Advice from experience

jenna8984

I have gathered so much helpful information from all you smart ladies over the past year. I thought we should have a thread of "I fucked this up- take my advice so you don't fuck it up too"

Don't hire a friend as a vendor! Don't try to skimp on things that are very important to you (like photography!)

Don't ever trust other people with bills in your name. Don't cosign anything for anyone. I left my college apartment two months before the lease was up. The roommates were supposed to cancel the cable when they moved out and they never did so I had a massive bill in my name.

Don't be afraid to ask for a raise if you've earned it. This is my second company where I've given a written request and was approved for 90% of the amount I asked for. Do consult with a trusted friend or mentor on how to word the request to best highlight how you've earned it.

Don't waste so much time on people who don't want to be your friend/ make no effort.

Don't put a plastic bowl or colander on a hot glass cooktop...or your ass....my friend sat on hers and smashed right through it!

 

levioosa

I already know this one, but I still continue to do it:

Don't procrastinate.  It bites you in the ass every time.

julieanne912

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

blabla89

jenna8984 said:

I have gathered so much helpful information from all you smart ladies over the past year. I thought we should have a thread of "I fucked this up- take my advice so you don't fuck it up too"

Don't hire a friend as a vendor! Don't try to skimp on things that are very important to you (like photography!)

Don't ever trust other people with bills in your name. Don't cosign anything for anyone. I left my college apartment two months before the lease was up. The roommates were supposed to cancel the cable when they moved out and they never did so I had a massive bill in my name.

Don't be afraid to ask for a raise if you've earned it. This is my second company where I've given a written request and was approved for 90% of the amount I asked for. Do consult with a trusted friend or mentor on how to word the request to best highlight how you've earned it.

Don't waste so much time on people who don't want to be your friend/ make no effort.

Don't put a plastic bowl or colander on a hot glass cooktop...or your ass....my friend sat on hers and smashed right through it!

 

Bolded: This is great advice. Don't be afraid to ask for a promotion (if you really believe you deserve it) either. I was working my ass off while hoping for my last promotion to just "happen" until a coworker finally explained that in our company, it doesn't happen unless you ask for it.

Also, don't drink a quart of gatorade before you go into a long meeting.

ChemFanatic25

jenna8984 said:

I have gathered so much helpful information from all you smart ladies over the past year. I thought we should have a thread of "I fucked this up- take my advice so you don't fuck it up too"

Don't hire a friend as a vendor! Don't try to skimp on things that are very important to you (like photography!)

Don't ever trust other people with bills in your name. Don't cosign anything for anyone. I left my college apartment two months before the lease was up. The roommates were supposed to cancel the cable when they moved out and they never did so I had a massive bill in my name.

Don't be afraid to ask for a raise if you've earned it. This is my second company where I've given a written request and was approved for 90% of the amount I asked for. Do consult with a trusted friend or mentor on how to word the request to best highlight how you've earned it.

Don't waste so much time on people who don't want to be your friend/ make no effort.

Don't put a plastic bowl or colander on a hot glass cooktop...or your ass....my friend sat on hers and smashed right through it!

 

I giggled at the last one. Why would you sit on a colander on a hot cooktop?

theartistformerlyknownas

Go to the bathroom before you paint your nails.

NowIamMrsKlein

Double check what city you are buying tickets for. One time I didn't realize that the site had defaulted to another province and I ended up buying concert tickets for Toronto rather than Edmonton. 

KatieinBkln

Trust your gut when it comes to work. Don't spend 3 years hating a job just because it looked good on paper. You aren't being ungrateful, you're being taken advantage of. "Grateful" has no place in an employer-employee relationship. Remember that. And it doesn't matter what you thought you wanted; if it isn't a good fit no amount of "but I like this one small aspect!" is going to fix it.

Looking back, I knew on day one that that job was wack. I can't say "Quit a job that gives you shitty vibes on day one," but I can say that you should take that feeling seriously, and if things are still shitty 3 months later, start looking. Don't get sucked into a toxic culture for less than you're worth! (Or, if you're like a friend of mine, SNAP UP that job opportunity that pops up a month after you started a job that gave you bad vibes. Lucky duck, that girl.)

jenna8984

lolo883 said:

Go to the bathroom before you paint your nails.

hahaha this reminds me of my lotion/ deodorant every morning. If I lotion first, I cannot open my deodorant! My hand just keeps sliding off the lid!

penguin44

Go to the bathroom before you paint your nails.

I seem to forget this quite frequently...

Casadena

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

Double check what city you are buying tickets for. One time I didn't realize that the site had defaulted to another province and I ended up buying concert tickets for Toronto rather than Edmonton. 

I almost did something similar with PLANE TICKETS 3 weeks ago.  I somehow switched the to/from cities in the middle of searching.  CC info was entered and everything, thank god I had H look to make sure the times were ok for him to pick me up and he noticed....

Others:

Don't B list at your wedding....(I had already done this before I found these message boards)

Decide what you REALLY want to do with your life while you're in college, don't just get a degree in whatever you get good grades in without trying.  It will be way more expensive when you figure it out later and have to start over. 

lovemesomemonster

Do not "reply all" to email chains asking to be removed from them, it will snowball and everyone else will have a ton of emails saying "please remove me" "don't reply all" "please remove me" when they get into work.

Another note on reply all emails (I did not do this personally but watched it happen), do not "reply all" to an email going to the entire company with an idiot comment at 2am when you are drunk, that will most likely be the last email you send. 

[Deleted User]

Make sure the carpet freshener you are sprinkling on your carpet is actually that...and not Comet. Yes, the bottles look the same, but Comet will result in bleached blotches and burning feet when you walk on your carpet. 

theartistformerlyknownas

jenandtonic81515 said:

Make sure the carpet freshener you are sprinkling on your carpet is actually that...and not Comet. Yes, the bottles look the same, but Comet will result in bleached blotches and burning feet when you walk on your carpet. 

Aaah!

loveislouder

the #1 thing i learned when I was younger - just because you love someone doesn't mean you should get married. Sometimes love isn't enough, my friends.

(ETA Why is #1 a link? Anyone?)

VulgarGirl

jenna8984 said:

Don't put a plastic bowl or colander on a hot glass cooktop...or your ass....my friend sat on hers and smashed right through it! 

I thought you meant not to put a plastic bowl on your ass. I'm like "Well it's probably bad fashion but I don't think you'll hurt anything..."

General Life advice:

Don't worry about being weird, or people think you are weird. Turn into the skid and be yourself.

Don't get a tattoo in a place you can't cover in front of a judge

Don't put anything on line that you wouldn't want to read on the front page of the paper

Life/Wedding Advice:

Don't worry about stupid shit. I have seen someone have a tropical storm show up at her wedding and her marriage is STILL valid and awesome. So chances are, your wedding will be fine no matter what goes wrong.

Something will go wrong. It always does. The key is to keep going.

VulgarGirl

loveislouder said:

the #1 thing i learned when I was younger - just because you love someone doesn't mean you should get married. Sometimes love isn't enough, my friends.

(ETA Why is #1 a link? Anyone?)

It's counting # as a hashtag rather  then a number's sign because that's where we are in our world.

So like if people started signing their posts #bridezilla #FWP #KNOTTIESAREMEAN those would all be searchable with the hashtag.

loveislouder

MagicInk said:

loveislouder said:

the #1 thing i learned when I was younger - just because you love someone doesn't mean you should get married. Sometimes love isn't enough, my friends.

(ETA Why is #1 a link? Anyone?)

It's counting # as a hashtag rather  then a number's sign because that's where we are in our world.

So like if people started signing their posts #bridezilla #FWP #KNOTTIESAREMEAN those would all be searchable with the hashtag.

Ah... That makes sense. Well aren't I smart haha

KatWAG

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

theartistformerlyknownas

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

Me too, and the "useless" label.

KatWAG

lolo883 said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

Me too, and the "useless" label.

I really don't want to get into a huge college/ education debate. But that comment made my blood boil.

 

sarahufl

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

KatieinBkln

sarahufl said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

I'm an in-state university grad, too, but I think where I disagree with the advice above is in its unilateral certainty. State schools are right for a lot of people; Ivies are right for a lot of people; tiny liberal arts schools are right for a lot of people; community college is right for a lot of people. 

And frankly, I hate the idea that college is meant to be job training. I realize that we live in a world that pushes that notion, but a liberal arts education was never meant to train you to do X thing. It's meant to teach you to think critically, make connections, and be a thoughtful, informed citizen. Schools of all stripes can offer this kind of education.

VulgarGirl

Well I went to a public university in state. I also went to community college cause it was free. I'm happy with my education and I think I'm pretty smart. 

And my wife is a high school drop out with a law degree.

But education isn't one size fits all. 

sarahufl

KatieinBkln said:

sarahufl said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

I'm an in-state university grad, too, but I think where I disagree with the advice above is in its unilateral certainty. State schools are right for a lot of people; Ivies are right for a lot of people; tiny liberal arts schools are right for a lot of people; community college is right for a lot of people. 

And frankly, I hate the idea that college is meant to be job training. I realize that we live in a world that pushes that notion, but a liberal arts education was never meant to train you to do X thing. It's meant to teach you to think critically, make connections, and be a thoughtful, informed citizen. Schools of all stripes can offer this kind of education.

As usual, you are correct

But I do think more people need to think more critically about how much debt they are going into. It isn't sensible to be 22 and thousands and thousands in debt for a fine arts degree. I meet so many people who can't afford homes or vacations or basic necessities because they wanted to go to a college they couldn't afford. As @magicink says above, free community college! Awesome! That is a smart financial decision to make.

