Choosing Bridesmaids...!

Knottie65716960

I am having the hardest time finalizing my bridal party. I have one sister, but my fiancé and I have decided to give her an alternative role since she is younger and we have never been close. Is this okay? My fiancé has two sisters. One of them I have had a closer relationship than the other. The one that I am close with has also told my fiancé that she would be hurt if she isn't in the wedding. As far as friends go, I was considering making my MOH one of my friends, but I am afraid she may find it strange to be my MOH since she was my fiancé's good friend originally. Her boyfriend is also going to by the Best Man. The biggest dilemma overall is whether to ask my three, relatively new, friends from nursing school. We instantly bonded and could not imagine having them with me throughout this whole process. I have another friend from high school that expects she will be my MOH, but she makes no effort to keep our friendship. When we are together we are the best of friends, but when we aren't I have no idea anything about her. Should she be considered a bridesmaid?

This is the dilemma I have been having and has been making the wedding planning miserable. Any insight or suggestions?

OliveOilsMom

Knottie65716960 said:

I am having the hardest time finalizing my bridal party. I have one sister, but my fiancé and I have decided to give her an alternative role since she is younger and we have never been close. Is this okay? My fiancé has two sisters. One of them I have had a closer relationship than the other. The one that I am close with has also told my fiancé that she would be hurt if she isn't in the wedding. As far as friends go, I was considering making my MOH one of my friends, but I am afraid she may find it strange to be my MOH since she was my fiancé's good friend originally. Her boyfriend is also going to by the Best Man. The biggest dilemma overall is whether to ask my three, relatively new, friends from nursing school. We instantly bonded and could not imagine having them with me throughout this whole process. I have another friend from high school that expects she will be my MOH, but she makes no effort to keep our friendship. When we are together we are the best of friends, but when we aren't I have no idea anything about her. Should she be considered a bridesmaid?

This is the dilemma I have been having and has been making the wedding planning miserable. Any insight or suggestions?

Your BP should be your nearest and dearest.  If you are not close to certain people, then you should not ask them to be in your BP.  The question most commonly asked to identify your BP would be "If you had to hide a dead body in the middle of the night, who would you call?" Those people are the ones who should be in the BP.

Just don't explain to people why some were chosen to be in the BP and others weren't.  

flantastic

Knottie65716960 said:

I am having the hardest time finalizing my bridal party. I have one sister, but my fiancé and I have decided to give her an alternative role since she is younger and we have never been close. Is this okay? My fiancé has two sisters. One of them I have had a closer relationship than the other. The one that I am close with has also told my fiancé that she would be hurt if she isn't in the wedding. As far as friends go, I was considering making my MOH one of my friends, but I am afraid she may find it strange to be my MOH since she was my fiancé's good friend originally. Her boyfriend is also going to by the Best Man. The biggest dilemma overall is whether to ask my three, relatively new, friends from nursing school. We instantly bonded and could not imagine having them with me throughout this whole process. I have another friend from high school that expects she will be my MOH, but she makes no effort to keep our friendship. When we are together we are the best of friends, but when we aren't I have no idea anything about her. Should she be considered a bridesmaid?

This is the dilemma I have been having and has been making the wedding planning miserable. Any insight or suggestions?

Ask the people that you are close to. That is what a bridal party is for - to honor the people who are closest in your life by having them stand actually physically closest to you as you get married.

So it's definitely okay if you don't ask your sister - she's not owed it. The length of the relationship shouldn't matter, so if you're really close to your school friends and not to your high school friend, it's okay to ask them but not the other. If you're close to the girl who was originally your fiancé's friend, she shouldn't think anything of it - and if for some reason she feels strangely, she can decline.

The advice I can give would be to wait to ask until at least 9 months from the wedding - as you've noticed, relationships can change even within a year, and we get a lot of people complaining that they hardly know some of the bridal party they asked 2 years out. Also, you don't need to fill a certain number of slots or have even sides - you ask however many people you want, and your fiancé should do the same. Breathe. If you think it'll cause drama, you don't need to designate anyone the "chosen one" - it's fine not to have a MOH. No one is obligated to plan pre-wedding parties, people offer, so not having a MOH will not "hurt" you in that sense.

mikenberger

Knottie65716960 said:

Thank you both for your help. It is greatly appreciated and has helped me make a decision. I do think I will wait to tell anyone since the wedding is still a little over a year away. Thanks again!

Good call!

Knottie65716960

Thank you both for your help. It is greatly appreciated and has helped me make a decision. I do think I will wait to tell anyone since the wedding is still a little over a year away. Thanks again!