Always interested in reading this board, and would appreciate your opinions on the following.
I have 5 bridesmaids (2 BFFs, my cousin and my two FSILs both of whom I am very close with). I have another very dear friend, who is also my mentor at work, so our relationship has started out on a professional level, but over the six years I have known her we have become very close, and have been there for each other through a lot of both good and bad times. The reason I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid was primarily because I felt it would be weird since she is older than me (not sure if that makes sense, but to me BM is someone my age or younger - she is in her mid 40s (I'm 30), has 3 kids, and then her position vs mine at work, I somehow thought she would feel odd being put in the same "category" as the BMs... maybe I am wrong about it, idk. The other reason was that as I got engaged she was going through a very difficult time in her personal life (separation and ultimately divorce) and it just did not feel right to bring up wedding planning stuff at the time...don't get me wrong, she was very excited for our engagement and all, but I just didn't want to rub idle wedding planning stuff in her face during that difficult time for her. But anyways, I know it would be rude to ask her to be a BM now that I have asked the others, so that ship has sailed.
I have been thinking about how to honor her and our close relationship without being tacky/ offensive/ etc... I have lurked quite a bit on these boards so I realize that "guest is also an honor"... I just feel like I would like to do something special without making her uncomfortable for the above reasons. Ugh, now that I am writing this out it sounds sort of like a stupid reason. Sorry!
So what I have come up with is asking her daughter (10) to be a flower girl. My understanding is that this way she would also be part of the wedding party, get a corsage, etc...right? I am trying to understand the role of FG better since its not common to have one in my circle. I love her daughter, and my fiancé and I have both met her on many occasions (and I have run the FG idea by him and he is on board). My main hesitation is whether this is even an honor for my friend or whether it would just be an unnecessary burden on her. I should mention that our wedding is a DW (August 2015) and my friend is invited to come by herself or bring any of her 3 kids and / or also an adult guest (date or friend) if she wants to (I basically told her that her presence is so important to us that whatever is easiest for her is what we are happy to accommodate. Generally kids are very welcome at our wedding, in fact I expect that there will be a dozen or so kids ages 0-15). She said she would most likely bring her daughter (the one I am thinking of asking to be FG) but not the other two kids, for logistics reasons...and she wasn't sure about the adult guest but appreciated the option.
Sorry if I am wording things in weird ways, I guess the bottom line is: is me asking her daughter to be a FG a good way of honoring / including my friend?
- The stars, like dust, encircle me in living mists of light. And all of space I seem to see in one vast burst of sight.