Hotel guests can be quite obnoxious/hilarious/confusing/induce alcoholism

dolewhipper

I don't know if I ever saw someone post this before, but it definitely is a fun read for anyone who works/has worked in the service industry/tourism:

howmaywehateyou.com/

I started reading it again today after a group of golfers got angry I couldn't assist them with getting their golf bags (the bellmen store them on a high shelf; too much of a liability for me to try and get them down by myself with my horrible upper body strength). Sorrynotsorry wait your turns m-fers.

My personal favorite:

GUEST: This line for checkout is ridiculous. How long is it going to take?

CONCIERGE: I apologize, sir. It’s hard to say, but I don’t think it should take much more than 10-15 minutes.

GUEST: You think or you know?

CONCIERGE: It’s hard to say for sure, it all depends on the individual checkouts.

GUEST: So you have no idea.

CONCIERGE: Again, maybe 10-15 minutes.

GUEST: “Maybe?”

CONCIERGE: Yes.

GUEST: (shakes head) I guess a little information is a dangerous thing, huh? I guess that’s just a little too much for you to handle, huh?

CONCIERGE: I guess your whole family is waiting for you to croak.

CONCIERGE: (actually said) You’re right, sir, I am pretty stupid.

CONCIERGE: (no, but like actually said) I apologize, sir.

GUEST: Not good enough. (walks away)

Inkdancer

And this is why I avoid leaving my house. /turtles further into blanket fort

teddygirl9

I used to work for a nice hotel and while I wasn't a front office employee, I sometimes had to cover - it was terrible.

 

I worked in the Spa area, and we had a small fridge at the front desk for smoothies and the like. We had this one guest who was the biggest pain, and would complain about the smallest things to try and get her services comped. Anyways, one day she checked in after lunch, and asked us to put her leftovers in the fridge (it was a half eaten slice of pizza in a brown paper bag). So someone did. She was her usual pain in the ass self, left and whatever. End of the night, someone else is cleaning out the fridge and notices some leftovers, asks around, and since no one claimed it tossed it.

 

I was covering the next morning because someone had called in sick or something. So i'm checking people in, and there was a small line, maybe 3 people. This woman's husband comes barreling in, pushes to the front of the line, and asks for the leftover pizza. I had no idea what he was talking about, but took a look and told him that I don't see any pizza. He told me the situation from yesterday, and I explained that if she didn't take it when she checked out, it was probably thrown away at the end of the night. He got SO angry! He was literally yelling at me 'how could you do this? why would you throw that away! Its not yours! My wife is going to be so furious!' and I just kept apologizing, and asked what I could do, and he just kept yelling the same thing over and over, and eventually stormed off. So, whatever, I went back to checking in the other people (who looked totally mortified). Like 2 minutes later, i get a call from the front desk saying that he had gone over to them and started yelling that we threw away this lunch, and theyre like 'what did he have, just tell us and we will comp it' and I told them. Anyways, he probably ended up getting like $20 cash from them just to shut him the fuck up and get him out.

 

I was so humiliated and disgusted by his behaviour. I told my boss, and she called them. TO APOLOGIZE and invite her back for free lunch. I was livid after that.

lyndausvi

Hotel guests are horrible.  I've worked in the industry for a long time.    

Guest - I demand a refund or discount

Me - I'm sorry you had a bad experience.  Can you please tell me more about your experience.

Guest - 1st.  I left me purse on a taxi on ST Thomas and it took 3 hours for it to be delivered to me.

NOTE - we are in ST John.  An entirely different island.  The ferry from STT to STJ is 45 minutes one way.  She figured it out AFTER she got to STJ that she left her purse in the taxi from the airport to the ferry.  Her purse had her maiden name and the reservation was in her husband's name.  I think 3 hours isn't to bad to be reunited with your purse.

Me - I'm sorry for the inconvenience, but I'm unable to give a refund for something that wasn't our fault.  I think we reunited you with your purse fairly quick considering the circumstances.

Guest - 2nd thing.  We sat down for dinner 3 days ago and the people next to us got their food first.

Me -  I'm sorry about that.  Food does come out a different times based on what you ordered. It's possible they happened to order food that comes out faster

NOTE - no discount.  IF you brought it up at the time maybe, but not 3 days later when I can't even verify the "problem"

Guest - 3rd thing.    We are on our HM and my husband.  Well, my husband (as the husband starts to blush) , he, well, he got a mosquito bite on his penis and couldn't preform his husband-ly duties.

ME -    (I'm in shock, trying not to bust out laughing).     I'm sorry for bite.  We are a tropical destination and mosquitoes live here.  We do not give discounts due to insect bites.

This woman wanted a 50% discount because off all her issues.

novella1186

I worked at a front desk and did customer service (answering the phone when guests called down from their rooms) at a luxury hotel in a resort. Talk about entitled, rude, spoiled brats. That job was a fucking nightmare. 

