiquette of bar service. If that were my question I WOULD have posted it under ETIQUETTE. Thank you.



    My only thought is that if these people really are so close, I don't understand why you would treat them as strangers/ATMs to fund your own wedding.

    I don't really care, but I find it sad when people don't want to treat their nearest and dearest to a great party.

    I'm not asking them to supplement anything nor am I asking them to be atm's. If they do not want to put any money into the bartenders tip jar that is their choice, either way I am still tipping the bartender. I'm not charging admission, not having them pay for their food, drinks, etc...so I am not treating them as an atm or asking them to supplement, I am allowing a bartender a chance at making a little extra money. The last wedding I was at for my now bridesmaid they did the same thing, not one person gave it a second thought and I was more than willing to tip the bartender.

  • I'm not understanding this. The bartender is or isn't being paid by you and is or isn't being tipped??
    PrettyGirlLost
  • banana468 said:

    I'm not understanding this. The bartender is or isn't being paid by you and is or isn't being tipped??

    It sounds like the bartender offered the same sort of deal ours did. Ours offered to work for something like, 75 per hour plus added gratuity, or we had the option of paying a discounted rate of only 50 an hour and added gratuity, if he was also allowed to put a tip jar out. 

    So no discounted rate for us. 
    JoanE2012ashley8918MadHops21InLoveInQueens
  • sarahuflsarahufl New York
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    member

    I do find it funny that you all have been sitting here arguing with nobody for days. As to the food service it is all self serve and again they will only be there for 2 hours, so having them serve the coffee later on in the evening is not an option. The suggestion of having the bartender flip the switch and make the coffee was exactly what I needed as that thought had not occurred to me. I also don't know where everyone got the idea that I was not tipping the bartender. I am tipping him regardless of what he makes in his jar. The jar is there to save me $300 in hourly wages (will he make that, probably not and I don't expect him to, however if he offers a lower hourly wage for setting out a tip jar that may stay empty all night I will take that lower wage, as I said before I have been to weddings and have had no problem tipping the bartender in a jar on the bar, but I guess I'm not high strung like some people). As to the caterer they are only there for 2 hours so to the few who stated they could serve the coffee, that would not work but thank you for the suggestion.

    I was arguing with sarahufl. Just sayin.
    LOL, I just meant all the ones who were "talking" to me lol I had almost forgotten about this post entirely LOL...Oh and I totally agree with you...recommending Baileys for coffee made no sense'

    Out of curiosity, why didn't it make sense? This is a forum for people to get ideas. Just because YOU can't afford to properly host your guests doesn't mean everyone else is in the same boat. These threads spiral out of control with the same comments over and over and sometimes constructive ideas make them better. Sharing how I was able to (properly) host people isn't illogical. FWIW, the Baileys was a huge hit at our reception and there wasn't a tip jar in sight.

    image
  • banana468 said:

    I'm not understanding this. The bartender is or isn't being paid by you and is or isn't being tipped??

    It sounds like the bartender offered the same sort of deal ours did. Ours offered to work for something like, 75 per hour plus added gratuity, or we had the option of paying a discounted rate of only 50 an hour and added gratuity, if he was also allowed to put a tip jar out. 

    So no discounted rate for us. 
    Got it.   I've been working long hours and that little dumpling in my siggy pic has me up throughout the night but I swear I crossed my eyes trying to understand the concept.   
    rcher912ohannabelle
  • I do find it funny that you all have been sitting here arguing with nobody for days. As to the food service it is all self serve and again they will only be there for 2 hours, so having them serve the coffee later on in the evening is not an option. The suggestion of having the bartender flip the switch and make the coffee was exactly what I needed as that thought had not occurred to me. I also don't know where everyone got the idea that I was not tipping the bartender. I am tipping him regardless of what he makes in his jar. The jar is there to save me $300 in hourly wages (will he make that, probably not and I don't expect him to, however if he offers a lower hourly wage for setting out a tip jar that may stay empty all night I will take that lower wage, as I said before I have been to weddings and have had no problem tipping the bartender in a jar on the bar, but I guess I'm not high strung like some people). As to the caterer they are only there for 2 hours so to the few who stated they could serve the coffee, that would not work but thank you for the suggestion.
    Again, it is YOUR job to pay your vendors, not your guests.  Letting your bartender put out a jar so your guests can subsidize your wedding costs so you don't have to pay makes you look cheap and rude.   If you can't afford the bartender, then you don't have alcoholic beverages.  Or you find other ways to come up with the money that does not include your guests' wallets.
    I can guarantee ALL of my guests will not take it as cheap or rude. I am not having strangers there or people I barely know, due to money restrictions it is small and intimate as it is. I really don't care what a stranger on some internet forum may think, you are not going to be there so what does it matter to YOU? This post had NOTHING to do with the etiquette of bar service. If that were my question I WOULD have posted it under ETIQUETTE. Thank you.

    My only thought is that if these people really are so close, I don't understand why you would treat them as strangers/ATMs to fund your own wedding.

    I don't really care, but I find it sad when people don't want to treat their nearest and dearest to a great party.

    I'm not asking them to supplement anything nor am I asking them to be atm's. If they do not want to put any money into the bartenders tip jar that is their choice, either way I am still tipping the bartender. I'm not charging admission, not having them pay for their food, drinks, etc...so I am not treating them as an atm or asking them to supplement, I am allowing a bartender a chance at making a little extra money. The last wedding I was at for my now bridesmaid they did the same thing, not one person gave it a second thought and I was more than willing to tip the bartender.

    Except you are. By allowing the bartender to place a tip jar out you are setting te expectation that the bartender needs to be tipped.

    I never carry cash to weddings because I usually go to properly hosted ones that don't require me to open my wallet. That being said, the one time I went to a wedding where there was a tip jar at the bar I felt uncomfortable ordering any drinks. In fact, I stuck to water most of the night as a result. Why? Because I used to work in the service industry and take tipping seriously; so the thought of ordering a drink and then stiffing the bartender because I didn't have cash on me made me feel like a cheap asshole. Don't make your guests feel like cheap assholes whenever they order a drink at your wedding.   

    InLoveInQueens
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    member
    edited March 2015
    It's not your guests' job to pay for anything at your wedding, whether that's coffee or your bartender's gratuity. If you can't afford either one, then you should have neither one, regardless of what you think your guests want. What they do want is not to be expected to pay for things you, the host, should pay for.

    And it's not our job to "understand" why you can't or won't do that or refrain from passing negative judgment on you because you won't. You brought it up and we have every right to tell you whether it's etiquette-approved or not. Had you done some lurking, or more lurking, before you posted, you could have found this out even before asking us.
    InLoveInQueens
124»
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards