*angry noises*

0Face

So I started the conversation with H over the phone like "Hey, can we talk tonight?" and he's all "about what" and I told him, and then it was "you've had ample time these last days to talk to me".

Oh yeah...so when you were asleep on Wednesday or wait...when we were moving umpteen things on Thursday or...maybe when we ran around town on Friday and then had dinner with friends from 6-midnight.  Or wait...Saturday when you were gone all day and then had people over at 6?  Or wait...yesterday when you were gone all day and then ran around like crazy...all of those times? 

yeah...so apparently I can only mention things when he's not busy or when he doesn't have things planned, or he's not going back to work the next day.  WTF.  Okay...sure.  I'm angry, and I feel like I have a right to be angry, and my anger and his anger are not mutually exclusive.  But for fuck's sake---how am I supposed to navigate this stuff?

0Face

And if he starts the conversation by saying "if there's anything to talk about you should mention it while I'm off work".  And if I start it after that, he takes that as me not having initiative.  I'm screwed if I do and screwed if I don't.  I'm serious...I feel completely railroaded.  *sigh*

And ready to cry at work, which is always fun.

auntflo2point0

I don't know what is going on, but it sounds like he's not being fair to you. (((hugs)))

mrsconn23

((hugs)) 

I'm sorry. I hope you get a chance to talk. 

DixieNormous330

I'm sorry 0. This is all very familiar to me. The latest is about baby names and our move.

6fsn

I'm sorry mrsO. It's really hard when people don't work regular schedules. Hopefully he sees at its nt easy on you either. Was there a counseling session with you two?

MesmrEwe

...and here I was thinking we need a good "Gonad punch post" about SO's!  (the "D" isn't exactly "Dear" right now with DH either)

0Face

6---I haven't crossed the bridge yet.  I'm very happy with how things are progressing with my personal sessions, I suppose it would be great to establish some better communication skills with H, though just suggesting that may be bad too...I just hate unknowns because my natural assumption is for disaster.  And then sometimes I think I help that along by doing things I know will result that way---and in a way control the outcome.  If that makes sense.

*Barbie*

it may help if you just wrote out what you wanted to talk about and then gave him the letter and told him to set up time with you when he was ready to talk. 

you might want to try the joint counseling session first as well. if you feel like the communication this far has been ineffective, it might help to get you guys on the same page before you talk about something like kids. 

6fsn

I'll just say this after being on both sides of the oddball schedule, it is hard to find the right time to talk.  That right time changes from person to person and as the schedule changes.  It's something you two will need to figure out with or without someone helping you.

FWIW- I think your approach was more than fair.

Unknown

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