So, I guess this is just a vent of sorts, but since FI is out of town, I needed to get it out somehow...
My year has gotten off to a rocky start. Three days into 2015, my sister's beloved family dog had to be put down. I was there to support her, and I must say, it was SO hard to watch. The next day, I got a call from my dad that my grandma died suddenly. She was 96, and in relatively good health considering her age. One minute she was fine, the next she was dead. At least she went quickly, and she was happy and not alone when she went. And she was ready. Still, I was close with her, and it was just so sudden.
Fast forward to beginning of February, my grandpa (on my mom's side) developed a chest cold that would not go away. Last week he went into the hospital, and the doctors found a mass in his lung. Biopsy came back showing aggressive lung cancer (he was a heavy smoker for 50 years). They gave him 6-12 months IF he responds well to chemo, but given his age, it's not likely he will respond well. My mom is working to move him up here ASAP so she can care for him in his last days. I LOVE my grandpa, he is just such a sweet, kind, gentle, funny man. I'm just not ready to lose him so soon after my grandma. He's my last living grandparent, and I was really hoping he could be at my wedding, but it looks like he may not make it that long.
And now I am in the final stages of wedding planning (less than four months - yay!). But I am feeling so overwhelmed, and it's just so hard to balance the joy of starting a new phase in my life with so much sadness at losing two people (and a dog) who were an important part of my life. I'm trying to focus on the good things, but it is just so hard to balance it all. They say bad things come in threes, but now I just find myself expecting the bad to come. This is not how I envisioned the year I get married starting.
I'm going to go pour a glass of wine now.