There was one day that a tornado knocked out power to the city. Our generators all kicked on at once, which caused a power surge and knocked them all back out. So we had no power. No elevators, no nothing. I can't even tell you what a mess everything was -- including the reservation system, housekeeping schedule, EVERYTHING, and we were all working our asses off to get it all taken care of. Just doing the best we could. 

As soon as the power kicks back on, and elderly woman from the 17th floor calls me, screaming. "NO ONE EVER CAME TO OUR ROOM TO CHECK ON US! MY HUSBAND IS IN A WHEELCHAIR! WHAT IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO HIM!"

Me: "I'm so sorry, power is out all over the city, we're doing everything we can. Security is going floor-by-floor checking on everyone, and they must not have gotten up to your floor yet." (Power was out for about 40 minutes) 

Lady: "HOW DARE YOU TRY TO BLAME THIS ON YOUR SECURITY PEOPLE! HOW DARE YOU!"

This went on for 47 minutes. 47 fucking minutes I had this woman screaming in my ear and no matter what I said, she turned it around into some kind of insult. She didn't want me to send up security people to check on them but she kept ranting about her disabled husband but she didn't need me to send a paramedic but she was so pissed that the power went out but how dare I blame the power company but how dare I blame the tornado oh my fucking god it was the nightmare of all nightmares. 

I kept telling her I needed to free up the line in case other guests had an emergency and she took it as a HUGE insult that I would imply that other guests are more important than her. I finally hung up on her and she immediately called back (someone else in the office picked up the phone) and I could literally hear her screaming through the phone. This was at around 4pm after I had come into work at 5am and stayed late because of the outage, so this was how my 11-hour day ended. And shortly after this, I quit my job. 

theartistformerlyknownas

lyndausvi said:

Hotel guests are horrible.  I've worked in the industry for a long time.    

Guest - 2nd thing.  We sat down for dinner 3 days ago and the people next to us got their food first.

Me -  I'm sorry about that.  Food does come out a different times based on what you ordered. It's possible they happened to order food that comes out faster

NOTE - no discount.  IF you brought it up at the time maybe, but not 3 days later when I can't even verify the "problem"

Now if she STILL hadn't gotten her food 3 days later, she might have something.

NowIAmSyp

I spent much of my early 20's in hotels...  don't miss it.  At all.  Not one bit.  Nope.

lyndausvi

The day after a hurricane the GM had a meeting in one of the rooms for all the guests.  He explained how the island was still under a curfew.   How there was only 20 of us who stayed over and we are doing the best we can to get the property back together with the limited staff.   Stuff like that.  Most people are awesome.

Then this one woman asked if  Louis Vuitton was opened.    GM explained that the island is not only still under a curfew, that side of the island still didn't have power, trees are down so you can't even get to that side if you wanted.  Basically they legally can't be open. 

She started YELLING at the GM.  Going on and on  how dare a random store we are not affiliated with is closed. How it ruined her vacation.   Everyone at the meeting was all like WTF lady, 12 hours ago we were in a hurricane.   

For the record DH and I had to stay at the hotel for entire week because he had no power and trees blocking our entrance.   (the resort had generators)

Priorities people. Priorities. 

jenna8984

@lyndausvi And the worst part is that those are the exact fucking people who will go on your Trip Advisor and write a bad review about the hotel because of things that had nothing to do with the hotel.

Only time I have ever complained at a hotel is when they put me in a room 10 feet from the mariachi band playing until 1am (we are 9pm bedtime people). I didn't ask for a refund, I just asked for a new room.

lyndausvi

People want refunds because it rained.

They yell that DH for not having LOCAL ORGANIC STRAWBERRIES.  We lived in St Thomas.  Not really known for the best place to grow strawberries.

Getting mad the salmon wasn't locally caught.    Again, the waters of STT do not have salmon.

Sand is too sandy.

I could go on and on about the stupidity  of a tourist.  It's actually scary how they go through life.

We actually say they must check their brain at the airline ticket counter and pick it back up when then return home.

teddygirl9

@novella1186 Ugh I've had those same people. We had a major flood that knocked out power, and we had elderly people complaining that they had to wait a while while the hotel was being evacuated. Our security team CARRIED them down 15+ flights of stairs because they couldn't go themselves, and obviously that would block the stairs so the rest of the floors were evacuated first. I felt so terrible for the people who were breaking their backs carrying them with no thanks, only complaints.

novella1186

teddygirl9 said:

@novella1186 Ugh I've had those same people. We had a major flood that knocked out power, and we had elderly people complaining that they had to wait a while while the hotel was being evacuated. Our security team CARRIED them down 15+ flights of stairs because they couldn't go themselves, and obviously that would block the stairs so the rest of the floors were evacuated first. I felt so terrible for the people who were breaking their backs carrying them with no thanks, only complaints.

