Debunking Wedding Cost Myths

hellohkb

Tonight I set aside some time to read through wedding planning articles when I stumbled upon this particular article. Personally, I thought it was super helpful and so true. Perhaps some of the lurkers and even some regs would enjoy looking at this. I thought of @Jells2dot0 when I read read the last one! The buffet myth being debunked was good for me to read. Everyone seems to say a buffet meal is cheaper than plated, but at my venue it's the total opposite- A stationed buffet can be about $30 more expensive per person. NOT cheaper by any means. 

 http://theeverylastdetail.com/thursday-tips-debunking-the-cost-saving-myths/

ETA- I wish they mentioned off season discounts. My photographer and a possible DJ vendor were the only ones to offer any kind of discount during my off-season winter wedding. Every wedding publication make it seem as though you'll get all these discounts thrown at you- Again, totally not true (not that I really cared, I very much wanted a January wedding regardless of the possibility of getting a discount).

sophhabobopha

Thanks for posting this! I'm pretty surprised by a few of these. Deffinatly thought non Saturday was the cheap route.

hellohkb

sophhabobopha said:

Thanks for posting this! I'm pretty surprised by a few of these. Deffinatly thought non Saturday was the cheap route.

No problem! When one of my BMs got married, she said she looked into a Sunday wedding and they actually told her it would be MORE expensive. I guess maybe they didn't normally do weddings on that day?

hteverywhere15

Some of these rang true for me, others not so much. Our venue, which is all-inclusive with food/bar/cake, was cheaper on Friday and Sunday, and I think all the other places we looked were the same way. 

Also, the off season discount is definitely real where I live, but it could be regional. We picked our date because it was the beginning of the off season and we saved around $30 per person for booking in November rather than October. Most venues we looked at were the same there too. We also saved 20% with our photographer for being in the off season, and got someone we would not have been able to afford otherwise. 

We found the buffet thing to be true at some places we looked. At our venue the stations buffet is more expensive than plated, but in the off season they charge the same price for both. 

kvruns

our venue was cheaper on a Friday and Sunday vs Saturday.  I also found that pricing at both this venue and many others I looked at had some sort of minimum headcount for Saturdays, usually around $150.  For our venue it is just seating etc but at others that minimum carried over to food and beverage packages.  We are having 75 or fewer people so paying for 150 minimum was out of the question

melbenso

Plated meal was less expensive at my venue too, by about $5 per person.  We preferred a plated meal, and the meal cost was one of the reasons we chose the venue we did.  Actually, in general the cost of the venue were one of the main reasons we chose it. All rentals, food, slightly limited open bar all night (beer, wine, champagne, well and call liquor - no premium liquor) for 110 people, and an amazing DOC ended up costing us jut under 10K, which was our budget for those things.  The location was beautiful and the food was wonderful.  You can have the wedding you want on a budget, you just have to shop around for the right place.

climbingsingle

Our venue was all inclusive, but they didn't offer any kind of discounts for for Friday or Sunday, or off-season. And the buffet was much more expensive. 

AprilH81

The "perk" to off-season weddings in my experience is that the top vendors have more availability and SOME will offer discounts and/or be willing to customize packages for you.

We got married in January (in Ohio) and we were able to get discounts on our venue and video, our photographer did a custom package for us, and we had our choice of vendors for everyone else because they weren't booked wall to wall with other weddings.

southernbelle0915

Friday and Saturday were the same price at our venue.

Also, we did stations and it was WAY more expensive than doing plated. We crunched the numbers initially and the price of plated was really tempting. But we wanted people to eat as much as they wanted of whatever they wanted. "Food, Music, Bar" was our mantra, so we prioritized there. I don't know the exact numbers, but it was probably close to $30/pp more than plated. Worth every penny.

