No Reception

madisonbh

I am getting married in Vegas in June and I am getting ready to send out my invitations this month. I'm not planning on doing a reception or anything because I'm not really planning on a ton of people being there since it is a destination wedding. Do I need to let people know that it's really just going to be a ceremony then pictures and then maybe dinner and a show? Do I still have them RSVP? I'm really kind of just sending invitations so that everyone knows that it's happening and doesn't feel left out or feel like I didn't want them there. I'm a little confused about this part of it. Thanks for your input. 

vegasgroom

Personally I'd just elope if that's the situation, and then you can casually let people know what you're doing if they choose to come visit you while you're in Vegas.  If it's not formal, you don't care if they rsvp, the day is going to be the same whether they attend or not, and there is no event/activity to thank them for making the trip to see you get married (the purpose of the reception), then an elopment and no formal invites sounds more suitable. 

jenni5672

How many people are you inviting? We were going to do the same thing. But way more are coming. So wer are doing cocktail reception at a pub called McMullan's. Great food. Owner was very nice. So changed it to rsvp. Since they are coming so far, I felt we needed to do something after ceremony. 

amelisha

If people come (and if you're sending invitations, it's very likely that someone will - we thought none of our friends would come and then every single one of them said yes), then you are obligated by etiquette and good manners to provide some kind of "reception", whether that be a casual dinner at a restaurant, drinks and dessert in your hotel suite, or whatever. It's meant as a thank-you to your guests for witnessing the wedding, and it's really not optional. You don't have to have a hotel ballroom with dinner and dancing and a DJ, but you do need to provide something. If your wedding is in the early afternoon, then snacks and drinks would be more than enough. If it's at 6PM, then dinner would be a more gracious option. 

We didn't send formal invitations or anything and we're only having about 20 guests including our parents, and our wedding is pretty much as low-key as possible, but I'm still having dinner for everyone because it's the right, polite thing to do. If you don't want to host your guests at all, then unfortunately you should not invite any. I'm not trying to be snotty here, but seriously it is totally rude to invite people to a wedding ceremony and not provide some kind of refreshments and social time afterwards. Please don't do it.

Don't invite anyone if you don't want to host them.

hmgiffor

I would say if people are coming...you should at least take them to dinner as a thank you. Otherwise as vegasgroom stated..just elope. 

tcnoble

Great advice by PPs and just echoing their advice... If you have guests, you must host them.

madisonbh

I was sort of thinking the same thing. That's why I have been so hesitant to send invitations. We aren't going to elope because we want our (close) families to be there but I don't want other people to feel obligated to come. I think that I might just contact a few people a let them know that it's happening and just explain the situation and then leave it up to them if they want to come. I know it's a long way for people to travel just for a ceremony. Thanks for the advice everyone. 

hmgiffor

I would say only invite those that you want there. This shows that you want them there and let them decide if they want to come. You may be surprised who wants to come Just keep in mind budget for hosting maybe a dinner. 

amelisha

madisonbh said:

I was sort of thinking the same thing. That's why I have been so hesitant to send invitations. We aren't going to elope because we want our (close) families to be there but I don't want other people to feel obligated to come. I think that I might just contact a few people a let them know that it's happening and just explain the situation and then leave it up to them if they want to come. I know it's a long way for people to travel just for a ceremony. Thanks for the advice everyone. 

We didn't send invitations. I spoke to the friends we wanted there personally and then I handwrote all of them a short little note saying something like "We're getting married in Vegas on [date] and it's going to be very low-key and casual, no formal invitations, but we wanted you to have in writing that we love you a lot and we would love to have you there. We don't want you to feel obligated or pressured and we completely understand that it's a huge ask, but we just wanted to make sure, if a trip to Vegas in May would be possible for you, that you knew that we would be thrilled to have you there." 

We gave those to our very best friends (mostly so they would have the date without me having to, like...text it to them) and talked to them about it, and ultimately all of them decided to come. But we didn't ask ANYONE we weren't prepared to host. I made sure the chapel was big enough, we had transportation for everyone, and that we could afford dinner and drinks for everyone afterwards. And it's a good thing I did because, like I said, literally everyone said yes.

That's just the reality of inviting people to a wedding no matter where you have it. You have to know you can host everyone properly and not invite more people than you can seat and feed. 

madisonbh

I honestly don't think that I would have that many people say yes because the majority of them would have to come from Georgia. I have actually already had a ton of people tell me that they will not be there. Unfortunately, I can't afford to buy dinner for everyone so I think I'll just send out announcements after the wedding. :-)

adverb

I am coming from Florida to have my wedding in Vegas. I'm still not sure who will attend. My FI's sisters probably will not be there. All I have for my family now is just my mom, who lives in Israel. So I am very unsure who is coming. Either way though, I will be having a ceremony and reception in the suite. Just who will show up is the question...

For the record, I wanted to elope but FI wanted the party, so we are compromising, since it's ultimately more of a sacrifice to him to have the wedding in Vegas instead of locally where a lot of his family lives.

tcnoble

madisonbh said:

I honestly don't think that I would have that many people say yes because the majority of them would have to come from Georgia. I have actually already had a ton of people tell me that they will not be there. Unfortunately, I can't afford to buy dinner for everyone so I think I'll just send out announcements after the wedding. :-)

Sending out announcements after is a great idea if you aren't looking to host many guests. That way you can still host your close family and thank them for coming

amelisha

tcnoble said:

madisonbh said:

I honestly don't think that I would have that many people say yes because the majority of them would have to come from Georgia. I have actually already had a ton of people tell me that they will not be there. Unfortunately, I can't afford to buy dinner for everyone so I think I'll just send out announcements after the wedding. :-)

Sending out announcements after is a great idea if you aren't looking to host many guests. That way you can still host your close family and thank them for coming

Yep, unfortunately this is the only polite thing to do. If you invite them you've gotta feed them, haha.