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September 2015 Weddings

RD and dealing w "hands off" FIL's

FI's parents will be paying for our RD, but they are being very hands off w all of the planning.  His brother was married last yr and his Mom complained that she was not included in any decisions (to my knowledge, they did not contribute financially, except for the RD).  Because of this, I'm conscious to include FMIL in our plans (even though my parents are paying for the entire thing).  I face timed w her when I went dress shopping and invited them to be a part of our food tasting in April.  She lives 4 hours away, so FI and I put a list of restaurants together for her to choose one and strongly recommended one to her.  I'm a little annoyed that she has taken no initiative to book the RD and almost want to book and pay for it myself (this would prob be a bad move, though?)

I don't want us to be pushy and bug them about booking, but how long should I wait? I don't want to be stuck a month before the wedding w/o a place booked.  Am I being ridiculous? Overly anxious? Thoughts/suggestions are welcome.  Thank you!

Re: RD and dealing w "hands off" FIL's

  • I would say it depends on where the rehearsal dinner is going to be taking place and whether restaurants in that area book up quickly. If I remember correctly, your wedding is in Rhode Island? If you are looking in Providence or other popular areas such as Newport then I would probably book sooner rather than later but I think you still have some time. You could call the restaurants your interested in and see the timeframe they recommend to book by and then talk to your MIL from there. If she continues to take no initiative then I would probably see if you could at least get her to agree on a restaurant and offer to book it for her if she'd like (maybe she would like one less thing to do and then it would give you peace of mind of at least having it booked).


  • Good memory, @CourtC77! The RD will be in Providence.  The event coordinator I've been in touch w at the place we would like it at, has not been the most responsive, but good idea to try to get in touch w her to gage a timeframe. 

    Also, I def will not be having the convo w FMIL, that is all FI, I just don't want to unneccessarily nag him about it :)

  • CourtC77CourtC77 member
    10 Comments First Answer Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    edited February 2015

    Good place for a RD - Providence has alot of great restaurants to choose from for such a small city. We dine there often as we are just over the border of MA and its an easier drive for us then into Boston. Definately check with the coordinator on a time frame that may help you decide how much you need to nag your FI. ;)

  • I totally agree with @CourtC77.  However, whatever time frame the restaurant gives you, I would probably tell her it is a little sooner.  Just in case!
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