I'm sure I'm not the only one in this boat. I recently saw a very humorous College Humor video where the couple laments that after one's parent invited all their friends from a cruise, they had room for exactly 6 friends or something to that extent but here's my situation.
The FI and I went looking for reception venues. I didn't want a hall that reminded me of a graduation party (ha...too much My Fair Wedding, I guess) so the local community center and my church, large and inexpensive venues, I immediately said no to. Then I found this winery out in the country after my mom mentioned our church friends owned it. I immediately fell in love with the place. Here are my problems:
1. It only holds 150 people.
I have a mom/stepdad and dad/stepmom.
The FI has a mom and dad/stepmom.
The FI's dad's side alone we calculated to be 52 (his dad has 8 brothers and sisters). After everything was said and done we had 172 people on the guest list. It was 158 until the FMIL mom threw a fit about inviting work people and family friends who have known the FI since birth. That dwindled my parents' side down dramatically. Since my folks are paying for most of the wedding, they're kind of irked. I don't know what to do about his dad's side (there is nothing we can really do) but my mom seems to think that if we invite 172 people the sky will fall and they will all show up. She wants it more around the 130 mark. She would rather we only invite 130, actually. That's not gonna happen. And you can bet that the FI and I's extent of inviting friends is our wedding party. Advice? It literally has been the cry-worthy part of my planning apart from when I apparently lost my mind for a day and thought I HAD to have chair covers.
2. It's out in the country about 10-15 miles away from the ceremony. We're going to have beer and wine (no hard liquor per winery rule) available until the quantity we buy runs out, but I'm concerned about transportation. Is it my responsibility to find and provide people with transportation back home/to hotel if they drink too much? The FMIL seems to think it is. My parents, trying to stay on budget, do not. Where do I stand etiquette wise here?
And now I'm gonna have a drink.
PS- The FMIL thinks that the work people won't come but will send money and so we should send a courtesy invite. That just sounds rude.
PSS - I actually really really like my FMIL. She's not a monster in law. She can just be...super dramatic.