Also, DIYing was more expensive for some things - like our card box, our guest book and our signage...just to name a few. We wanted things to look a certain way though, so it was worth it.

cakemurderer

The venue I'm eyeing does offer discounts on Fridays and Sundays, discounts in the off season (Jan.-March, July, and August), and the sit down dinner is cheaper than the more expensive buffet option. They offer a cheaper buffet but the offerings are lame and sad looking compared to what you get with the slightly more expensive sit down meal. Some places I looked at didn't necessarily offer a discount in the off season, but their person minimum or dollar amount minimum was lower in the off season. I had to rule out most places on my list because we're not hosing 125+ guests nor are we able to spend $10k before tax and tip on food and drinks.

climbingsingle

Also, we did a consumption bar and it ended up being much cheaper. I was surprised, because we had a lot of drinkers. But it saved us money in the end. 

Jells2dot0

For some reason, I can only type when using the HTML function. I hope this isn't a mess... DWs can certainly add up quickly and for us, it certainly was not exactly cheap to run off and get married. However, I guess at the end of the day it was cheaper than having a traditional wedding because we would have still taken that trip as our honeymoon.

blabla89

This is good information! We are actually saving money by doing a cocktail reception, but not on the food itself. Not serving a full dinner meant we could have a shorter reception, which we wanted (and we moved it up to afternoon, so it's not like we're leaving guests hungry at meal time). We're paying for 1-2 less hours of venue, DJ, and photographer's time, so it's definitely saving us money.

falsara

I didn't know that about the buffet prices. The few caterers I've looked at rarely have any plated dinner information on their sites, just the buffet stuff. I wonder if it would be cheaper, I'll have to ask.

badbnagdway

I agree with this piece, I think a lot of touted discounts are not universally available. I do think most can be available depending on the situation. For example, I had a photog I really liked. I told her our budget and what we wanted for it. She basically threw in a second shooter for four hours for free, which was really cool.  

I do especially agree the writer's opinion on non-Saturday weddings. They do not always save you money. I have a friend who is getting married the Sunday of a holiday weekend. The sole purpose of that decision was to save money. She is saving about $400 on her venue because they generally cannot get a wedding booked that date (because it is inconvenient for guests, frankly). $400 is a good chunk of cash, but there is not a single other vendor who she has gotten a discount from. Vendors are more available, but they don't want to work for less just because it's a Sunday. Having a Sunday wedding for $400 of savings on the venue on a $20,000 wedding doesn't make any sense to me. She wants a rockin' evening party and has certain bars she wants to visit after. I haven't had the heart to tell her all the bars she has in mind are closed on Sundays...

I'm not trying to be anti-Sunday wedding, I just agree that the cost savings aspects are overrated. Unless you are having a Sunday brunch wedding... in which case pass me a mimosa. 

chloe97

I understand what she is saying about bartering, but I still think that it's worth it to tell your vendors when the price that they quote you is out of your budget. For example, after seeing 2 venues that we liked, we tried to cancel our appointment with the 3rd because we knew that they cost more and we would fall in love with it. I emailed the sales coordinator to tell her that we wanted to cancel because we just couldn't make their prices work in our budget. She emailed back and asked for our budget and figured out how to manipulate the menu and threw in a discount to make it work within our budget. We ended up going with that venue. 

Also, after cutting a lot back from our original floral proposal, we were still about $900 over our budget numbers. I emailed the account manager and let her know that I needed $900 off our proposal to make it work in our budget and she cut down the bouquets a bit, offered different flower alternatives, etc to get us to where we needed to be. 

lyndausvi

badbnagdway said:

I agree with this piece, I think a lot of touted discounts are not universally available. I do think most can be available depending on the situation. For example, I had a photog I really liked. I told her our budget and what we wanted for it. She basically threw in a second shooter for four hours for free, which was really cool.  

