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Was this as rude as I perceived it to be?

I went to H's friend's child's first birthday party. I actually got the birthday present right before the party, because I threw my back out and couldn't go shopping yesterday. They didn't open any of the presents in front of their guests. H's friend is really into batman, so we got the baby fisher price comic little people. It was so adorable. As well as a little tunnel to play in.  Apparently, three people had this idea, and all got their kid the  Fisher Price Comic Little People.  When I got home, I came home to this message from H's friend's wife with my name and the names of others tagged in the post with the duplicate gift:  "Way to go muffinman, gingerbreadman, and bundtcakeman on great communications! " And then she shared a pic on facebook of three duplicate gifts. Am I being unreasonable to be pissed? I though that was rude as hell.  She also told everyone to bring a book instead of a card. I had feared that the books could have been duplicated. I didn't want to write a message in a book, because she would not have been able to return it, so I got her a little card as well. I put both the card and the gift receipt inside the book.
  She has said some other nasty things to me, in the past, and I don't know if what she did was rude, or if I am thinking she was rude because of my previous problems with her. Was her comment rude?  I thought the appropriate thing to do was thank everyone whether you liked the gift, had a duplicate, or didn't like the gift. If I were close to someone (like my mom or sister, I would as them for the receipt, if I didn't have one... but never anyone else).
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Re: Was this as rude as I perceived it to be?

  • Super fucking rude. It is not your job to check with other people to see what gifts you're getting. Did she also expect you guys to check in with each other to make sure you weren't wearing the same outfit?


    Fuckery on a grand scale, I say.
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  • Holy crap. I would be really angry. How about she be gracious and thankful that people came and gave gifts to her child?! And to poke fun at all three of you on FB is tacky and gross. Honestly, that would be the last time I gave any of them a gift.
  • What a rude, bitch. I agree with PPs - no more gifts for that family! Honestly, I wouldn't even want to be friends anymore.


  • Rude bitch. I'd be finished.
  • A million percent rude. Holy crap!

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  • edited March 2015
    At the birthday party, she said she wanted to have us over for dinner. I accepted, because she hadn't written this bitchy comment, yet.  Do I write to her and tell her I found her comment to be rude or just block her and let my husband deal with answering them as to why i will be declining the dinner invitation. DO I have to go to this dinner, because I previously accepted?  What is proper etiquette?
  • How incredibly rude. Not being gracious about a gift is one thing, but publicly shaming people over their gift?

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    If they're your H's friends, I'd say let him deal with it. But you know the flu is going around, and darn it, you were sick in bed all day and your H has to stay home and take care of you...how about rescheduling dinner for sometime, like, never.
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  • @lolo883, can I block her on fb, or just unfriend her?  I really don't want to ruin H's relationship with his friend.  I think she is the type of person who would stop her H from seeing people she has a problem with.     I would hate to get between our husbands' relationship, but I really just don't like to see nasty people like that on my fb page.  I have hidden her from my feed, but she tagged me, so I was bound to see it. Life's too short to deal with people like that.
  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2015

    Rude.

    Ugh.  I could maybe see doing a jokey post where you go "Great minds think alike!  At least we'll have extras when he loses pieces!"  But I'm even just appalled that people would go posting about their gifts (positive or negative) on Facebook to begin with, let alone before even properly thanking the person for the gift, and then being rude about it to boot.  That is the last gift that family would ever get from me.

    ETA:  And no - you don't have to spend more time with this person.  Life is too short to spend it with obnoxious ***holes. 

  • ...just playing devil's advocate here, because 100% yes the comment was incredibly rude...

    Is there any way she maybe didn't mean it the way it came across? Is it possible she was trying to be playful and jokey about it and failed? I have to actively filter my jokeyness because I know I can come off rude sometimes. I had someone say something to me about it many years ago, when I was much younger. Maybe she just hasn't figured out that sometimes her mannerisms that are "normal" to her, come off as extremely rude to other people, because nobody has called her out on it?

    I mean, it certainly doesn't change the fact that it was insanely rude, and if I were receiving that comment, I wouldn't want to associate further with that person either way. I'm just trying to posit an alternative to "she is deliberately hateful and hurtful to me and other people and I don't know why."
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  • She does this sort of thing, people have called her out on it, and then she deletes the thread. No apology, no nothing.  And then makes a second post about how some people aren't worth her time. So i know she knows she is rude, but she just doesn't care, when people bring it up to her.
  • Wow, that's really rude. I agree, you don't need to be friends with her anymore! Since her husband is friends with yours, I would let your H deal with them from now on.
  • She does this sort of thing, people have called her out on it, and then she deletes the thread. No apology, no nothing.  And then makes a second post about how some people aren't worth her time. So i know she knows she is rude, but she just doesn't care, when people bring it up to her.

    Then absolutely ignore my comment. If she's been called out on it, and continues to do the same shit then she is, as she so eloquently put it, not worth your time.

    Thankfully you don't have to be friends with this person for your H to be friends with her husband. I would decline to attend any further events with her. The politeness (or lack thereof) in declining is up to you. :)
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  • Now, should I block her husband as well?  He is a nice guy, but she will log in under his name to reprimand people who have had a problem with her, or to find something out.
  • edited March 2015
    beethery said:

    At the birthday party, she said she wanted to have us over for dinner. I accepted, because she hadn't written this bitchy comment, yet.  Do I write to her and tell her I found her comment to be rude or just block her and let my husband deal with answering them as to why i will be declining the dinner invitation. DO I have to go to this dinner, because I previously accepted?  What is proper etiquette?

    Tell her you came down with the shits.



    Yes, say it must be something you ate at her party.

    Seriously, you don't have to go to her dinner. Don't give her an excuse. When she asks you if you would like to come to dinner Friday night, just 'No. Gotta go, bye.'

                       
  • Tell her you're alleregic to bitchyness.
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  • Yeah, she was way out of line with that, and if it's a habit of hers then you should ditch her ASAP. I have battled depression all my life, and under no circumstances would I accept the "but I'm/they're depressed" defense for assholery. If I can get through life without acting like a little bitch, then so can she. 

    Also, if your quarrel is not with the husband, then leave him be until such time as Bitchy McStalkerson actually makes a move via his account. If you post anything you don't want her to know about, just make sure you set it to not be visible to him - that way, if she creeps on you then it's no harm done. If/when she actually uses his account to harass you, then you can ditch him too, but at that point I'd be having a talk with him about it and letting him know that it's not because of him but because of her that you no longer socialize with them.

    And no, you absolutely do not have to go to dinner. And you know what? You don't have to give an excuse either. Just "I won't be there" will suffice.
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  • edited March 2015
    I unfriended her on facebook. I really want to block her, but I don't want to cause problems between H and his friend. If more drama comes my way, I will block her.
      I have just hid her husband from my posts so she can't see what I post, in the future. 
        I know this drama will rear it's ugly head when I have a first birthday party for my future spawn and don't want to invite them, because them includes her.
  • Now, should I block her husband as well?  He is a nice guy, but she will log in under his name to reprimand people who have had a problem with her, or to find something out.

    UGH, what kind of fucked up...? NOPE. DROP 'EM BOTH.
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    I'm the fuck
    out.

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