Pre-wedding Parties

Bachelorette Etiquette

I am planning my girlfriend's bachelorette party and I'm planning on getting a hotel room because

1. I have to, I don't live in the city we are holding the party.

2. It would be our meeting spot at the beginning of the night

 

The bride and I will be the only two people staying in the hotel room...is it bad etiquette to ask her to split it with me, or should I take care of the whole room myself? Also, how do you go about figuring out a budget for everyone? There's going to be about 9 girls coming plus the bride, whom I don't know-at all, and all come from different friend circles.

Re: Bachelorette Etiquette

  • mikenbergermikenberger In a f'n cornfield member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer

    I am planning my girlfriend's bachelorette party and I'm planning on getting a hotel room because

    1. I have to, I don't live in the city we are holding the party.

    2. It would be our meeting spot at the beginning of the night

     

    The bride and I will be the only two people staying in the hotel room...is it bad etiquette to ask her to split it with me, or should I take care of the whole room myself? Also, how do you go about figuring out a budget for everyone? There's going to be about 9 girls coming plus the bride, whom I don't know-at all, and all come from different friend circles.

    Typically, it's commonly known that you pay your own way for a bachelorette. I would just keep in mind what these ladies like to do on the regular. Do they like to go to spas and stuff or are they more of a dive bar and snacks kind of girls? I'd gauge the cost by that. If you don't know, reach out to the bride and ask what the other girls are like (not what she wants to do for her bachelorette) or reach out to the girls? Are you the only one planning it? 

    And with the hotel room, if I had to get a hotel room regardless of whether or not she was staying with me, I wouldn't ask her to cover it. I'd ask for help only if I had to get a bigger hotel room or she requested a different hotel.

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  • I don't think it's appropriate to ask the bride to pay a portion of the hotel.

    Given that you don't know the girls, you could ask one or two that you know are particularly close to the bride (and from different circles) what type of activity they would like to do. From there, in terms of budget, you could ask each of them privately and individually what their budget is for the bachelorette party (and don't go over that!).
  • I wouldn't ask the bride to split the cost with you. I assume you're offering to throw this bachelorette for her, no?

    As far as funding the party, there are a few things to keep in mind. 

    - If you want a limo/VIP table/other group thing, but you don't want to pay for the whole thing yourself, you need to get everyone's buy in BEFORE you book it. It's not ok to be like "Hi everyone, I booked a $800 limo. That'll be $60 from each of you."
    - If you want everyone to be able to attend, make sure you clear things with them ahead of time. For example, "The bride has expressed interest in a painting class. It'd be $35/person. Is everyone ok with that?" 

    Honestly, the most fun/easy bach parties I've been to are where the planner is like "Hi All - we're planning to go to dinner at XYZ restaurant at 7pm on Saturday, XX date. After dinner, we'll be going bar hopping. Let me know if you're in for dinner so I can get the right number on our reservation." Then everyone pays their own way and there's no drama.

    The WORST parties are where the planner is goes all willy nilly with planning and then basically hands guests an invoice "I need $60 for the limo, $100 for the VIP table, $120 for the hotel and $30 for the pole dancing class. I also picked out XYZ as a big group gift, so I need $30/ea for that. And I ordered tank tops for everyone, so I need $10 for that." Yea, absolutely not. Those are the worst. 
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    plainjane0415levioosabananasplit472001[Deleted User]
  • This.  and the fact that if you are hosting the bachelorette party you should be paying for the things you want
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I am planning my girlfriend's bachelorette party and I'm planning on getting a hotel room because

    1. I have to, I don't live in the city we are holding the party.

    2. It would be our meeting spot at the beginning of the night

     

    The bride and I will be the only two people staying in the hotel room...is it bad etiquette to ask her to split it with me, or should I take care of the whole room myself? Also, how do you go about figuring out a budget for everyone? There's going to be about 9 girls coming plus the bride, whom I don't know-at all, and all come from different friend circles.

    You don't figure out a budget for anyone: you ask them what their budget is and then plan around that.
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    southernbelle0915
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