I do especially agree the writer's opinion on non-Saturday weddings. They do not always save you money. I have a friend who is getting married the Sunday of a holiday weekend. The sole purpose of that decision was to save money. She is saving about $400 on her venue because they generally cannot get a wedding booked that date (because it is inconvenient for guests, frankly). $400 is a good chunk of cash, but there is not a single other vendor who she has gotten a discount from. Vendors are more available, but they don't want to work for less just because it's a Sunday. Having a Sunday wedding for $400 of savings on the venue on a $20,000 wedding doesn't make any sense to me. She wants a rockin' evening party and has certain bars she wants to visit after. I haven't had the heart to tell her all the bars she has in mind are closed on Sundays...

I'm not trying to be anti-Sunday wedding, I just agree that the cost savings aspects are overrated. Unless you are having a Sunday brunch wedding... in which case pass me a mimosa. 

Where do you live that bars are closed on a Sunday, let alone the Sunday of a holiday weekend?

Anyway, our location did not offer discounts for Friday or Sunday.   I can't remember if a buffet was cheaper or not (we would have never considered one regardless).    

I attack discounts and negotiating like this:   It doesn't hurt to ask, but contrary to popular believe not every company will negotiate.  Some just don't have to negotiate, they have enough business they do not have to cut into their profits.    It's just the way it is.    Don't take it personally.  It's just business.    

blabla89

chloe97 said:

I understand what she is saying about bartering, but I still think that it's worth it to tell your vendors when the price that they quote you is out of your budget. For example, after seeing 2 venues that we liked, we tried to cancel our appointment with the 3rd because we knew that they cost more and we would fall in love with it. I emailed the sales coordinator to tell her that we wanted to cancel because we just couldn't make their prices work in our budget. She emailed back and asked for our budget and figured out how to manipulate the menu and threw in a discount to make it work within our budget. We ended up going with that venue. 

Also, after cutting a lot back from our original floral proposal, we were still about $900 over our budget numbers. I emailed the account manager and let her know that I needed $900 off our proposal to make it work in our budget and she cut down the bouquets a bit, offered different flower alternatives, etc to get us to where we needed to be. 

In these two scenarios, I feel like it's totally okay to negotiate. I think vendors appreciate being told "Thank you for the quote, but unfortunately this is out of our budget" to give them closure. I also think it's fine to be upfront with vendors about what your budget is, and if they offer to work with it then great. With the florist, the main cost is the flowers themselves, so it's reasonable to ask for substitutions.

What's not okay is to say to a vendor, "I want all of this but I only want to pay you $X for it," as if you don't think their time and work is worth their price. That, to me, is rude.

ETA apparently I can't type this morning

chloe97

blabla89 said:

chloe97 said:

I understand what she is saying about bartering, but I still think that it's worth it to tell your vendors when the price that they quote you is out of your budget. For example, after seeing 2 venues that we liked, we tried to cancel our appointment with the 3rd because we knew that they cost more and we would fall in love with it. I emailed the sales coordinator to tell her that we wanted to cancel because we just couldn't make their prices work in our budget. She emailed back and asked for our budget and figured out how to manipulate the menu and threw in a discount to make it work within our budget. We ended up going with that venue. 

Also, after cutting a lot back from our original floral proposal, we were still about $900 over our budget numbers. I emailed the account manager and let her know that I needed $900 off our proposal to make it work in our budget and she cut down the bouquets a bit, offered different flower alternatives, etc to get us to where we needed to be. 

In these two scenarios, I feel like it's totally okay to negotiate. I think vendors appreciate being told "Thank you for the quote, but unfortunately this is out of our budget" to give them closure. I also think it's fine to be upfront with vendors about what your budget is, and if they offer to work with it then great. With the florist, the main cost is the flowers themselves, so it's reasonable to ask for substitutions.

What's not okay is to say to a vendor, "I want all of this but I only want to pay you $X for it," as if you don't think their time and work is worth their price. That, to me, is rude.

