Etiquette

Meeting his family for the first time - what gift(s) to bring?

Okay etiquette ladies - I'm nervous and I need your advice.

I'm traveling from Massachusetts to Texas in a few weeks to meet FI's family for the first time. We've been together for 3 years and are getting married in May but I haven't met his family yet. They aren't close and FI himself hasn't seen them in 5 years so he's not really able to provide a lot of insight into this (I think he's also sort of nervous for the trip, to be honest). We will be staying with his brother and SIL for 3 days. His sister and nephew, as well as his mother, will be traveling in from out of town for one day so I will also meet them. I'm usually comfortable meeting new people and being a guest in someone's house, but this is a whole new situation. I suspect that they're more traditional than my family and I'd like to bring gifts, especially for his brother and SIL who will be hosting us. I'll also bring something small for the kids (FBIL has a 6 month-old daughter and FSIL has a 5 year-old son). What would you bring?!?

Re: Meeting his family for the first time - what gift(s) to bring?

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's
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    For the parents a nice bouquet of flowers and possibly something edible like chocolates or wine (if they drink) or cookies would be nice.

    As for the kids, I have no clue.

    Honestly, your FI could be helpful.  Since you are staying with his brother couldn't he call him up or message him and ask?  I get that they aren't close and haven't seen each other in a while but I am thinking that they have had to talk recently to set this trip up right?

    CMGragain
  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work
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    I would ask your fiance if they drink alcohol and bring something they would like. OR, you could bring something from Mass that isn't avail in TX (I'm thinking Mike's Pastry's cannoli, yum!) 
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    vmj23
  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein Cold Canadian North (British Columbia)
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    The first time I met FIL's it was on Christmas day. I brought his dad a bottle of scotch and his mum a poinsettia. 

    I think a bottle of wine or some flowers are fairly standard host gifts. Perhaps a small toy car or stuffie for the kids? I
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston
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    edited February 2015
    Wine, flowers, or perhaps a gift card to a restaurant they like to eat at would be appropriate.  You might ask your FI what they would appreciate.  He can also ask his folks about the kids.
  • amelishaamelisha Canadian Texas
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    Nice bottle of wine and flowers is always nice. If your area has any food items traditional there (maple syrup, fancy cheese, something like that?) you could bring something like that too. Consumables are always good hostess gifts. I like to make up little baskets with wine, good coffee, chocolate, that kind of thing too sometimes.

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  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta
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    You should bring them lobster rolls, obvi.

    JK. Flowers and a bottle of wine or candy is a perfectly nice host gift. I'm not sure about the kids - maybe a book for each of them?
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  • I don't think you need to give his mom and sister anything, especially if they're travelling into town and not hosting you. For his brother and SIL who are hosting you, a nice bottle of wine if they drink, chocolates if they dont,  and some flowers is a perfect hostess gift. If you want to get the nephew something, find something local, like chocolates or maple syrup. Kids love candy and sweet food ;)

  • If you're from the Berkshires bring them syrup from a local farm! Or wine/flowers are always good. Does the 5 month old have one of those rubber giraffes? Babies go crazy for them. For the 5 y/o, maybe a foam pogo stick? I've given it to children of a few friends, and they've all loved it.

    http://www.amazon.com/Vulli-Sophie-Giraffe-Teether-Brown/dp/B000IDSLOG

    http://www.amazon.com/Kidoozie-G02404-Foam-Pogo-Jumper/dp/B00704IO48
  • edited February 2015
    Do they drink wine? 

    If they do drink, then I think wine is always a good gift.   If you came to my home with wine, I would probably like you from the start.  But, that's just me. 
    slothiegal[Deleted User]SP29kaitlynmichelle
  • slothiegalslothiegal The Sloth Farm
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    Do they drink wine? 


    If they do drink, then I think wine is always a good gift.   If you came to my home with wine, I'd would probably like you from the start.  But, that's just me. 
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  • I love to bake, so when I met my BF's family I brought his mom and sister loaves of homemade bread.  They were a little surprised that I brought them anything, but...my grandmother would have lectured me from now until Sunday if I had showed up empty-handed.

    Edible things are always good, IMO.  I love the idea of something local to MA.  For the kids, maybe one of those slightly silly state-themed stuffed animals they sell in airports?

  • @msbride2015 True dat! 

    OP- I think a hostess gift is a good idea. As above, wine is always good. Some treats from somewhere local to you would also be good (bakery, etc). 

    I don't think you have to get anything for the kids, of course a gift is never wrong. I think books or small stuffed animal are good ideas. 
  • Thanks for all the ideas! I don't think they're big drinkers so I won't go the wine route (normally that's what I'd do!). Flowers are good but we're flying in and being picked up at the airport by his brother, so there are some logistical problems with that.

    Maple syrup is a fantastic idea! I think I'm definitely going to do that. Baking is also a great idea. I am sure I can think of something that will store/travel well. And some stuff for the kids, but that's easy for me.

    At the end of the day I think I'm making a big deal of this because it's HIS FAMILY. But if I calm myself down for a few minutes and just think of them as I would anyone else then I can figure this out.
    adk19
  • I would do a hostess gift for his brother and SIL. Wine, flowers and baked goods are always good. 
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