Different schools suit different people, no doubt. That is why there are thousands of colleges in the US. But being debt free is so much fun.

KatWAG

sarahufl said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

And you know this how?

I think its pretty short sighted to say "go in state," like @magicink said education is very personal. What worked you, wouldn't work for me.

I am of the mindset that you should go to the most academically rigorous school you get accepted to undergrad (and any post graduate work) because that is what I did. And it worked great for me and opened a ton of doors.  But I understand that it is not the best option for everyone.

thisismynickname2

lovemesomemonster said:

Do not "reply all" to email chains asking to be removed from them, it will snowball and everyone else will have a ton of emails saying "please remove me" "don't reply all" "please remove me" when they get into work.

JFC this happened in my office yesterday. I hate people who reply all just to say not to reply all!

loveislouder

thisismynickname said:

lovemesomemonster said:

Do not "reply all" to email chains asking to be removed from them, it will snowball and everyone else will have a ton of emails saying "please remove me" "don't reply all" "please remove me" when they get into work.

JFC this happened in my office yesterday. I hate people who reply all just to say not to reply all!

My student replied all to an e-mail which included my boss' wife, saying that she hated her new hair. Do people not think?

KatieinBkln

sarahufl said:

sarahufl said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

I'm an in-state university grad, too, but I think where I disagree with the advice above is in its unilateral certainty. State schools are right for a lot of people; Ivies are right for a lot of people; tiny liberal arts schools are right for a lot of people; community college is right for a lot of people. 

And frankly, I hate the idea that college is meant to be job training. I realize that we live in a world that pushes that notion, but a liberal arts education was never meant to train you to do X thing. It's meant to teach you to think critically, make connections, and be a thoughtful, informed citizen. Schools of all stripes can offer this kind of education.

As usual, you are correct

But I do think more people need to think more critically about how much debt they are going into. It isn't sensible to be 22 and thousands and thousands in debt for a fine arts degree. I meet so many people who can't afford homes or vacations or basic necessities because they wanted to go to a college they couldn't afford. As @magicink says above, free community college! Awesome! That is a smart financial decision to make.

Different schools suit different people, no doubt. That is why there are thousands of colleges in the US. But being debt free is so much fun.

Totally agree with the bolded.

It makes me so sad though, to think that fine arts degrees should be limited to a certain privileged class (not that there aren't affordable schools that offer these degrees, but many of the really good programs are from small, pricey schools). I don't have a solution; I just hate it.

(I think I am in a box? For a second we were both OUT of the box. I don't know. I'm html-challenged).

sarahufl

KatWAG said:

sarahufl said:

KatWAG said:

julieanne912 said:

Go to an in state public college.  Especially for a useless design degree.  

I strongly disagree with this.

I don't! My in-state, public bachelor's and master's degrees are long since paid off. I now manage a graduate program at an ivy league and I see the debt these folks are absolutely drowning in.

I make more money than they will when they graduate.

And you know this how?

I think its pretty short sighted to say "go in state," like @magicink said education is very personal. What worked you, wouldn't work for me.

I am of the mindset that you should go to the most academically rigorous school you get accepted to undergrad (and any post graduate work) because that is what I did. And it worked great for me and opened a ton of doors.  But I understand that it is not the best option for everyone.

I know this because most of the students who graduate from my program go on to work in the public service. I see the jobs they are getting hired for and what the salary ranges are. I do extensive work each year to establish a class profile that includes salary information. I also have an advanced degree in higher education and have spent seven years working in private schools. Also, our country has a horrible problem with student loans from over-priced colleges.

I am not being a judgmental idiot, I am using a lot of facts to make that statement.

I also never said it should be straight across the board. Also, FWIW- I went to the most "academically rigorous schools" in the country. It is public and in-state.

jenna8984

thisismynickname said:

lovemesomemonster said:

Do not "reply all" to email chains asking to be removed from them, it will snowball and everyone else will have a ton of emails saying "please remove me" "don't reply all" "please remove me" when they get into work.

JFC this happened in my office yesterday. I hate people who reply all just to say not to reply all!

Even better, we have the purchasing manager send a company wide email saying too many coffee cups are being used and people might have to bring their own mugs instead of disposable. So many people replied all saying shit like "if I have to use my own mug- the company should buy us mugs!" OMFG it's a fucking MUG- stop bitching!!

Which leads me to another good life lesson- don't be a typical fresh out of college asshole who thinks they will land this great salary and not do any work. I did that. I chatted on the phone about my inappropriate hookups, I napped in the breakroom, I texted all day, I hopped on over to HR/PR and helped them color signs. I really don't even know how I lasted a whole year before getting shitcanned.