ETA apparently I can't type this morning

Yeah, I wouldn't call my DJ and say I don't think you're time is worth $300 an hour, I want to pay you $200 an hour. That is rude. I would call him and say "Look, we only have "$XXXX budgeted for the DJ- we like you- what can we cut back in order to make it work?"  A lot of the extras, like the photobooth or the uplighting are things that can be discounted because they own them and reuse them over and over again for other weddings. And the vendors know if it's worth it to them to cut the amount that they charge for those things to book your date or not. 

badbnagdway

lyndausvi said:

badbnagdway said:

I agree with this piece, I think a lot of touted discounts are not universally available. I do think most can be available depending on the situation. For example, I had a photog I really liked. I told her our budget and what we wanted for it. She basically threw in a second shooter for four hours for free, which was really cool.  

I do especially agree the writer's opinion on non-Saturday weddings. They do not always save you money. I have a friend who is getting married the Sunday of a holiday weekend. The sole purpose of that decision was to save money. She is saving about $400 on her venue because they generally cannot get a wedding booked that date (because it is inconvenient for guests, frankly). $400 is a good chunk of cash, but there is not a single other vendor who she has gotten a discount from. Vendors are more available, but they don't want to work for less just because it's a Sunday. Having a Sunday wedding for $400 of savings on the venue on a $20,000 wedding doesn't make any sense to me. She wants a rockin' evening party and has certain bars she wants to visit after. I haven't had the heart to tell her all the bars she has in mind are closed on Sundays...

I'm not trying to be anti-Sunday wedding, I just agree that the cost savings aspects are overrated. Unless you are having a Sunday brunch wedding... in which case pass me a mimosa. 

Where do you live that bars are closed on a Sunday, let alone the Sunday of a holiday weekend?

Anyway, our location did not offer discounts for Friday or Sunday.   I can't remember if a buffet was cheaper or not (we would have never considered one regardless).    

I attack discounts and negotiating like this:   It doesn't hurt to ask, but contrary to popular believe not every company will negotiate.  Some just don't have to negotiate, they have enough business they do not have to cut into their profits.    It's just the way it is.    Don't take it personally.  It's just business.    

I mean, I don't live in the middle of nowhere, a mid-sized southern city, but it is the bible belt. It's not like all the bars in town will be closed on Sunday evening, but there were three in particular she mentioned specifically (one of them being the place she "simply has to end up") that are not open past 5 pm on Sunday. I would say about half of the bars here would be closed on a Sunday after about 4pm, most of the ones that are not open later are locally owned and operated places. Chain places, like Chili's, would be open. 

I'm not sure what her fascination is with going bar hopping post-wedding anyway, I have a hard time imagining her wearing her wedding dress in the smokey dive bar she really wants to go to. 

Edit: Just to say, I agree, re discounts, it doesn't hurt to ask, or say, "this is what I want, this is my budget". Vendors are not going to lose money on you, they know how much they can discount and still come out ahead. But if you really want a particular vendor it's pointless to dig your heels in over a discount they won't give you. 

sophhabobopha

hellohkb said:

sophhabobopha said:

Thanks for posting this! I'm pretty surprised by a few of these. Deffinatly thought non Saturday was the cheap route.

No problem! When one of my BMs got married, she said she looked into a Sunday wedding and they actually told her it would be MORE expensive. I guess maybe they didn't normally do weddings on that day?

Wuuurt.

[Deleted User]

The only thing I've received a price break on was venue and booze related (venue provides the booze).  They discounted the reception space pricing on Sundays and we didn't have to meet a minimum headcount on the booze- I saved a lot of money this way.

I was expecting to have to pay additional fees for having a cake delivered on a Sunday as many bakeries are closed, but we decided this weekend to go with our catering company as our baker, so our delivery fee is already included.  Same thing with my florist, but since we decided to do sola flowers for us and our parents/g-parents (no wedding party) and just do our centerpieces ourselves, no additional delivery fee so far...

charcoalandblush

The big cost savings at our venue is the food and beverage minimum. It's $10,000 on Saturdays and $3000 on Sundays. But we're expecting 175-200 guests, so there's no way our catering bill would be less than $10,000 anyway.