You could give people like that a million dollars and they would complain that it's the wrong shade of green. 

jenna8984

lyndausvi said:

 

They yell that DH for not having LOCAL ORGANIC STRAWBERRIES.  We lived in St Thomas.  Not really known for the best place to grow strawberries.

 

I basically ended a friendship over fresh blueberries. When I lived in AZ after college, a high school friend flew out to visit. For four days, this girl was like the guests listed in this thread. She bitched about every single thing from my sheets not being soft enough to the restaurant not having ginger ale on tap, to my male friends not buying her drinks at the bar. Finally the last day we grabbed breakfast at a cafe and she refused to eat her muffin because she said it was made with frozen blueberries. At that moment, I lost my shit and told she wouldn't have to face the blueberry travesty again because she was never welcome to come visit me ever again. I called her out on all the complaining, she flew home, and we never really talked again.

wrigleyville

I absolutely love TripAdvisor. The reviews have turned me onto some amazing hotels that I never would have considered and/or known about. At the same time, I get such a laugh out of the one-star reviews. Some of them are just unreal.

My favorites are from the people who travel to Chicago and give the hotel a bad review because of the street noise.

You picked a hotel, in downtown Chicago, and didn't expect to hear sirens and traffic? Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how many people live in this city? Did you check to see where your hotel was? Are you that fucking stupid? If you can't stand to hear the occasional traffic and/or siren, get a hotel in the 'burbs.

(Of course, if they did that, they'd bitch about the noise from O'Hare.)

WinstonsGirl

lyndausvi said:

Sand is too sandy.

I'm sure the next guy complained that the sand wasn't sandy enough

lovesclimbing

I worked in a hotel for a summer here in Alaska.  People always wanted to be put on the list to get notified if the northern lights were out.  In the middle of summer when there are none!  And if they happened to come in the fall when there were northern lights, they would get super mad if they missed them.  Like we have control over when the northern lights are out or how long they stay out! Sure we'll just flip the switch on our fancy electromagnetic impulse ray gun and make all the particles stay in the right spot in the atmosphere for long enough! Or they'd get all upset because they wanted to get called first because there were too many people already outside looking at them when they got outside.  I purposefully did NOT put that lady at the top of the list. I think I put her about 10 rooms down the list.

dolewhipper

lyndausvi I'm not fit for the restaurant world. I was a "barista" at the Cheesecake Factory (more like the chick who cut and plated cheesecake and when the occasional coffee order came in, I did it) and that's where I figured it out after the yelling, and overall craziness of working in somewhat "kitchen" atmosphere. Stick me at the Guest Services of a resort and I have no problem. Restaurants? You guys deserve a shit ton more credit than you deserve. 

novella1186 said:

You could give people like that a million dollars and they would complain that it's the wrong shade of green. 

Sounds about right.

My guests get mad when it rains in the summer. I don't usually apologize; I empathize. "I understand when you go on vacation you want the best weather!" And then I follow it up with the facts, "Unfortunately, you didn't call us beforehand to check, or checked weather.com to realize it rains EVERY DAY in the summer." Right now they're mad it's "cold" (to me it's freezing, its in the low 30's). I ask them how cold it is at home, and remind them it's still warmer here and they should have checked weather.com prior to coming down if all they cared about was the temperature.

My favorite was when I had to get my manager on duty (the guy that stands in as the GM when guests demand to speak with the GM) during the summer at a resort I used to work at with an awesome pool. We had a tropical storm warning going on.

Guest: HOW DARE YOU CLOSE THE POOL! WE CAME ALL THIS WAY FROM _____ TO STAY HERE AND ENJOY YOUR POOL AND YOU CLOSE IT FOR A LITTLE RAIN?!?! MY KIDS ARE CRYING FROM THE GIRL WHO KICKED US OUT OF THE POOL!

Manager: I understand we do have an amazing pool. Unfortunately, the weather, especially the lightning and chance of tables and chairs moving around from wind gusts does not make it conducive to enjoy our facilities outside at this time.

Guest: IT JUST A LITTLE WIND AND RAIN! WE'RE IN THE POOL AND WE'RE WET ALREADY! JUST LET US BACK IN I DON'T CARE!

Manager: I completely understand then, sir. Hold on one minute *types on keyboard* If you do't mind signing this, and I will have my agent, dolewhipper, witness , it just states that you understand that if and when lightning, objects on the pool deck, or other act of God creates a situation where you or anyone you are signing on behalf of gets injured, it is not at the fault of the hotel, their employees, or anyone else but yourself. You are signing that you understand the situation of going outside under these conditions, and the effects it can have on yourself, your children, and anyone else you are singing on behalf of. You can sign right there.

Guest: WHAT THE HELL! IM NOT SIGNING THIS!!!

Manager: Then I guess you're not going in the pool, sir. 

Guest: *Storms off*