Invite wording

agenevieve22016

My fiancé and I are paying for 85% of the wedding. My mom is helping a little and my father probably not much at all. How would I word it so it looks like we are hosting but still include them on the invite? My parents are divorced do I even need to put my dad if he's not helping at all? I guess I thought it was kind of traditional to have the brides dad on it but not really sure

southernbelle0915

The host line is for whoever is HOSTING. Not necessarily to designate who is PAYING. Is your mom going to be greeting guests, thanking them for coming, available to answer questions, etc.? Or is she just footing some of the bill? If she's not really hosting, then you and your FH are the official hosts. 

"The honour of your presence/The pleasure of your company

is requested at the marriage of

Bride's Name

and

Groom's Name

Saturday, the thirteenth of June

two thousand fifteen

at half after four o'clock

Location

City, State

Reception to follow"

If the reception is in a different location than the ceremony, ditch that last line and provide an info insert.

agenevieve22016

southernbelle0915 said:

The host line is for whoever is HOSTING. Not necessarily to designate who is PAYING. Is your mom going to be greeting guests, thanking them for coming, available to answer questions, etc.? Or is she just footing some of the bill? If she's not really hosting, then you and your FH are the official hosts. 

"The honour of your presence/The pleasure of your company

is requested at the marriage of

Bride's Name

and

Groom's Name

Saturday, the thirteenth of June

two thousand fifteen

at half after four o'clock

Location

City, State

Reception to follow"

If the reception is in a different location than the ceremony, ditch that last line and provide an info insert.

Ok thank you I thought hosting meant who is paying so it just means who is really helping out I guess? So if my mom is helping host I could just put all of our names?

CMGragain

agenevieve22016 said:

My fiancé and I are paying for 85% of the wedding. My mom is helping a little and my father probably not much at all. How would I word it so it looks like we are hosting but still include them on the invite? My parents are divorced do I even need to put my dad if he's not helping at all? I guess I thought it was kind of traditional to have the brides dad on it but not really sure

You don't.  The invitation is not a family tree.  Your parents should only be on your invitation if they are hosting your wedding.  When the bridal couple is hosting their own wedding, they never directly invite guests.  It is worded like this:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Venue
Address
City, State

This format does not specify who is hosting.  On the other hand, if you decide that your mother is hosting:

Ms. Mary Smith
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Bride's first middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

[Deleted User]

You don't.  The invitation is not a family tree.  Your parents should only be on your invitation if they are hosting your wedding.  When the bridal couple is hosting their own wedding, they never directly invite guests.  It is worded like this:

The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Venue
Address
City, State

This format does not specify who is hosting.  On the other hand, if you decide that your mother is hosting:

Ms. Mary Smith
requests the pleasure of your company
at the marriage of her daughter
Bride's first middle
to
Mr. Groom's Full Name
(etc.)

CMGragain to the bolded, what is the reason behind this? Genuine curiosity! That's a piece of etiquette I don't think I've ever seen mentioned and I am always interested in the "why" behind everything. . 

Jen4948

The rule is that one never officially hosts a party in one's own honor. It applies not just to weddings but to birthdays, showers, and other kinds of celebrations as well.

It is partly due to the gift-giving element: one does not politely solicit gifts for oneself. It is also considered egotistical.

So when one in fact is both host and honoree, the host is for invitational purposes invisible.

[Deleted User]

Ahh I gotcha. I knew that rule of thumb applied to showers, bachelorettes, and birthdays, didn't realize it included weddings too. 

So is it inappropriate then to have an invitation worded:

Together with their families Bride and Groom request the pleasure of your company as they unite in marriage

? 

This was the wording we were considering...but we may need to rethink that now! 

CMGragain

jenandtonic81515 said:

Ahh I gotcha. I knew that rule of thumb applied to showers, bachelorettes, and birthdays, didn't realize it included weddings too. 

So is it inappropriate then to have an invitation worded:

Together with their families Bride and Groom request the pleasure of your company as they unite in marriage

? 

This was the wording we were considering...but we may need to rethink that now! 

No, since the parents are also listed as hosts, this is acceptable, however, it is NOT traditional.  It is usually used for complicated families with multiple divorces and remarriages.

Together with their parents (or families)
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
request the pleasure of your company
as they are united in marriage
(etc.)

[Deleted User]

Thanks!