I'm not sure what the breakdown is for plated vs. buffet at our venue... I was totally under the assumption that buffet was cheaper. Maybe I need to look more closely at those plated dinners.

thisismynickname2

Interesting article. For me, the venue's minimums would be less on Fridays and Sundays. Saturday is such an in-demand day, the venues can certainly book bigger events to command higher minimums and let the smaller parties have Fridays and Sundays. 

My photographer had a smaller package that was also available only to non-popular times, for the same reason. Since we went with a Saturday event we didn't get any of these savings!

On a related note, during my planning process my dad sent me an article about saving money on venues. It was laughable (not his fault)-- the author was all, "Check out libraries and museums and parks!" Um, in my city, those are some of the MOST expensive venues. I don't know where that author lived, but writing for a nationwide publication, she should have done more research.  

Dreamergirl8812

My venue's minimum head count was much less on a weekday than a Saturday. I don't remember if we got any vendor discounts though. And our buffet was much cheaper than the plated option.

I think the only point of this article is that generalizations can be wrong. Which shouldn't really be a shock to anyone.

badbnagdway

thisismynickname said:

On a related note, during my planning process my dad sent me an article about saving money on venues. It was laughable (not his fault)-- the author was all, "Check out libraries and museums and parks!" Um, in my city, those are some of the MOST expensive venues. I don't know where that author lived, but writing for a nationwide publication, she should have done more research.  

STB

Yeah, I looked and looked into parks and city owned spaces here. But in the end, even though the rental prices were actually cheaper, they were not actually less expensive because of one or all of the following: 1). I would need to rent everything and have it delivered - chairs, tent, dance floor, 2). Booze was only allowed with a very high level of event insurance, a special permit, and at least two police officers to act as security. Also, some did not allow booze at all. That was a no-go for me, but for a dry wedding wouldn't have mattered. I think the problem is just the gross generalizations related to savings. 

poodledoodleooo

Most venues in my area weren't cheaper in their pricing on non-Saturdays but had a lower food and beverage minimum. This could be a big saver or not.

We were also offered a lot of free ''upgrades" for our winter wedding rather than discounts. It seemed like we got more of a sales pitch from our potential venues than some of my friends who were married in the summer. I'm in the north, so yeah, winter weddings are not popular here!

FiancB

Nearly all the venues I looked at were waaaay cheaper for a Sunday or Friday, or at least had a much smaller minimum. Like half. idk about that one. I was looking at venues both in OR and MN too.  

Buffets were cheaper at our venue but only by a little. If we were dead set on plated we would've done it but I prefer buffet anyway. 

Jells2dot0

I got married on a Friday in April in Maryland the first time around. I did not get any off-peak or Friday night discounts from any of my vendors. The venue we chose did not have a buffet option either. There just isn't anything cheap about weddings unless you just pay the ~$50+/- for the marriage license.

huskypuppy14

We had stations, and the stations package was cheaper than some plated options and more expensive than others. So that is venue specific. We picked the stations because it gave more options and was cheaper than the plated options we wanted. 

Also, most of the times it's only the minimums that are less on Friday or Sunday. I've never really seen oh it's 100 dollars per person for Saturday night, but only 90 for Friday. I'm sure it happens, but it's not the norm.  Our venue's minimum was less on Friday, but we were going to meet the Saturday minimum anyway, so might as well have it on a Saturday. 

Many venues consider Sunday of a holiday weekend a Saturday, so that doesn't help people anyway.

YogaSandy

We got married in a small town. Our venue didn't have a caterer. We hired great caterers who were not full time caterers, because there just isn't enough business here in that. Anyway, because they weren't a full-time businesses, they didn't have a regular staff to serve, they just had people they hired regularly to do it when needed. These people also had regular, full-time, other jobs. We got married on a holiday weekend, so they weren't able to get the number of servers they needed. They knew this far ahead of time. Plated service was always cheaper with them, but since they couldn't get the staff for our wedding, we got buffet for the plated price.