How to write vows?

augsum15

I was trying to explain to my fiancé what should be in his vows, but I realized I don't really know myself. I've looked online for some different template type things to try and help get started but there's so much and we don't wanna be writing essays! Does anyone have a short and sweet list of things to touch on? We've got a few months to get it together but I don't think either of us really know where to start, as we're not super wordy/emotional people!

artbyallie

The most important thing is that your vows are promises to each other, not love letters or stories about how you met or things that happened to you. And IMO I don't like vows that include 'silly' promises, like making pancakes every Sunday or whatever. 

mlg78

Our minister gave us great advice.  Choose 5 or so things that you want to promise to one another... I believe we chose to love, be faithful, "in good times and in bad", respect...and another that is escaping my mind.  We each took those and put it into our own words.  Throw in a line or two at the beginning and then a wrap up line at the end and you're done.  Very easy.  For our minister it was important to him that we promise the same thing to one another which I really liked.

theartistformerlyknownas

Ditto PPs. I would start with the traditional, scripted ones and take it from there. Is there something you've been through together that would be especially meaningful to promise?

Just leave things like putting the toilet seat down out of it.

Jen4948

Make your vows about things you are seriously promising each other. Don't use them as verbal love letters or stand-up comedy acts, or promise anything you can't realistically deliver, like never going to bed angry.

cupcait927

PPs have it covered (no love letters, keep the silliness to a minimum) but here are two links (here and here) that helped me when I was writing my vows to H.

levioosa

Ditto PPs.  I also can't stand "silly vows."  I all about mac n cheese, but to me vows shouldn't include, "I promise to always let you have the last bite of mac n cheese." 

Besides, the last bite is always cold.  It's all about the first bite. 

jenijoyk

Do you mean your vows, or your ceremony? The vows were the easiest part for us. We are also not overly sentimental/super wordy people, and we definitely did not want our ceremony to go on forever, and have that awkward "John. [Insert big heavy deep breath.] From the moment I saw you [insert goopy cute meet story]. [Insert platitudes.] [Insert inside joke none of your guests get.] [Insert crying.] [Etc. etc.]." 

So this was the entire extent of our vows:

J and R are you ready to take your wedding vows?

We are.

I ask of you both, do you promise to choose each other every day, to love and be faithful to one another in word and deed?

We do.

Do you promise to recognize one another as equals, and support one another in your goals and wishes for the future?

We do.

Do you promise to always share your thoughts, and feelings, and concerns with one another, and be open and honest at all times?

We do.

Do you promise to comfort, protect, and defend each other for the rest of your lives?

We do.

Do you promise that come hell or high water, recession or ruin, misfortune or sickness, that you are in this together, no matter what?

We do. 

Done!

augsum15

No not the full ceremony, I'm not sure how they're suppose to be done in the states, but in canada there is a specific format for civil ceremonies that legally must be followed, there's all the traditional bits, etc, but we do have the option of including our own personal words if we so choose, so I'm just kinda looking for a general idea of something to follow, not necessarily adding in goofy inside jokes that make no sense. I kinda like what you suggested @mlg78, that's actually really helpful. 

FutureMsNguyen

I found this article on TK, Hope it helps!
https://www.theknot.com/content/how-to-write-your-own-wedding-vows